Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
A.O. Scott on Why the New York Times Changed Its Review Policy A.O. Scott on Why the New York Times Changed Its Review Policy The New York Times Is No Longer Reviewing Every Movie That Opens in New York The New York Times Is No Longer Reviewing Every Movie That Opens in New York The Top-Rated Movies of 2015 So Far: Literary Stories and New Genre Favorites The Top-Rated Movies of 2015 So Far: Literary Stories and New Genre Favorites The Mary Sue Freezes Out 'Game of Thrones' to Protest Yet Another Rape Scene The Mary Sue Freezes Out 'Game of Thrones' to Protest Yet Another Rape Scene First Cannes Reviews: Todd Haynes' "Carol" First Cannes Reviews: Todd Haynes' "Carol" How Did Nicole Kidman's 'Grace of Monaco' Go From Cannes Opener to Lifetime Movie? The Movie's Writer Tweets All How Did Nicole Kidman's 'Grace of Monaco' Go From Cannes Opener to Lifetime Movie? The Movie's Writer Tweets All Watch the Documentary That Explains Why Don Draper Ended Up Meditating in California in the 'Mad Men' Finale Watch the Documentary That Explains Why Don Draper Ended Up Meditating in California in the 'Mad Men' Finale First Cannes Reviews: Pixar's "Inside Out" First Cannes Reviews: Pixar's "Inside Out" Debating Mad Men's Finale, 'Person to Person': What Does That Ending Mean? Debating Mad Men's Finale, 'Person to Person': What Does That Ending Mean? Daily Reads: 'Game of Thrones' Has Always Been About Rape, Superhero Movies Rewrite 9/11, and More Daily Reads: 'Game of Thrones' Has Always Been About Rape, Superhero Movies Rewrite 9/11, and More The Children's Book from 'The Babadook' Will Terrify You in the Real World The Children's Book from 'The Babadook' Will Terrify You in the Real World Daily Reads: The Secret History of Ultimate Marvel, Why Your Favorite TV Show Was Cancelled, and More Daily Reads: The Secret History of Ultimate Marvel, Why Your Favorite TV Show Was Cancelled, and More Nathan Rabin Leaves The Dissolve Nathan Rabin Leaves The Dissolve First Cannes Reviews of Yorgos Lanthimos' 'The Lobster,' With Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz First Cannes Reviews of Yorgos Lanthimos' 'The Lobster,' With Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz The Totally Insane Ending to 'Little Boy' Has Critics Fuming The Totally Insane Ending to 'Little Boy' Has Critics Fuming First Reviews of 'Mad Max: Fury Road' First Reviews of 'Mad Max: Fury Road' Daily Reads: 'Mad Men' and the Coke Jingle Theory, George Miller's Post-Nuclear Families, and More Daily Reads: 'Mad Men' and the Coke Jingle Theory, George Miller's Post-Nuclear Families, and More 'Age of Ultron's 'Black Widow Problem' Isn't a Problem: It's What the Movie Is About 'Age of Ultron's 'Black Widow Problem' Isn't a Problem: It's What the Movie Is About Brave Grown Man Stands Up to 9-Year-Old 'Age of Ultron' Critic Brave Grown Man Stands Up to 9-Year-Old 'Age of Ultron' Critic First Reviews: Gus Van Sant's 'The Sea of Trees' Is Cannes' First Stinker First Reviews: Gus Van Sant's 'The Sea of Trees' Is Cannes' First Stinker

Vulture Bids Good Riddance to the Worst Movies of 2013

Photo of Sam Adams By Sam Adams | Criticwire December 31, 2013 at 1:24PM

Vulture's Critics Poll picks the worst of the worst.
13
Robert DeNiro in 'The Big Wedding'
Robert DeNiro in 'The Big Wedding'

As 2013 fades into the record books, Vulture takes a moment to remember the movies we won't miss with its annual worst-of poll. The results have a lot of by-now familiar faces, but the individual ballots are great fun to peruse, especially those with comments, where critics take their parting shots at some of their least-loved. (I know I enjoyed my own kiss-offs to Don Jon and Prisoners.) Here are just a few:

Ali Arikan, RogerEbert.com, Dipnot.tv

Movie 43. It's not funny; it's not iconoclastic; it's not juvenile. Instead, it is a cynical artifice, like a dildo with a Mickey Mouse face at its business end. Come to think of it, Movie 43 could have used a Mickey Mouse dildo or two ...

David Fear, Nashville Scene

Epic. Maybe the post–Toy Story animated-movie renaissance has inflated our expectations, and we now expect a certain standard re: storytelling, characterization, sophistication, appealing to young and old, etc. But in a year of mondo crap-animation features (The Croods, Planes, Turbo), no long-form toon felt more like demographic pandering and cynical corporate buck-mongering than this hodgepodge of stock fantasy elements, lame comic relief, celebrity-voice miscasting, and generic moralizing than this Fox joint. Or, for that matter, made you feel so unclean that you needed to take a Silkwood shower afterward. 

Ed Gonzales, Slant

Blue Caprice. A superficial depiction of the Beltway sniper attacks, racist in its portentous style and denial of moral complexity.

Michael Koresky, Reverse Shot:

Only God Forgives: Oedipal "themes," Kubrickian pomposity, and a script that sounds like it was written by your annoying 12-year-old cousin who just started watching R-rated movies. More abject garbage from contemporary cinema's biggest trash peddler with delusions of grandeur.

Carrie Rickey, CarrieRickey.com

Spring Breakers. My 17-year-old daughter said it best: "Pedophile porn."

Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald

Grown Ups 2. Opened with a deer peeing on Adam Sandler and went downhill from there. You know you're in trouble when Taylor Lautner is the funniest member of an all-star cast of comedians, and he's only in the movie for five minutes.

Alynda Wheat, People

Frances Ha. Somehow, the irrepressible charm of the least-capable mammal in New York was lost on me. I dig Greta Gerwig, but Frances Ha is little more than an explication of how good it is to be blonde and cute when one lacks talent, focus, maturity, drive, accountability, problem-solving skills and an innate sense of self-preservation.

Vulture's Worst Movies of 2013

1. A Good Day to Die Hard

2. Grown-Ups 2

3. Movie 43

4. The Big Wedding

5. After Earth

6. The Lone Ranger

7. Only God Forgives

8. Oz the Great and Powerful

9. The Counselor

10. The Internship

This article is related to: Best of 2013


E-Mail Updates



Check out Indiewire on LockerDome on LockerDome