Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
'The End of the Tour' Sundance Reviews: Jason Segel Impresses as David Foster Wallace 'The End of the Tour' Sundance Reviews: Jason Segel Impresses as David Foster Wallace Why the Unanimous Praise for 'Boyhood' Is Bad for Film Criticism — and for 'Boyhood' Why the Unanimous Praise for 'Boyhood' Is Bad for Film Criticism — and for 'Boyhood' Daily Reads: The Epic Uncool of Philip Seymour Hoffman's Career, How Scarlett Johansson Subverts Her Good Looks and More Daily Reads: The Epic Uncool of Philip Seymour Hoffman's Career, How Scarlett Johansson Subverts Her Good Looks and More Cahiers du Cinema's Top 10 Movies of 2014: 'Goodbye to Language,' 'Under the Skin,' 'Love Is Strange' Cahiers du Cinema's Top 10 Movies of 2014: 'Goodbye to Language,' 'Under the Skin,' 'Love Is Strange' Love or Hate 'American Sniper,' We're Brought Together By Its Bad Fake Baby Love or Hate 'American Sniper,' We're Brought Together By Its Bad Fake Baby The A.V. Club's 25 Best Sitcom Episodes of the Past 25 Years: 'Seinfeld,' 'The Simpsons' and More The A.V. Club's 25 Best Sitcom Episodes of the Past 25 Years: 'Seinfeld,' 'The Simpsons' and More First Reviews of Johnny Depp's 'Mortdecai': Scraping Bottom With a Waxed Moustache First Reviews of Johnny Depp's 'Mortdecai': Scraping Bottom With a Waxed Moustache 'Girls' Outrage Tracker: Season 4, Episode 1, 'Iowa' 'Girls' Outrage Tracker: Season 4, Episode 1, 'Iowa' Not at Sundance? Watch 14 Festival Films Via Sundance's #ArtistServices Not at Sundance? Watch 14 Festival Films Via Sundance's #ArtistServices 'Girls' Outrage Tracker: Season 4, Episode 2, 'Triggering' 'Girls' Outrage Tracker: Season 4, Episode 2, 'Triggering' Now Streaming: 'The Interview' and Other Movies That Didn't Get Us Threatened Now Streaming: 'The Interview' and Other Movies That Didn't Get Us Threatened 'Strange Magic' Reviews: Yup, That's Late Period George Lucas, All Right 'Strange Magic' Reviews: Yup, That's Late Period George Lucas, All Right 'Going Clear' Sundance Reviews: A Scorching Takedown of Scientology 'Going Clear' Sundance Reviews: A Scorching Takedown of Scientology Meet the Indiewire | Sundance Institute Ebert Film Criticism Fellows, 2015 Meet the Indiewire | Sundance Institute Ebert Film Criticism Fellows, 2015 'Better Call Saul': 'Breaking Bad' Prequel Accepts the Charges 'Better Call Saul': 'Breaking Bad' Prequel Accepts the Charges The Scrambled Sexuality of 'Frozen's "Let It Go" The Scrambled Sexuality of 'Frozen's "Let It Go" Daily Reads: Movie Monsters That Look Like Genitalia, Why It Feels Like There's Too Much TV and More Daily Reads: Movie Monsters That Look Like Genitalia, Why It Feels Like There's Too Much TV and More 'Disney Deaths' and 'Big Hero 6': How Children's Stories Process Loss 'Disney Deaths' and 'Big Hero 6': How Children's Stories Process Loss 'Dope' Sundance Reviews: A Smart, High-Energy Comedy 'Dope' Sundance Reviews: A Smart, High-Energy Comedy Daily Reads: Stop Pitting 'Broad City' Against 'Girls,' How Political Pundits Warp 'American Sniper,' and more Daily Reads: Stop Pitting 'Broad City' Against 'Girls,' How Political Pundits Warp 'American Sniper,' and more

Schwarzeneggerhetoric: The Fifteen Greatest Arnold One-Liners

Criticwire By Matt Singer | Criticwire January 18, 2013 at 10:04AM

Stick around.
7
"Total Recall."
"Total Recall."

A new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie means one thing: new Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liners. Sure enough, in "The Last Stand," right before he unloads a Vickers gun on the bad guys, Arnold unloads a big groaner of a wisecrack. I won't spoil what it is, of course (and, truth be told, it's not one of his best), but a Schwarzenegger movie without one-liners is like a day without sunshine (and Schwarzenegger movies).

Arnold didn't invent the action movie one-liner -- Sean Connery's James Bond shared the same love of capping a horrible death with a terrible pun ("I think he got the point," he says in "Thunderball" after shooting a guy with a speargun). But Schwarzenegger certainly popularized them to the point that they became synonymous with an entire decade of action movies  -- and with his entire onscreen persona. The two really are inseparable. Even as a politician, his stump speeches always included one-liners. These great moments in cinema history needed to be honored in some way, which brings us to the list below. The very rigorous research, evaluation, and ranking process went like this: I spent the first 30 years of my life watching these movies over and over again. And then I wrote this.

The only rule: to qualify, a line had to be written as comedy, not turned into comedy by the magic of Schwarzenegger's accent. "Get to the choppa!" has become one of the most famous and most imitated action movie lines ever -- but if any other actor says it, it's just another barked instruction, no different than a dozen other things intense dudes scream at each other when they're running from deadly alien predators.

With that out of the way, here, listed in ascending order -- and with (often very violent) video in every single case so you can savor the nuances of each Austrian inflection -- are the finest expressions of Schwarzeneggerhetoric ever committed to celluloid. These are... 

The Best Arnold Schwarzenegger One-Liners of All-Time

15) From "The Running Man" (1987) before -- and after! -- killing a man with a flamethrower:

14) From "Last Action Hero" (1993), playing Hamlet:

13) From "True Lies" (1994), after knocking out a pair of attack dogs:

12) From "Total Recall" (1990), after severing a man's arms in an elevator shaft:

11) From "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (1991), after swearing not to kill anyone:

This article is related to: Arnold Schwarzenegger


E-Mail Updates