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The 7 Most Boring Winners at The Incredibly Boring 2014 Emmy Awards

By /bent | /Bent August 25, 2014 at 11:03PM

Like most of you, we regret wasting our evenings even watching them.
6
Ty Burrell
Ty Burrell

Oh man. Tonight's Emmy Awards offered predictable and boring winners even by the standards of the Emmy Awards. We can look the other way with the predictability of "Breaking Bad' because, you know, it's "Breaking Bad," but overall these winners were behind the times, unsurprising and enough to keep things largely on mute… Here's 7 of particularly snoozeworthy note: 

1. MODERN FAMILY!? Five in a row. FIVE IN A ROW for best comedy series. Over "Veep," "Louie" and "Orange is the New Black." 

2. Ty Burrell winning best supporting actor again. Adding insult to injury, voters gave Ty Burrell his third trophy, over the intensely  more deserving Andre Braugher and Adam Driver. Even Burrell's co-star Jesse Tyler Ferguson would have least been a nice change of pace. 

3. "Modern Family" also wins for best directing. You get what we're saying by now, but seriously… The Emmys self-profess this the golden age of television and throw all these trophies at a tired, hardly innovative series two seasons past its prime.

4. "The Amazing Race" gets a TENTH Emmy for best reality series. And it could have been deserved for all we know, but seriously -- there must be something else out there good enough to spread some of this love.

5. Jim Parsons takes home his FOURTH Emmy for "The Bang Bang Theory." And for the fourth time, Louis CK loses in this category. Apparently his $1 million/episode paycheck wasn't enough to make his fellow Academy members resent him. 

6. Jessica Lange for "American Horror Story: Coven."  We bow down to Ms. Lange, but seriously "Coven" was the most subpar edition of "AHS" yet and we feel like Emmy voters just vote for Lange on reflex. 

7. Julia Louis-Dreyfus makes it three a row. Okay, we love Julia and love "Veep" and this was a more than deserved win. But it was still a little boring… And Amy Poehler would have been fun.

What was exciting about the winners tonight, really? Julianna Margulies? If that's the most exciting win, then we're in trouble.