But I gotta say -- and maybe this is because I went to the gym for an hour in the middle of the show -- I actually kind of enjoyed this year's Golden Globes. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were hilarious hosts (when they were on, which sadly wasn't much after their opening monologue). Jodie Foster's curious acceptance speech of her lifetime achievement award nearly broke Twitter and will surely fuel countless thinkpieces. Best of all, Tommy Lee Jones not laughing at Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig's jokes about his movie 'Hope Springs' was perhaps the funniest single image in the history of television. I will treasure that always and forever.
As for the awards themselves, there were some pleasant surprises, especially if you were an "Argo" fan. The film won Best Picture (Drama) and Best Director -- an interesting twist in this awards season after Ben Affleck's snub last week by the Academy Awards. On the "Musical or Comedy" side of things, "Les Miserables" took home Best Picture. There's a Russell Crowe joke in there somewhere, but I'll let you make it yourself.
Quentin Tarantino topped favorite Tony Kushner for Best Screenplay, and Christoph Waltz brought "Django Unchained" a second trophy with his win for Best Supporting Actor. Hugh Jackman ("Les Miserables") and Jennifer Lawrence ("Silver Linings Playbook") won the Best Actor and Actress awards in the Musical or Comedy category, while Daniel Day-Lewis ("Lincoln") and Jessica Chastain ("Zero Dark Thirty") won on the dramatic side of things. Most gave good acceptance speeches too -- Jackman was charmingly elated, Lawrence hilariously snarky ("Thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today," she told distributor Harvey Weinstein), Day-Lewis typically erudite, and Chastain movingly moved.
Here's the full list of film winners from tonight's Golden Globes:
Best Picture - Drama: "Argo"
Best Picture - Musical or Comedy: "Les Miserables"
Best Director: Ben Affleck, "Argo"
Best Actor - Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Lincoln"
Best Actress - Drama: Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"
Best Actor - Musical or Comedy: Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"
Best Actress - Musical or Comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"
Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"
Best Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino, "Django Unchained"
Best Animated Film: "Brave"
Best Foreign Language Film: "Amour"
Best Original Song: "Skyfall" from "Skyfall"
Best Original Score: Mychael Danna, "Life of Pi"
And if you care -- and why would you?!? -- here are the TV awards too:
Best Series - Musical or Comedy: "Girls"
Best Series - Drama: "Homeland"
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture: "Game Change"
Best Actor - Drama: Damian Lewis, "Homeland"
Best Actress - Musical or Comedy: Lena Dunham, "Girls"
Best Actor - Musical or Comedy: Don Cheadle, "House of Lies"
Best Actress - Drama: Claire Danes, "Homeland"
Best Actor - Mini-Series or Motion Picture: Kevin Costner, "Hatfields & McCoys"
Best Actress - Mini-Series or Motion Picture: Julianne Moore, "Game Change"
Best Supporting Actress: Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey"
Best Supporting Actor: Ed Harris, "Game Change"
To the HFPA: bring back Tina Fey and Amy Poehler next year! And now bring on the Oscars next month.
What was your favorite moment of the Golden Globes? Tell us in the comments section below.