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Do 'The People' Really Want to See James Franco Naked?

by Alice Lytton
May 9, 2014 2:35 PM
7 Comments
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James Franco 1


Oh, James Franco. I'm wailing your name but with no pleasure at all. You make me a bad feminist and an irascible queer. Sure, I want to talk about the politics of body bits and their representation (like why erect dicks and female nudity are subject to different rules). But I'm not interested in commenting on particular people's particularly naked bodies. Mainly because all of the ways that we have these conversations tend either to be just plain mean or they pound home the (quite frankly deeply weird) cultural norms about weight or breast size or how we should tend our bushes (I'm sure those stiff pubic denizens would rather be left in peace).

But then, like a choreographed sequence of lit farts, your Instagrams eclipse the internet and I am faced with your clammy physique. I stay silent, because fine, do what you will, who am I to comment? You're nude and covered in a thin sheen of who-knows-what (does one secrete smug?) and that is your right. I know you are trolling me anyway, I understood that after reading your poetry (the best thing ever written on the poetry of James Franco, by the way -  a truly sublime piece of writing - can be found here.) I don't take the bait; I let you do your shit.

But now you tell me AND David frigging Letterman that this is what we want? That this is what anyone wants? This isn't what I want, James Franco! I want universal healthcare to be an uncontroversial aspect of an uncontroversial welfare state; I want a puppy; I want Cecily McMillan not to receive a custodial sentence; and I really want to know why they ended "Friends" with Jefferson Airplane. The only time I want to see you is in a film because acting is literally the one sphere in which you demonstrate genuine talent! And don't tell me not to follow you on Instagram: I don't! But every time you do this crap I cannot help but have your mons pubis pumped unceremoniously in my face. 

In the words of Letterman "James, honest to God, why?"

Watch the offending interview here:




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7 Comments

  • Nelly | May 10, 2014 6:33 AMReply

    I am forevermore referring to my pubes as stiff pubic denizens; it's kind of gross and accurate all at once!

  • kyle young | May 10, 2014 6:17 AMReply

    do people really want to read bent? wieners down party. sorry dudes unsubscribe time.

  • Ummm | May 9, 2014 7:11 PMReply

    Not every other celebrity says "this is what the people want" so it's not really a dumb question. Unless you're a Franco fanatic in which case god help anyone who dares question his lordship.

  • FRANCO | May 9, 2014 6:12 PMReply

    Do 'The People' Really Want to See James Franco Naked? The most unnecessary question EVER ASKED! I presume that question also applies to EVERY celebrity that shows their bodies too.

    The whole movie industry consist of someone getting naked at one time or another. Whether a movie i.e. Magic Mike or for some magazine cover like People or GQ. Let's not forget awards shows that highlight the naked form i.e. MTV Best Shirtless Performance.

    Franco, gave some valid points in the interview but he should really think of his younger fans more (every celebrity should). It's also up to the parent(s) responsibility to ensure what their children see, even though it can prove difficult at times.

    YOU also have a choice to follow/unfollow him as he stated. It's not the best picture he's ever taken, a little to far but I always look forward to seeing something about his movies/selfies/other project announcements etc. and that will NOT stop.

    Good or Bad picture of Franco - still better than the average MAN/STAR. It's got people talking.. He does his own thing (careful though). Oh, when EVERY celebrity decides to cover up and not promote it on Twitter/Instagram or Facebook etc. THEN you can single out Franco, if he hasn't already.

  • Joe | May 9, 2014 3:22 PMReply

    God people are so judgmental. If you don't want to see it then unfollow him or keep scrolling. It's his life not yours.

  • Daniel | May 9, 2014 2:57 PMReply

    I honestly never would have seen this picture had this article not been written. Maybe James Franco has a point.

  • celeste | May 9, 2014 2:50 PMReply

    He's such a media whore...Can't stand him anymore. Skipping ALL his films now on.

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