Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
Studio Cancels All Screenings of 'No Good Deed' to Preserve Shocking Twist That It's Probably Terrible Studio Cancels All Screenings of 'No Good Deed' to Preserve Shocking Twist That It's Probably Terrible 'No Good Deed' Reviews: And the Twist Is That It's Good! (Not Really) 'No Good Deed' Reviews: And the Twist Is That It's Good! (Not Really) 'The Cobbler' Reviews: 'Makes Me Want to Upgrade Everything I've Ever Seen Half a Star' 'The Cobbler' Reviews: 'Makes Me Want to Upgrade Everything I've Ever Seen Half a Star' Comparing Lena Dunham to Woody Allen Is Unfair — to Lena Dunham Comparing Lena Dunham to Woody Allen Is Unfair — to Lena Dunham 'The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them': 'Between Just Enough and a Bit Too Much' 'The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them': 'Between Just Enough and a Bit Too Much' Daily Reads: The Death of Adulthood, the Future of Film in 'Snowpiercer' and More Daily Reads: The Death of Adulthood, the Future of Film in 'Snowpiercer' and More Why the Unanimous Praise for 'Boyhood' Is Bad for Film Criticism — and for 'Boyhood' Why the Unanimous Praise for 'Boyhood' Is Bad for Film Criticism — and for 'Boyhood' 'While We're Young': Noah Baumbach's Xer-Millennial Comedy Ponders the Difference Between Sharing People's Lives and Stealing Them 'While We're Young': Noah Baumbach's Xer-Millennial Comedy Ponders the Difference Between Sharing People's Lives and Stealing Them 'Phoenix' Reviews: A Postwar-set Masterwork By Way of 'Vertigo' 'Phoenix' Reviews: A Postwar-set Masterwork By Way of 'Vertigo' Criticwire Classic of the Week: Federico Fellini's '8 1/2' Criticwire Classic of the Week: Federico Fellini's '8 1/2' 'The Duke of Burgundy': With Butterflies and BDSM, a Kinky Romance Woos Critics 'The Duke of Burgundy': With Butterflies and BDSM, a Kinky Romance Woos Critics The Availability Gap: What We Lose When Netflix Wins The Availability Gap: What We Lose When Netflix Wins Kevin Smith Is OK With Critics Now Kevin Smith Is OK With Critics Now 'The Expendables 3' Torrent and the Techno-Utopian Delusion 'The Expendables 3' Torrent and the Techno-Utopian Delusion Did 'Edge of Tomorrow' Just Get a New Title for Home Video? Did 'Edge of Tomorrow' Just Get a New Title for Home Video? 'The Maze Runner' First Reviews: Once More Around the Dystopian YA Block 'The Maze Runner' First Reviews: Once More Around the Dystopian YA Block Daily Reads: Why Toronto Is the Best Place for Female Filmmakers, In Praise of Fincher's Women and More Daily Reads: Why Toronto Is the Best Place for Female Filmmakers, In Praise of Fincher's Women and More 'The Counselor's Extended Cut Is Inspired Madness 'The Counselor's Extended Cut Is Inspired Madness Daily Reads: The Disgusting But Important 'Wetlands,' Comic Book Movies That Thankfully Never Happened and More Daily Reads: The Disgusting But Important 'Wetlands,' Comic Book Movies That Thankfully Never Happened and More Whit Stillman's Paris-set Amazon Pilot, 'The Cosmopolitans,' Plays Like a More Self-Absorbed 'Girls' Whit Stillman's Paris-set Amazon Pilot, 'The Cosmopolitans,' Plays Like a More Self-Absorbed 'Girls'

The Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week for Friday, June 1st

Criticwire By Matt Singer | Criticwire June 1, 2012 at 10:05AM

In the first installment of a new recurring feature, we celebrate the worst comment on the Internet this week.
5
"Snow White and the Huntsman."
"Snow White and the Huntsman."

As part of its ongoing effort to catalog the rapid debasement of the English language, Criticwire created the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week Award, bestowed upon one remarkable web denizen for their outstanding achievement in the field of crazy. As always, the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week has not been edited in any way. Someone actually wrote this. No, seriously.

The Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week for Friday, June 1st:

"Matt"
Commenting on Brad Brevet's review of "Snow White and the Huntsman":

a "D"? seriously?

I read a comment on imdb SWATH board before and now read ur review. I think what he said is true:

"Competitors studios having to sell their bad products want to bring down this excellent top-notch movie that is on par with Lord Of The Rings trilogy with updated CGI and cinematography for sure.
It's just beyond disgusting to see very good products being bashed for no real reason other than greedy studios managers liars and thieves.
When they got some good products to sell the bash-the-movie and bring-it-down campaigns just start, in favour of worse movies that have to be sold thru massive brainwashing marketing campaigns at any cost.

Critics get paid to write their reviews and if competitors pay more the reviews get bad.
It's as simple as that.
Deciding to see a movie based on what critics say is just plain wrong.
Reviews are fake and can't be trusted. People should just go and see the movie.
But Hollywood studios managers mafia gangs unfortunately know very well how nowadays people react to reviews and ratings, just like you.
That is the reason why they tamper with everything in order to please their goals.
Critics reviews are a real disgrace, they are part of the game of managers. their dirty business battle in the industry. And unfortunately many excellent products like this movie suffer from all of this because the trick manages to affect people judgement like yours, you don't think with your brain, you let them think for you."

Congratulations, Matt! For suggesting that Hollywood studios pay critics to pan their rivals' movies, calling "Snow White and the Hunstman" an "excellent top-notch movie" before you actually saw it, and casually using the phrase "Hollywood studios managers mafia gangs" like that's actually a thing, you are the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week.  Keep up the great work.

To nominate someone for the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week Award, email the link to matt@indiewire.com.

This article is related to: Snow White and the Huntsman, Internet Commenters, Funniest Internet Commenter


E-Mail Updates