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Criticwire

Elizabeth Banks Hangs Her Head Low After "Walk of Shame"

  • May 2, 2014 3:53 PM
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  • 1 Comment
That Elizabeth Banks movie about post-sex they didn't screen for critics? Turns out it's not very good.

Valentine's Day Massacre: The Worst Reviews of This Week's New Movies

  • By Sam Adams
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  • February 14, 2014 3:54 PM
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  • 1 Comment
Lots of would-be romances opening this weekend, but you're better off staying in bed.

Those Awkward Reviews: Critics Disclose Their Uncomfortable Feelings for 'That Awkward Moment'

  • By Steve Greene
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  • January 31, 2014 9:49 AM
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  • 2 Comments
"Who doesn’t want to live in a universe where Efron and Teller problem-solve peeing with an erection by lying stomach-down on the john?"

Fifty Shades of Pie: The Crustiest Takedowns of the Less-Than-Peachy 'Labor Day'

  • By Sam Adams
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  • January 30, 2014 12:35 PM
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  • 1 Comment
Want to savage the Kate Winslet/Josh Brolin romance's heavy-handed symbolism? Use some of your own.

Who Doesn't Love 'Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas'? Nearly Everyone

  • By Sam Adams
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  • December 13, 2013 4:31 PM
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  • 0 Comments
Critics are never fond of Tyler Perry, but they really hate 'A Madea Christmas'

'CBGB' Makes Critics Want to Vomit

  • By Steve Greene
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  • October 11, 2013 1:02 PM
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  • 4 Comments
"Punk didn’t give a flying unprintable noun what you did or did not get."

Barbed Wire: 'Getaway'

  • By Steve Greene
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  • August 29, 2013 3:28 PM
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  • 0 Comments
"You can tell how restless he is by the fact that he wears a hat for a lot of the beginning of the movie. Nothing says a movie star has given up like wearing a hat."

Barbed Wire: 'Planes'

  • By Steve Greene
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  • August 9, 2013 1:59 PM
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  • 0 Comments
"I assure you, we won't try anything new. Nothing."

Barbed Wire: 'The Smurfs 2'

  • By Steve Greene
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  • July 31, 2013 12:12 PM
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  • 0 Comments
What in the name of Oogieloves has happened? Not since the "Big Balloon Adventure" has there been a mainstream children's movie that's inspired this level of bafflement. (Hard to remember the last time a review of a PG-rated movie alluded to "The Last Temptation of Christ," either.) Whether mind-bendingly mediocre or frustratingly sequel-safe, the new movie adaptation featuring the little blue guys has inspired a cacophony of reviews ranging from tepid to downright angry. Bad news: barring an unforeseen level of audience apathy, we're heading for a "Smurfs 3." Good news: if these writers keep their knives sharpened, we'll have more entertaining dispatches like those below from critics who generously see it on our behalf. Because, as the prophetic URL for this movie's official website lets us know, "Smurf happens."

Barbed Wire: 'R.I.P.D.'

  • By Steve Greene
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  • July 19, 2013 12:56 PM
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  • 0 Comments
RIPD, Ryan Reynolds
"A half-hour into the film, and it feels like the eighth day of jury duty."