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The Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week for Friday, June 1st

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by Matt Singer
June 1, 2012 10:05 AM
5 Comments
  • |
"Snow White and the Huntsman."
"Snow White and the Huntsman."

As part of its ongoing effort to catalog the rapid debasement of the English language, Criticwire created the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week Award, bestowed upon one remarkable web denizen for their outstanding achievement in the field of crazy. As always, the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week has not been edited in any way. Someone actually wrote this. No, seriously.

The Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week for Friday, June 1st:

"Matt"
Commenting on Brad Brevet's review of "Snow White and the Huntsman":

a "D"? seriously?

I read a comment on imdb SWATH board before and now read ur review. I think what he said is true:

"Competitors studios having to sell their bad products want to bring down this excellent top-notch movie that is on par with Lord Of The Rings trilogy with updated CGI and cinematography for sure.
It's just beyond disgusting to see very good products being bashed for no real reason other than greedy studios managers liars and thieves.
When they got some good products to sell the bash-the-movie and bring-it-down campaigns just start, in favour of worse movies that have to be sold thru massive brainwashing marketing campaigns at any cost.

Critics get paid to write their reviews and if competitors pay more the reviews get bad.
It's as simple as that.
Deciding to see a movie based on what critics say is just plain wrong.
Reviews are fake and can't be trusted. People should just go and see the movie.
But Hollywood studios managers mafia gangs unfortunately know very well how nowadays people react to reviews and ratings, just like you.
That is the reason why they tamper with everything in order to please their goals.
Critics reviews are a real disgrace, they are part of the game of managers. their dirty business battle in the industry. And unfortunately many excellent products like this movie suffer from all of this because the trick manages to affect people judgement like yours, you don't think with your brain, you let them think for you."

Congratulations, Matt! For suggesting that Hollywood studios pay critics to pan their rivals' movies, calling "Snow White and the Hunstman" an "excellent top-notch movie" before you actually saw it, and casually using the phrase "Hollywood studios managers mafia gangs" like that's actually a thing, you are the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week.  Keep up the great work.

To nominate someone for the Funniest Internet Commenter of the Week Award, email the link to matt@indiewire.com.

5 Comments

  • Rohan | June 4, 2012 12:06 PMReply

    I find the comment above funny; I enjoy my time on IndieWire.Com as it is one of the good sites. I also enjoy almost all of the blogs here even though I disagree with some of the writers here. The funny comment above has a point though. Some of the critics actually ruin the expectations. I know this that people can avoid reading reviews before the film. But, still some critics critique a film and since a review is based on the point of view of that critic/writer it changes the expectations. If the review is positive that's good and there is no problem with that, but if the review is negative and the film turns out to be good is not good for cinegoers. I have to agree with David Fincher, who stated last year during December that he prefers not to screen his films to the critics. This was in regards to the David Denby issue.

  • AAAutin | June 1, 2012 8:15 PMReply

    Well, well, isn't this a smug little venture?

  • Mike McGranaghan | June 1, 2012 2:19 PMReply

    Last year, there was a guy who posted similar (but longer) rants on Rotten Tomatoes for every positive review of Paranormal Activity 3. His arguement was the opposite, though. He thought studios paid critics to give good reviews, and that it was part of a massive conspiracy to defraud the public. I briefly engaged him in conversation, assuring him that neither I nor any colleagues that I was aware of had ever been paid by a studio for a good review. He responded that we were part of the conspiracy and therefore could not be counted on to be truthful.

  • Jason Keith Hembree | June 1, 2012 12:25 PMReply

    Did the commenter get paid to write that in response, or is he suffering from paranoid delusions? The poor guy may need to skip Snow White and the Huntsman and spend his ticket money on professional help...waitaminute, why is there a guy in a suit at my door? He's holding a copy of Lars Von Trier's Antichrist and a gun! Nevermind, it's all true!

  • john lichman | June 1, 2012 10:13 AMReply

    proposed new feature: storify zodiac motherfucker's thoughts on the weekly releases. will own every other commenter ever.

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