10 Reasons You Should Feel Uneasy About Macklemore, Madonna & Queen Latifah's Mass Grammy Wedding

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by Matthew Hammett Knott
January 27, 2014 10:06 AM
140 Comments
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In case you're somehow unaware of the epic Grammy performance last night in which 33 straight and gay couples got married on stage as Macklemore & Ryan Lewis sang "Same Love" (and Queen Latifah and Madonna joined in), you can click here to watch it. Once you have, here's 10 reasons you should definitely feel uneasy.

1. Straight artists leading the agenda on gay issues
Straight allies are essential to gay causes. And as a male feminist, I can empathize. But there is a fine line to tread, and all privileged people with platforms, but especially straight white men such as Macklemore, should surely understand that there are some circumstances where there is value in raising other voices above their own - in this case, identifiably queer ones. Instead, we got...

2. Silencing the voices that really matter
The whole idea of marriage is that it is a public declaration of private love. And I understand how it could be powerful, in theory, to see this declaration made by gay couples on a vast public stage. But in this instance, the couples were treated as decoration and their declarations of love entirely unheard. In favour of Macklemore.

3. Limited screen time for the couples getting married
I'm not saying I wanted to get to know the personal history and star sign of each and every one. But it was bizarre how little we saw of the supposed focus of the song. If you're going to pull this shit, you could have the courtesy to launch a thousand glitter-coated homosexuals into the night sky. Let them on stage at least! As it was, there were times when this looked less like a public celebration of gay love and more like a badly organized line dancing rehearsal.

4. Madonna's history of commodifying minorities
If you haven't read bell hooks on Madonna and black culture, then do. Sadly, Madonna's approach to gay culture is hardly unrelated. Sure, she has also given a lot of gay people a great deal of enjoyment and support. But when the end game is, as it ever was, the Madonna brand, a healthy dose of suspicion is valid.

5. Macklemore's self-centred approach to gay rights
As has already been widely noted, rather a lot of his ode to same-sex love centres on his own travails as a straight man suffering from gender and sexuality stereotypes. Which is not an unworthy subject in theory. Just in his ill-conceived rendition.

6. The retrograde lyrics of the chorus
"I can't change, even if I try". What about trying to move the conversation on? I'd like to think that by successfully focusing the agenda on gay marriage, we'd progressed from even entertaining the idea of whether homosexuality is something that can be changed or cured. But apparently Macklemore hasn't.

7. Queen Latifah's views on sexuality as public property
I'm not here to dictate what Queen Latifah should or shouldn't say in public about herself or anyone else's sexuality, and I respect her refusal to discuss her own just as much as she clearly respects other people's right to celebrate theirs. And it's not like I'd prefer her to simply stay quiet on the matter of gay rights. This just seems a rather thorny way to wade into a discussion she has long avoided, and one that risks confusing or distracting from whatever message such a stunt aimed to promote.

8. The general warped agenda
If Macklemore, Madonna and Queen Latifah had wanted to make a powerful, public pro-gay statement, and had sat down and consulted the people they aimed to represent, I am fairly sure they would not have come up with this. This was about attention, craven self-aggrandizement and being theoretically shocking, while at the same time, utterly, utterly safe.

9. Madonna's live vocals
The Grammy stage is where Whitney Houston killed "One Moment In Time" back in '89. Have some respect.

10. Madonna's choice of attire
The cane I can handle - because then you correctly resemble that bat shit uncle who is so far behind the times it's tragic. But trust Madonna to ignore rule number one - don't wear white to someone else's wedding, bitch.

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140 Comments

  • M | April 14, 2014 6:29 AMReply

    seriously dude ,you are not right in the head!!

  • abby | March 23, 2014 7:09 PMReply

    1. well mary lambert has a girlfriend, so she is not straight
    2. you said they should have been given more privacy, and then you said they should have been given more screen time. what?
    3. this was not for attention. It is a subject Macklemore and Mary are really passionate about. If your family supported something, and they taught you to support it at an early age, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't go against it. They are just trying to express their thoughts through music.
    I'm just stating my opinion here, that I thought that some of this was incorrect.

  • Ang | March 3, 2014 11:50 PMReply

    I agree with the article. I think the whole thing was meant to provoke rather than provide a dialogue.

  • Josh Labron | February 24, 2014 10:55 PMReply

    I must respectfully disagree with every point made her! I don't want to start an argument her, but also as a member of the LGBTQIA community, the message and the stance it made overcame anything that may have been wrong with it!

  • darrius | February 13, 2014 4:33 PMReply

    I'm not homophobic whatsoever and gay bashing is wrong because we are all human beings but I think that was just wrong on the grammys... we were put on earth to reproduce and to worship god.. I don't want my kids looking at that on TV thinking it's ok..

  • Charley | February 25, 2014 3:00 PM

    When you put a 'but' after any statement, it makes what you said prior total bullshit. Turn the channel so you won't have to talk to your shitty kid for 5 minutes about how people are all different.

  • Adam Lopez | February 24, 2014 10:04 PM

    the very idea that some god put us all here to worship him/her/it all day is a very sick, and I must say very sadomasochistic. We were not PUT here. The existence of the human species (or any species) really has no purpose other than the one people choose to believe because it makes them feel better. The only alpha and omega - the only real GOD - is the star at the center of our Solar System that we call the Sun, & it is merely a giant ball of plasma that couldn't give 2 sh*ts if 2 men or 2 women get married.

  • Taylor | February 1, 2014 6:37 PMReply

    As one of the couple married on the Grammys I have to respectfully disagree with every point made. You have no grounds to stand on. You have no way to justify anything said. You weren't there. You were not one of us. So you don't know.

  • CJ | February 27, 2014 12:33 AM

    So, you're gonna criticize his lack of justifying, by doing absolutely no justification of your own, and actually making not much of a point at all. Well done.

  • GONZO | February 2, 2014 6:23 PM

    Troll!

  • Angel | February 1, 2014 5:26 PMReply

    Is madonna gay?

  • Karianne | February 1, 2014 12:24 AMReply

    Almost every point made in this article is completely invalid, and proves to me that people are idiots. The song "Same Love" was originally written by Mary Lambert, not Macklemore. She is a proudly lesbian artist from Seattle, and she is incredible. And Macklemore does have a reason and an inside view on the gay community, having an uncle that is gay. And so what if most of the people on stage are straight?

  • Carl | January 31, 2014 2:34 PMReply

    I mean no disrespect, and I'm not looking for a long obnoxious fight, I just have to say (in a very long-winded way) that I am getting very tired of people looking for fault with artists these days. This whole post is extremely petty and based on conjecture. The fact remains that this WAS a performance, so it's not strange at all that the camera would be focused on Macklemore and the other performers more-so than not. Also, he has no control over the Camera dept. so he doesn't get to say where the cameras focus. That's in the hands of the production team, and they are going to focus where the network tells them to, which is on the money, which is Macklemore, and not on the controversial ceremonies. So yes, to some degree the businessmen were probably covering their own butts, which is perfectly understandable from a business standpoint. As for criticizing Mary Lambert for her lyrics, it's her damn song. She can say what she wants, and this isn't a pulpit in the end, it's about art and entertainment, and if her form of art is self-expression, it's not her job to "move the conversation forward." And as for Macklemore somehow trying to "silence the voices that really matter," wow. Just wow. If a popular kid in middle school would have tried to use their status to give me a little positive attention, I wouldn't be giving them judgmental eyes and saying "I'M the gay one, stop trying to make this about you." I would be saying "thank you for your support" and leaving it at that. It's not like he's Obama or something, switching his views on the issue when it suits him. He's been a long time supporter and as both an artist and a gay man, I'm very irritated by this article.

  • CJ | January 31, 2014 5:54 AMReply

    These were my thoughts exactly!! And isn't one of the points of the song kinda pertaining to the idea of how "not until my uncle's can get married, will there be freedom" , I just feel it's really confusing! Like, Madonna being there?? What!?!? It's already lead by a straight guy, why add ANOTHER straight singer to help the song, while the only openly gay one their is doing the background vocals? I think it speaks highly to how people will label things good and moving, without even thinking about it!

  • Elizabeth Carter | January 31, 2014 2:49 AMReply

    For me as a gay woman, this song and event were powerful and moving. This was a wonderful display of our world evolving towards equality. AND are we all forgetting about Mary Lambert?!?! I am upset at the fact that she is not getting enough attention from the public, for she is such an amazing woman that writes beautiful music about gay love. She has a genuine perspective and I would love for her to gain the spotlight.

  • Karianne | February 1, 2014 12:26 AM

    I agree wholeheartedly. Mary is one of the most amazing artists that I have come across in a long time, and no one even knows who she is. It bothers me that no one even acknowledges the fact that she is in Same Love.

  • Claire Horn | January 30, 2014 5:20 AMReply

    I read the article and I read the comments and I am so sad that this is the state of LBGT discourse. I totally get that people feel pissed and think this is petty bitchiness in the face of something important - but really, do you express that by telling this guy he's a worthless piece of sh*t? Clearly he is gay, he writes for this blog, is this how we deal with each other. fwiw plenty of his points really hit home for me (also gay, am I allowed an opinion?). I agree with the commenter a bit below who talks about the need to maintain a balance between gratitude and critical self-awareness - and actually watching this at the Grammys made me feel uncomfortable for all sorts of reasons. The reactions of some of these commenter suggest their vitriol should scare me off from feeling this way, but that's bull. Plus, I notice 3k people have liked it on FB, which is about 2,900 more than have bitched about it here.

  • Sxip Shirey | January 30, 2014 3:58 AMReply

    There are people who do work and those who bitch about it.

  • it's me | January 30, 2014 1:48 AMReply

    Whaaaa? I quit watching award shows years ago. But I am puzzled. Why was there a mass wedding at the Grammy's? Seems oddly out of place. Why is the Grammy org promoting marriage? Madonna--how many times has she been married? Doesn't seem like a "sacred institution" to her.

  • That was My question | January 30, 2014 10:17 PM

    That was my question

  • aliciafiasco | January 29, 2014 5:10 PMReply

    Thank you Matthew! You said exactly what I've been thinking. And the motives of so-called allies who capitalize from advocating LGBTQ rights are highly questionable. To make a song where he lists his stereotypical assumptions about what it means to be gay hardly qualifies as advocating for the people who live that experience everyday. I am a self-professed ally, but as an ally I recognize the fact that I cannot speak for gay people, I can only support them. I contend that he had no place making this song unless he was going to play second fiddle to someone who actually lives and experiences the realities of being gay or lesbian in this country. I think privilege comes into play very loudly with this song, which to me is a watered down presentation of the very serious issues facing the LGBTQ community, freedom to marry is a great concern for many, but health, safety and discrimination are much more serious and just as important if not more. If Macklemore wanted to make a statement, for free, that would be honorable. But putting his weak assessment of what it means to be gay on wax is just another form of capitalizing from his privilege as a straight white male. And there's no change being affected by that. Your write-up was spot on!

  • Claire Horn | January 30, 2014 5:22 AM

    +1 to this.

  • Nick | January 29, 2014 9:21 PM

    This is silly. Macklemore wrote the song from HIS perspective as a straight man growing up with stereotypes about gays, and about his anger at his gay uncles being denied equality. NO gay person could write the song from that perspective but a straight guy with 2 gay uncles. He's not trying to speak for the gay community, he's trying to speak for himself as he sees what the gay community is going through dealing with religiously-based bigotry and secular bigotry coming from his own hip hop culture. As a gay man myself who listens to many gay topical singer-songwriters, Macklemore's song is one of the best I've heard about gay rights, and obviously I'm not alone considering the overwhelming scathing criticism this article is being given. The hip hop vocal style, at least in this case, takes on the quality of a gospel preacher, which I think is very appropriate. There's actually always a special place in the heart of gays for their allies. To bad you lost contact with that place in your heart and bought into the pathetically empty arguments of this worthless, even harmful and hurtful, piece of writing.

  • AJ | January 29, 2014 3:43 PMReply

    There were a few important points made (the concept of privilege is undeniably visible), but there was also unnecessary negativity on certain points. Besides, I still can't understand why a feminist (especially a male who claims to be a feminist) would call someone a bitch (especially to a woman), no matter how pissed they are.

  • RS | March 6, 2014 2:47 PM

    I agree. Calling her a bitch was the most confusing part of the article.

  • Dita Vodka | January 29, 2014 3:23 PMReply

    This is ridiculous and your claims are absurd.

  • jake | January 29, 2014 3:22 PMReply

    jesus christ. All people should sit at home looking in mirrors, examining their priveleges, feeling guilty, and should also fight their own causes refusing a hand out or a leg up from anyone who may be even the slightest bit more well positioned?
    how much liberal arts undergrad debt are you in to feel the need to write this?

  • TURD | January 29, 2014 3:08 PMReply

    This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Makes me wonder which is worse: Idiot gay bloggers or straight people defending us on national television. Can't you find any other outlet for your gay bitchiness?

  • it's me | January 30, 2014 1:51 AM

    *giggle*

  • Scott | January 29, 2014 2:39 PMReply

    Whine, whine, whine. Personally, I'm thankful for the straight allies who have influence and CHOOSE to use it to help the LGBT community. You sound jaded and full of it, disrespectful and unthankful. Shame on you, Matthew. You are the worst kind of reaction to this event, and as your gay elder, I officially slap you in the face and tell you to snap out of it.

  • it's me | January 30, 2014 1:53 AM

    Nice response.

    The good stuff is always in the comments, don't you agree?

  • Amanda | January 29, 2014 2:22 PMReply

    Could there been more focus on the couples getting married, probably. However focus on the big picture here for a moment. There were same sex weddings on national prime time television, (did you get that? let me repeat it) there were same sex weddings on national prime time television. No one was going to get that to happen except for big stars. Less than a month ago there was a same sex wedding on a float in the Rose Parade, while the parade is televised on multiple channels and not considered prime time, the wedding wasn't shown on any channel that I could find. It is a step in the right direction that should be celebrated, instead of telling the Ally's hey thanks for wanting to help but we don't like how you did it so F off. The equal rights movement is not going to make it far if the ally's are told they aren't wanted and aren't needed.

  • Alex | January 29, 2014 1:46 PMReply

    Dearest Alex B

    You are so right - thank you, thank your from the deepest part of my soul for making me see the light. I genuflect before you intellect and social refereeing. I have seen the error of my ways and I wish you and yours nothing but the best.

    Sincerest Regards,

    Your Logically Flawed Gay Homophobe

  • Alex B | January 30, 2014 5:26 AM

    "genuflect"? Flirt!

  • Chase | January 29, 2014 1:36 PMReply

    I cant tell if you, in writing this article, were so desparate to be edgy and therefore decided to write such utterly stupid bullet points, or if you actually have these opinions. You fail either way. Words have meaning, and my fear here is that you are alienating potential and current straight allies by writing this. I am thankful this is low circulation.

  • gay identity politics | January 29, 2014 1:49 PM

    "straight allies" implies that we're on different sides to begin with. This is the state of LBGT polititical discourse (on the Grammy's).

  • Craig | January 29, 2014 1:07 PMReply

    MATTHEW HAMMETT KNOTT (writer of this article).. Your write up is really the one and only reason I feel uneasy about this celebration of civil rights on national television. So negatively approached (scathing).

    Its not perfect, sure ..but progress never is

    P.S. at this stage in her career Madonna can wear wtf she likes

  • educate yourself | January 29, 2014 1:15 PM

    We can trace the history of other civil rights movements and their after-effects through the '60's, and see where it can potentially lead to the humiliation and degredation of their supposed objects of altruistic affection. Ever hear of Cabrini-Green? Diff'rent Strokes? J.J. "Dynomite!" Evans? Or do you look that deeply into such things?

  • ALEX | January 29, 2014 11:33 AMReply

    Dearest Alex B (and Brenda for shits and giggles)

    Blow me.

    Or just reply here with some other cocktail party banality. I anxiously await the next witticism

    Hugs and Kisses

    Your Favorite Gay Homophobe

  • Alex B | January 29, 2014 11:46 AM

    It wasn't a witticism, it was just exposing your logical fallacy.

  • Patricia Logan | January 29, 2014 11:29 AMReply

    I just need to make sure I got this right. Because they weren't gay enough for you, or purple enough for you (or in this case too white in color and clothing), you don't want the help of your allies? What the heck? As an ally and and advocate, I am ashamed for you and I don't even want to think where the GLBT community would be without allies of all shapes, colors, sexes, races, and fashion impaired. The community has come a long way in a few years and unfortunately, I cannot wave my magic wand and make all of this homophobia disappear overnight. Sorry, Matthew, you need us... the way the Jews needed Christians during WWII and the way that slaves needed their white allies during abolition. Shame on you for trashing people who stand up and believe in equality. How about this? Be a little more SUPPORTIVE of your SUPPORTERS!

  • Candy | January 29, 2014 11:38 AM

    There's been a history of the voices of the oppressed being co-opted by their oppressor. I think that's the fault people find with Macklemore's song. For example, nearly all movies about blacks in Hollywood have to have some sort of white handler to them, think Mathew Broderick in Glory, Driving Ms. Daisy, Brad Pitt in 12 Years a Slave. Quite frankly, it shows a political naivety in the gay community to not know this and go along with it. Did you ever stop and think that homosexual rights were being used for something other than what was claimed? Are we a society that puts great stock in human rights at this moment in history? Therein lies the great hypocrisy.

  • Candy says | January 29, 2014 11:24 AMReply

    It would appear that some liberal queer blog must have sent its minions to troll this post. I agree with most of the points made and think that gay people are lowering themselves into accepting crumbs from the table from the straight (and closeted gay) establishment. The Macklemore song's lyrics are laughable in their unintentional offensiveness. Gay people are famous for the thick skins they developed through the years; it's so sad to see such a strong, willful, and viciously funny people reduced to such Lifetime-level gestures of gingerbread sentimentality. I for one had a good strong laugh over this bullshit and will look for other ways to go against the prevailing cultural mores. Abstaining from public weddings will be my first act of rebellion.

  • Richard | January 29, 2014 10:47 AMReply

    Way, way, way too cynical and bitter. This was prime time TV, an awards show, with the "whole world" watching. The idea that this could have occurred in any way, shape or form as little as 2 years ago was unthinkable. On New Years Day the gay wedding at Rose Bowl parade was not even shown on TV.

    SO, yes, it wasn't "as perfect" as it would be if it were designed by gay activists. And of course the performance artists have ulterior motives supported by the whole thing. What is completely missing is that this whole movement--being comfortable with same love, acknowledging that "I can't change", and the legal right to marriage equality is about changing peoples minds bit by bit. This was a HUGE win, "free" publicity that could not have been garnered any other way. If the ceremony was abbreviated, well the awards speeches are truncated for the expediency of time. GET OVER IT and cheer the win.

  • Alex | January 29, 2014 10:27 AMReply

    Brenda - I am gay, engaged to a man - but thanks for playing!

  • Alex B | January 29, 2014 10:43 AM

    "I'm gay so am constitutionally incapable of homophobia". lol. heard that one before!

  • Alex | January 29, 2014 9:56 AMReply

    Yawn...to you and this article. Get a grip and drop the "grasping my pearls" indignation. It may not matter much to some queen living it up in Hells Kitchen, but for a kid living at home in the middle of some flyover with no where or no one to turn to, its a pretty powerful message.

    P.S I'm really sorry that guy never texted you back after your date. Don't worry its not you, its him.

  • Candy | January 29, 2014 11:48 AM

    To a kid in the middle of some flyover, it offers false hope. If anything, by being so creepy and in your face about it, it threatens to reopen the old trends of homophobia that could get such a kid beaten up or killed. To need such obvious gestures of reaffirmation is weak. Glee and Lady Gaga are a blight on gay culture.

  • BRENDA | January 29, 2014 10:17 AM

    The combination of unashamed homophobia and righteous indignation in this comment is truly hilarious.

  • PERCY PIG | January 29, 2014 9:46 AMReply

    Don't agree with all the points, but don't understand all the comments saying this is full of hate and bitterness. He said he felt uneasy!!!

  • paul rodriguez | January 29, 2014 9:25 AMReply

    Couldn't think up 10 so you just threw number 8 in there? Most of the time, if someone is making a list, the item that comes after the word "general" is BS. Just like this one.

  • Jem coones | January 29, 2014 8:29 AMReply

    To sum up this blog: BITTER QUEEN

  • Melanie Steward | January 29, 2014 6:24 AMReply

    I understand personal opinions. I happen to disagree with this one.

  • Thomas Moore | January 29, 2014 6:20 AMReply

    I have to say the article or "blog" was opinions from a negative person. I agree with many that this article was negative and bitter at best. Regardless of your view on Madonna, QL, etc... ten years ago this would not have happened on a world wide distributed television show. I enjoyed it as did many millions. It was Hollywood and many times Hollywood has been by the LGBT community when others have shunned us, tried to keep us down, dismissed us, so on and so forth so who cares if Madonna is just being Madonna (don't forget an entire generation and then some put her in this iconic status). As for his two comments about the couples being decorations and the voices being silenced... Yes, they were decorations on a stage show called the Grammy's and the voice have not been silenced, just turn on the t.v. or facebook and read/listen to those, just like us, saying what they feel about it all. In my "opinion" this persons ramblings was horrible and negative and more of an anti celebration of gay marriage than several other haters I have read.

  • Chad | January 29, 2014 4:47 AMReply

    this author sounds completely full of hate and bitterness. i hope nobody buys into this crap. ungrateful and judgemental and horrible at his job.

  • Toni | January 29, 2014 3:17 AMReply

    I think that what you said about doing something shocking in a safe space is really, really important here. California is about as safe as it gets for living an openly gay life. The location of this stage, in LA, is a (generally, as always) safe place for people to live out this lifestyle. The message this sends to the rest of the country is not "Oh hey, homosexuality is all cool guys, be tolerant" it is "Look how f-ing great it is to be gay/lesbian/queer in Los Angeles, California."

  • Kerrigan | January 29, 2014 3:06 AMReply

    And what have you done for the cause? You sound smug. And you have TOTALLY missed the point of the song and the show. You are what I like to call a HATER.

  • joizy | January 29, 2014 1:45 AMReply

    Assuming you are gay, as I am, I have to say I get the bitterness, but lighten up. I grew up in a time when you did not see gay people on TV (and if one happened to appear, he either became straight or died - Steven, a character on Dynasty, did both - he died, and then reappeared as a straight man), you did not hear mention of gay people on TV (other than people making fun of us). Being openly gay was only possible in the East Village or San Francisco. We hung out in bars, movie theaters, bath houses or bushes at night and by day we pretended we were other. We lived in fear that we'd be discovered, that our bosses would find out, that our families would disown us, that we might get beat up or killed. The little freedom we had was always tenuous. It could be taken away in an instant, by an act of violence or a piece of legislation. To see a lesbian perform a marriage ceremony on prime time television, some of the couples same sex, others heterosexual, all equal in the eyes of the law, to see an advocate like Madonna, who has always supported and embraced us, use her celebrity to further our cause, and to see newcomers like Macklemore, talk about his own personal experience (have you listened to his interview where he talks about the song, or are you speaking out of your own ignorance?) and raise us up as equals. Have you seen the video for Mary Lambert's song, "I can't change"? - I had tears in my eyes watching it because it was the first time in my 54 years that I have ever heard a love song/seen a video, that reflected the kind of love I feel. I am assuming you are young, and you grew up in a different time and place that I did. I appreciate your unwillingness to settle and to always seek perfection. The generations after me have continued to push our movement forward. But please, I am asking you, for people like me, who had to live in fear, shame and silence, try to see the good in every step we take forward. This was good. Relish it. Watch Mary Lambert's video. Feel the love. Watch Mackelmore's interview. Feel the love.

  • John | January 29, 2014 12:49 AMReply

    Only part I agree with is the last sentence (and only for comedic value). I'm not going to get into a huge comment war (which never go anywhere on the Internet).

    I'd just advise you to look at the video for the song. It's a great example of how SELFLESS, not selfish, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have been about the topic of their song. Macklemore is only in the video for around 5 seconds, and he isn't the focus of the video (and he's barely more than an extra). He realizes that what he is rapping about isnt about him (a poignant outlier in rap). The video reflects that. Despite the attention he has gotten from the song, he actually cares about this issue. Listen to the interviews he and Ryan have done (specifically the one they did on 'Tell Me More').

  • Gordon | January 29, 2014 12:45 AMReply

    Perhaps the value is in on-going visibility. We've come a long way from a wooden gay kiss on Melrose Place. And whereas straight anuses used to audibly slam shut whenever we were on tv, now they seem to slowly creak to a narrowed-yet still open little maw, like a broken screen door gently hissing a ssssssssssssssssss before going rigid a good foot from the latch.

  • Fernando | January 28, 2014 11:49 PMReply

    HATER!

  • PJ | January 28, 2014 11:43 PMReply

    So, you call yourself a "male feminist" and you use the derogatory term "bitch." Right. That's how a feminist writes.

  • Sally Potter | January 29, 2014 9:53 AM

    Oh, please. We feminists are allowed to use irony. I'm a woman and a feminist and I say bithc in a jokey voice all the time. I'm far more interested in the content of someone's feminism and not picking up on snarky little points like this. Get over yourself!

  • Kerrigan | January 29, 2014 3:07 AM

    Excellent point.

  • samantha | January 28, 2014 11:43 PMReply

    What I've concluded over years of gay marriage being debated is that no side ever wins. Anti gay folks will always disapprove and most gay folks (and some straight people) will always fire back. Nothing will ever change so why not just drop it and move on?

  • paul | January 29, 2014 9:33 AM

    Thats kinda the point though isnt it? If we were to "just move on" a compromise would have to be reached. Hopefully the compromise is "fine, we dont agree but you can do it" thats always the compromise because this is America. But it's not really possible to "just move on" until anti-homosexual americans say "fine, we dont agree but you can do it"

  • CS | January 28, 2014 11:23 PMReply

    10 reasons I won't feel uneasy!
    1. 3 super influential artists stood up for love, acceptance and equality.
    2. The Grammys took the opportunity to create an event to celebrate love, acceptance and equality.
    3. 40 million + tuned in to witness love, acceptance and equality, not a 15minute claim to fame.
    4. Madonna has always stood up for love, acceptance and equality regardless of wealth, race, sexual preferences etc etc
    5. Macklemore(not gay) and Mary Lambert (gay) created at song that addresses love, acceptance and equality from the perceptive of a kid with a preconceived idea of what it all meant...
    6. The song is about love, acceptance and equality... The lyrics (words) of songs are typically of a poetic, rhyming nature. The meaning of lyrics can either be explicit or implicit.
    7. Queen L dived in in support for love, acceptance and equality by the power vested to her by the state to legally marry people. She did it with grace.
    8. See points 1, 2 and 3. It was shockingly amazing to watch people share love, acceptance and be equal in a safe inviting and welcoming way.
    9. Even in 1989 Madonna sounded amazing on stage as she performed at the VMAs, song choice was... Express yourself, even then she was encouraging love, acceptance and equality singing... Don't go for second best, put your love to the test.
    10. It's an age-old wedding etiquette question that's been the source of great debate: Is it okay to wear a white dress to a wedding if you are not the one getting hitched? Believe it or not, etiquette books say yes to guests wearing white (and black, and even red), as long as the fabric and cut of the dress aren't bridal at all. Madge didn't look bridal, she was there to celebrate, love, acceptance and equality.

  • 8 | March 3, 2014 11:52 PM

    Are you even listening to yourself? Gag.

  • A Gay Man | January 28, 2014 11:03 PMReply

    Who gives a rat's ass about who was straight, Gay speaking against gays what ever. This one performance said that it's ok to be who you are and don't be ashamed of who you are. I think Madonna looked very good for her age and the suit fit her well.

  • Billy | January 28, 2014 10:55 PMReply

    How about you piss off with your pissy, negative, made up problem. The show was awesome. Mack and Madge are both awesome. Coming out IS a part of being Gay and Queen Latifah will come out when SHE'S ready. Now find something real to report on or just STFU.

  • Rodrigo | January 28, 2014 10:33 PMReply

    Most stupid article I have read in a while…
    Dude dedicate to something else... I am sure it's not too late!!!

  • Torey | January 28, 2014 10:23 PMReply

    You are disagreeing for the sake of. I didn't identify one clear point in any of these bull shit ridden statements. Sorry.

  • ClintS | January 28, 2014 10:18 PMReply

    While I respect your right to voice an opinion, I have the right to disagree with it. We witnessed a defining moment in the quest for equality for all, let's pay tribute to everyone who has stood up for equality in race, religion, women's rights, sexual orientation, democracy and human rights... Regardless of their own preferences, motives, vocal abilities or attire. We are truly blessed! Let us continue with passion and compassion, let's continue to lead by example and let's turn the dream of equality into reality!

  • Dan | January 28, 2014 10:17 PMReply

    I have to say this: I don't think I agree with a single thing this person stated. I'm a gay man and I didn't feel the least bit offended. In fact...I was truly moved by all. ESPECIALLY queen Latifa. I think you all are just a bunch of bitter ole queens. You need to just say thank you when appropriate and speak up for something significant and this in my opinion was not significant.

  • Brett | January 28, 2014 10:16 PMReply

    We have to stop crucifying our straight allies for the way they support us. We all play a part in promoting positive change. When our allies are willing to use the public platform they've been give to advance our cause and help bring awareness to the need for equal protection and equal rights, then we should simply thank them. That being said, I'd like to thank all of our allies who performed and showed support on the Grammys as well as extend a huge thank you to all of our straight allies who support us everyday. Equality does not come easy, and we can't do it without you.

  • seriously | January 28, 2014 9:58 PMReply

    This blog seems very bitter and negative, we have far more pressing and serious issues to deal in the fight for equality to split hairs about Madonna's attire or to be ungrateful for massive exposure and the support of celebrities. It also bothers me that the blogger says that straights are leading the agenda or that they are silencing the voices that matter, gay marriage is a civil rights issue and nobody's voice matters more or less, and our straight allies deserve our gratitude, not criticism. Oh and the the pop-ups on the blog are annoying.

  • sftbob | January 28, 2014 9:39 PMReply

    i think the real issue here is that trying to find something wrong with an event like this is like a queer reflex. i think just as sad as christians who are desperately trying to hold onto their bigotry is a queer blogger culture that is just as desperately trying to hold onto victim status. you could have just enjoyed the moment for what it was, a really lovely show of support aimed toward a primarily straight audience, modeling acceptance (as the song does). i think few people were made 'uneasy' by anything actually contained in the performance, but rather they feel that way because they think they're supposed to find something to be upset about. and, frankly, saying how much you enjoy or were moved by something doesn't feed the blogger/facebook click machine the same way as shitting all over it. that might feel good now, but once this kind of whining ingratitude starts hitting the mainstream conversation, it's going to cost us supporters.

  • BB | January 28, 2014 8:59 PMReply

    Sorry BUT you have no clue ! Im sure I can find you 10 reasons, you suck !
    STOP reading into things that aren't there.
    I enjoyed the performance and the meaning behind it.
    Open up your heart, and shut your dumb-ass mouth cuz nothing good comes out of your writing.

  • Ellie B | January 28, 2014 8:48 PMReply

    Reading through these comments it's kind of interesting to me that most of the negative reaction is from those writing under traditionally male names. I know a comment like this will get ravaged - and don't worry I'm not about to launch into an essentialist rant - I just wonder why more ladies aren't piping up? Is it that they agree, disagree, or can't be bothered to join the shit show? Personally I'm wondering why one guy expressing his opinion prompts such mass of vitriol? Doesn't the word "uneasy" mean something different to him outright condemning what happened at the Grammys? Is he not allowed to criticise, raise opinions and foster a little dissent without all this ad hominem crap?

  • Ellie B | January 28, 2014 8:52 PM

    Also, yes! to bell hooks. loved that text. bet all the people shit talking that point haven't even read it.

  • Roman | January 28, 2014 8:28 PMReply

    I kind of agree with this. Everyone has their own opinion on it but as a gay man I just feel like they were making gay marriage as a side show of the circus known as the Grammy's. I don't think it's petty to not want to feel like your struggle is a half time show on a national televised network. Then again, people can do what they want. I'm happy that people were able to wed and marry who they wanted to marry. But I mean at the end of the day, will Macklemore be going to Pride this year? Did he go last year? Or the year before that? It's nice that Macklemore wants to support our struggle but I wouldn't feel comfortable with him being the voice to get our freedom.

  • Andrew | January 28, 2014 6:46 PMReply

    Someone always has to go and throw shade. I can see some of your points maybe having some validity, but overall this article is from a person who doesn't actually know the full scope of Macklemore as an artist. Do a little more research. Anyone want to direct your comments to the writer of this article, found his Twitter handle. https://twitter.com/mhknott

  • Alex | January 28, 2014 6:01 PMReply

    You article made me uneasy about reading blogs. Who the hell are you and why should anyone care about your narrow-minded views on those marriages? They chose to get married in that venue. Yes, it was a stunt but it was one that needs to be made.

  • Jimmy | January 28, 2014 5:37 PMReply

    This is exactly why I deleted my Facebook account. I am so tired of people hiding behind a computer and bashing other people. As a gay man, I have absolutely no problem with the performance/ceremony at The Grammy's. As far as I'm concerned, everything you said is YOUR OPINION, which you're entitled to. But who do you think you are that the world gives two shits about what you have to say about our straight allies. If you don't have anything positive to say about someone, just keep it to yourself. Seriously, no one cares what YOU think.

  • Davidd | January 29, 2014 3:33 AM

    I totally agree with Jimmy. I saw nothing wrong with that performance. It was touching, heartfelt and well-done.

  • Davidd | January 29, 2014 3:31 AM

    test

  • Luther | January 28, 2014 6:41 PM

    Jimmy, if that's your REAL name.... perhaps next time you should post a link with a picture of yourself along with your real name, because otherwise, I just feel that you're "hiding behind your computer and bashing people." P.S. as a near 30 year Madonna fan, I thought the performance was utterly ridiculous, offensive to gays, and a lowpoint to her career. And I say that completely anonymously because I really don't want potentially mentally unstable people like "jimmy" looking me up.

  • Brad | January 28, 2014 5:34 PMReply

    This article is ridiculous. Seriously. This was one of the biggest things to happen to the movement. This was great. You are trying to create controversy. Shut up!

  • Mike | January 29, 2014 11:10 AM

    "This was one of the biggest things to happen to the movement" - Seriously? Not DOMA or DADT being struck down? Not grass-roots activism on a national scale by hundreds of thousands of people? If anything it's an effect of all of that, not a cause of anything much.

  • Matt Steele | January 28, 2014 5:05 PMReply

    How did you get this writing job? You completely disregard the fact that Mary Lambert collaborated with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on the song. Then you say that this performance hurts the LGBT community and your last few reasons as to why are some bitchy, shallow comments on Madonna. Get off my computer screen.

  • Mary Smith | January 29, 2014 11:44 AM

    Not only did Mary Lambert collaborate on the song, she wrote the "retrograde" chorus. This author is full of shit.

  • Paul Richmond | January 28, 2014 4:26 PMReply

    It's so easy to be critical, to question everyone's motives, and to make fun of them because you don't like their outfit or their voice. If I had any doubt about that, my social media feeds have erased it in the days following this performance. However, I have nothing but gratitude for anyone who makes a public statement in support of equality. Period.

  • Roberto | January 28, 2014 4:16 PMReply

    Well, I don't feel uneasy at all, much less after reading this ridiculous take on a major, major moment on the stuggle in the right direction. I wish something like this had happened on TV when I was growing up. Thank you to Macklemore, Madonna, and Queen Latifah!!!

  • Grint | January 28, 2014 4:54 PM

    Do you really think mainstream acceptance is a godsend? Look at black culture. It's been almost entirely obliterated since it's artitstic peak in the 1970's. The Corporation is the vampire at the window, and it's best to not let it in when it comes calling.

  • Nek | January 28, 2014 4:13 PMReply

    Ok - firstly the entire article was spot on. Like it love it hate it,.. It was right on. That being said artists love a cause that gives them exposure and media. No exposure no media = dead career. Lots and lots if people jump on a/an/any bandwagon they they may not actually be personally vested in. But all that being said I was disappointed in the marriage ceremony - no vows,.. No words - nothing but a ring exchanged and the actual focus was on just about everything but those getting married. As a gay man I don't really feel bad for wealthy and hugely popular artists who don't quite fit an exact "box" for others. Really,..I don't. I guess I need to accept that for most,..hype and notariety at far more important than anything else. But then,..this was the Grrraamzies. I should not expect higher standards,.better performers or singers who can actually carry a tune without an AutoTune. And Madinna wearing WHITE on the stage for others g
    Getting married,..... The focal is on those getting married,.. If it's not,.. Then don't pretend you actually care about those getting married. It was a stunt,.. A gay and STRAIGHT marriage stunt,.. But a stunt none the less. :-) it is TV after all.

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