Doing something about the ongoing debasement of film criticism as an excuse for stand-up comedy will have to wait for at least one more day, because Adam Sandler has a new movie. And anytime comedy's most successful slob releases a new movie that isn't directed by a certified auteur like Paul Thomas Anderson or Judd Apatow, attention, and sarcasm, must be paid. This time out, Sandler stars as a former victim of statutory rape who crashes his estranged son's (Andy Samberg) wedding (statutory rape = hilarious). So if this be The Snark Ages of criticism, then tonight we dine IN GROSS-OUT COMEDY HELL!
Here are ten great lines from ten bad reviews of "That's My Boy."
"Even with 87.5 years to go, the 21st century may never see a stupider comedy than 'That's My Boy.'"
"To say that 'That's My Boy' is a step up from the recent output of Adam Sandler and his company Happy Madison Productions really is to suggest only that the film isn't likely to be screened as some sort of new Guantanamo interrogation technique."
"If you do go and feel tempted to leave after the first hour, stick it out. If you suffer through the bad part, at least wait for the almost good part."
"You could say that Samberg does a good job of looking embarrassed by Donny, but that might not be acting."
"Sandler’s Happy Madison production company is like a one-man employment agency for people who have no other reason to be on camera."
"The film is such a barren comic wasteland of scatology and misogyny that Vanilla Ice steals the film."
"The soup to nuts of sex acts are supported and even applauded, except for incest. That remains taboo, which means there is a shred of hope for civilization."
"At one point, we watch Sandler's character masturbate for about two minutes, which is a nice metaphor."
"Did something terrible happen to Adam Sandler as a child?"
"It truly does take a village of idiots to get these films made."
"That's My Boy" opens in wide release tomorrow.