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Oscar Bitchfest: The Boys of /bent On Who Should and Will Win On Sunday

By Peter Knegt, Matthew Hammett Knott and Oliver Skinner | /Bent March 1, 2014 at 1:32PM

The boys of /bent offer their picks for who should and will win Oscars on Sunday.
1
"American Hustle"

The Oscars are less than 48 hours away, so the boys of /bent decided to offer up both their hopes & dreams for Sunday night, and the inevitable disappointments. Here's who we think will win on Oscar night, and who should in the main categories, and the gay ones (costume design, original song & makeup and hairstyling, respectively):

Best Picture:

What Will
Matt: "12 Years a Slave."
Oliver: Best case scenario: "12 Years a Slave" or "Gravity"

Peter: I suspect your best case scenario will work out. I'm saying "12 Years" too but it could easily be "Gravity"

What Should

Matt: I don't want any of these films to win, so I'm going for a "Her" / "American Hustle" tie, making Megan Ellison the first ever person to win two Best Picture trophies on one night and annoying all those people who write "daddy's little rich girl" articles about her.
Oliver: Although I can think of more than a handful of films I'd rather see nominated, I'd say "Gravity" fits the bill of "universally moving filmgoing experience" as well as any — but more importantly, Oscar gods: I'm praying to thee that you finally give Emmanuel Lubezki the credit he deserves (or risk devaluing your little golden statue even more).

Peter: I heart "Her" more than anything else nominated here, though whether its "Gravity" or "12 Years a Slave," things seemed poised to offer the rarity of a best picture winner I actually really liked. 


Alfonso

Best Director:

Who Will

Matt: Alfonso Cuaron - but only because the Academy feel guilty for not rewarding him for the shower scene in "Y Tu Mama Tambien".
Oliver: Alfonso Cuaron.

Peter: Alfonso Cuaron.

Who Should

Matt: Alfonso Cuaron, because I actually put money on this in October.
Oliver: Alfonso Cuaron!!!!!

Peter: Alfonso Cuaron! But just with one exclamation mark.


Best Actor:

Who Will
Matt: Matthew McConaughey.
Oliver: Matthew McConaughey.

Peter: Ugh, Matthew McConaughey. God, we're boring. Or I guess, no, the Oscars are boring. And worse for making us seem boring.

Who Should

Matt:  I think there should be a general boycott of this category until Hollywood gets better at creating leading roles for women.
Oliver: Chiwetel Ejiofor hands down.

Peter: Oscar Isaac by some write-in ballot miracle.


Best Actress:
Who Will
Matt: Cate Blanchett.
Oliver: Cate Blanchett.

Peter: Judi Dench! I'm kidding. Cate Blanchett.

Who Should

Matt:   I can't take this category seriously if it doesn't include Paulina Garcia or Adele Exarchopoulos. So I'm going to go with Meryl Streep, so that she can tie the Katherine Hepburn record, retire, and pass all her roles to Frances Conroy.
Oliver: Moments after seeing "Blue is the Warmest Color" I was proclaiming, with knowing dread, how deeply unjust it'd be if the almighty Academy ignored Adele Exarchopoulos' killer performance. Alas, Cate Blanchett's win would put a huge smile on my face. If not, there's only so many traumas a person can withstand until they take to the streets and start screaming.

Peter: I'm totally fine with Cate winning, and showing us once again how acceptance speeches are properly done.


This article is related to: Academy Awards, Awards Season Roundup, Bitchfest