Years ago the Florida Film Festival set up the next ten years of Spring festival dates based on avoiding any conflicts with both Easter Sunday and the incredibly popular (and established) Winter Park Art Festival. So I got a huge chuckle out of this item in the Sports section of Tuesday's Orlando Sentinel:

Soccer bigger than porn? Apparently so. Over the weekend, something called the International Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona was held in, uh, Madrid. It had drawn as many as 50,000 in previous years but only attracted about 15,000 this time. And the director blamed the poor turnout on Spain's victories in Euro 2008, saying, "Football is one of the few things that can compete with sex."

We've all heard that expression before: "(blank) is better than sex"--now there's proof. Or maybe it's because it was only a film festival and not the act itself. But if you ever needed evidence of how important soccer is in other parts of the world, this tells it like it is. Congrats to Spain for their first title in over four decades (loved the winning goal that beat Germany!), and my condolences to the festival director.

--Matthew

Oh, shut up! Anyone else out there see that photo of the little kid holding up the sign during the Boston Celtics victory parade? How goddamn spoiled have Boston sports fans become in this decade alone? Three Patriots Super Bowls, two Red Sox World Series sweeps, and now a Celtics beat-down of the should-be-embarrassed Lakers. A whole new generation of New England children have barely even experienced the agony of defeat (thanks Eli and the Giants), and will have no concept what it means to have your dreams crushed as a devoted fan, over and over again, from one season to the next.

While I'm thankful not to be a Cubs fan, the track record for my favorite teams in all four major sports is an ugly one: Chicago Blackhawks - last won the Stanley Cup in 1960-61, before I was even a fan (I was only 3 at the time), and have lost in the finals four times since; Orlando Magic - swept by the Houston Rockets in 1995, their only finals appearance to date; Minnesota Vikings - Ugh! four (count 'em, four) Super Bowl losses in the 1970s, no victories, and haven't made it back since; and my Minnesota Twins - World Series champs in 1987 and 1991, but it has been 17 years now (and counting...)

So if you hear any New Englanders whining about their Bruins or college teams, just smack 'em. The problem for the rest of us is the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox all look like title contenders for years to come...unfortunately.

--Matthew

Two sterling examples of sportsmanship and decency in the sports world late (and very late) Monday night--well, maybe not. In typical NY Mets fashion, they waited until 3:15 AM Eastern Time to drop the axe on manager Willie Randolph. It's not that Randolph didn't deserve it after guiding the talent-laden team with the highest payroll in the National League to barely a .500 record and being at the helm of one of the greatest collapses in baseball history the last couple of weeks of last year when they let the Phillies catch them for the NL East crown and a playoff berth. But to have him fly 3000 miles across country to start their road trip and can him after defeating a good LA Angels club and winning 3 out of the last 4, that's pretty pathetic.

Apparently team owner Fred Wilpon was passing the buck and saying it was all GM Omar Minaya's fault, and Minaya was nowhere to be found when the press release was issued in the dead of night. Willie was a great Yankee and a class guy but clearly not able to get the most out of his Mets players, especially in a season where Johan Santana was added to that lineup of All-Stars. His dismissal had been rumored for weeks, but it's hard to believe the Mets did it this way. My sister Jolie bleeds orange and blue and is a diehard fan--for her sake, I hope this change helps them get their shit together and start playing like they're capable of.

And how about that surly SOB coach of the Florida State Seminoles baseball team? Beaten by their arch-rivals, the Miami Hurricanes, 7 - 5 in an elimination game at the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska, his defeated team and the Miami players lined up in a classy gesture to shake hands after the final out was made. Miami Coach Jim Morris also went out to home plate to participate in this ritual of good sportsmanship. Except that FSU Coach Mike Martin stayed in the dugout, turned his back, and walked away. Way to set an example for the kids you moron! While I feel bad for your players over the years, I can't say I'm not just a bit amused that in 14 or so visits to the College World Series, FSU has never taken home the crown. In the immortal words of Alex Chilton and Big Star, "you get what you deserve." Of course, that may mean the cellar for the Mets.

--Matthew

Don't look now, but the Tampa Bay (formerly Devil) Rays have the best record in baseball. This is not a joke. Apparently the team banished Satan in the offseason and a whole bunch of their talented young players have started to gel at the same time. Kind of reminds me of the Twins way back in '87 when they put it all together, going from the worst record in the American League all the way to the World Series Championship. Excellent starting pitching and productive potential All-stars like BJ Upton, Carl Crawford, Carlos Pena, and rookie sensation Evan Longoria have this team at 31 - 20, 11 games over .500 for the first time ever. In fact, Tampa Bay is only the second team in MLB history and the first in over a century (joining the 1903 New York Giants) to have the best record on Memorial Day after finishing with the worst record in the league the previous season (66 - 96). Be sure to check out the great comic book/Bizarro-world cover of the new issue of Sports Illustrated that totally gets this extraordinary development in the AL East thus far.

So what does all this do for drawing local fans? Apparently nothing, as they barely broke a pathetic 12,000 people in the stands for a holiday game. Perhaps it's that dump of a domed stadium with the catwalks in the outfield ("The Trop") in that bad location, or perhaps there's not enough baseball fans in the Bay area who think this team can actually compete in a division with the Red Sox (still really good) and Yankees (obviously having problems but still have to reckoned with over the long haul). All I know is the team has won 16 of their last 17 home games, and they seem to have it all working right now. I'm just happy someone's giving Boston a run for their money. Now let's see them keep it up, and maybe locals will start paying attention. Go Rays!

--Matthew

Stick a fork in 'em--they're toast. The Orlando Magic ended their season Tuesday night with an ugly barrage of turnovers and missed free throws, losing in the second round of the playoffs in 5 games to the way-more- experienced Detroit Pistons. And boy did it show! Despite winning the rebounding, 3-point shooting, and field-goal percentage battles (usually a sure sign of victory), their ridiculous 21 turnovers (to a record only 3 for Detroit) and 57% foul shooting (compared to the Pistons' 88%) spelled their doom. As hard as it was to watch, including a nearly 10 minute stretch in the 3rd and 4th quarters where the Magic didn't have one stinking basket, they kept battling back and once again sent the game down to the wire. But it was their inability to execute and make a big play in the waning seconds that cost them 3 of their 4 losses. Hopefully they'll grow from this experience and maybe even have a legit (and healthy) power forward to add to the mix next year.

Now let's all pray that Boston and LA don't meet up in the finals, because if they do I'll have no one to root for. I can't stand either of those franchises, so please--somebody pull off an upset. In the meantime, I think there's a baseball season that's underway and my beloved Twins are surprisingly in 1st place in the suddenly mediocre AL Central. I know...it's early, and the cream will likely rise to the top eventually (I'm thinking Cleveland, not Detroit at this point). But they're in it and that's all I can ask after losing Johan and Torii.

--Matthew

Orlando Magic superstar big man Dwight Howard is ready to go. The 22-year-old all-star center just finished a season for the ages, yet he's an afterthought in all the sports talk discussions of the league MVP this year. All Dwight did was average 21 points and 14+ rebounds a game, becoming the youngest person in NBA history to lead the league in rebounding. He also now has over 4000 rebounds in his first four years in the league, the first player to do so since the under-appreciated Buck Williams more than 20 years ago. Dwight also led the league in double-doubles (69) and ferocious jams (269), and carried his team to their best record (52 - 30) since 1996.

The Magic finished third in the Eastern Conference behind the record-setting Celtics (greatest turnaround ever after a suck season--amazing what being handed Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen can do to a franchise) and powerful and consistent Pistons, and will need to earn some respect by winning a playoff series or two. Sunday starts their journey with a home opener against the very talented but sixth-seeded Chris Bosh and his Toronto Raptors. Dwight needs to dominate in the paint (and make his free throws), Turk and Rashard need to carry the rest of the offense, and the barely serviceable group of guards need to hit their 3's and take care of the ball. This should be fun--let's say the Magic in 6.

--Matthew

I'm sure my posting this will be the kiss of death for the Houston Rockets' ridiculous 22-game winning streak as they face the mighty Boston Celtics tonight, but you have to give major props for what they're doing these past few weeks. When Yao Ming went down for the season after the streak had reached 12, everyone figured that was that--no way Tracy McGrady and a bunch of no names could keep it going or make any noise in the playoffs. Still not sure what's going to happen in the post-season (and T-Mac is infamous for his teams never getting out of the first round), but the Rockets have been phenomenal in extending the streak at least 10 more games, making it the second longest in NBA history. And 5 of the top 6 winning streaks in league history have been accomplished by the eventual NBA champion.

Rick Adelman is coaching his ass off, the defense has been unbelievable, and even though McGrady's scoring is actually down, the role players like Rafer Alston and Shane Battier have stepped up bigtime. During the streak the team has never trailed entering the 4th quarter, and they've won 14 of the 22 games by double digits. There are 5 teams in the league who, combined, have not won 22 games since Houston started this improbable run in late January.

By no means am I a Houston Rockets fan. In fact, I've disliked the franchise immensely since they swept the Magic in the NBA Finals over a decade ago and then stole T-Mac in a trade for bums like Steve Francis and Kelvin Kato a few years after that. But if you're a basketball fan, you can't help but shake your head and appreciate this unlikeliest of scenarios. Going from 10th place to 1st in the ultra-tough Western Conference without losing a single game is an astonishing achievement, any way you slice it. I am impressed, interested, and paying attention.

--Matthew

Is it really true? As a lifelong Vikings fan, I couldn't help but feel a little giddy at the big breaking news of the day as reported on ESPN's "Mike & Mike" radio show Tuesday morning--Green Bay Packers legendary QB Brett Favre has finally decided to hang it up. Though it was recently reported that Favre had said he was willing to come back for another couple of years if the Packers signed free agent receiver Randy Moss (who just last night signed a 3-year deal to go back to the New England Patriots), today he apparently told the team he was simply worn out, both mentally and physically, and he's "just tired"--isn't that timing a bit of a coincidence?

So after an amazing (and surprising) 2007 in which he broke Dan Marino's career records for most touchdown passes and most yards passing, and John Elway's record for most career victories by a starting quarterback, the man who's completed more passes than anyone in history will let that last throw--an interception in the NFC Championship game that set up the NY Giants' winning field goal--stand as his final toss. Or will he?

The three-time MVP and 1997 Super Bowl champion has started every game since taking over as the Packers starting QB in 1992 . Until this whole off-season passes and I see Aaron Rogers lining up behind center in the first regular season game of 2008 at Lambeau Field, I remain skeptical about life without Brett in the NFC North. And I certainly won't be shedding any tears if it really is the end of an era. He's broken the hearts of Minnesota fans way too many times over the past 16 years.

--Matthew

The complete and utter domination of the sports universe by Boston teams over all comers took a huge hit last week, much to the delight of New Yorkers everywhere. Beginning with the Orlando Magic's buzzer beater victory over the mighty Celtics (courtesy of a Hedo Turkoglu jumper with Paul Pierce in his face) last Sunday, the upsets continued during the week with the Mets ending up with Twins ace Johan Santana instead of the Red Sox (though Boston fans had to be happy the Yankees didn't get him). And the of course the biggest shocker of them all--the Giants stunning victory over the seemingly invincible 18 - 0 Patriots in Super Bowl 42, one of the greatest upsets in sports history. The G-men did exactly what they had to do--eat up the clock, harass and pressure Brady all day (5 sacks certainly helped), and come up with two incredibly clutch 4th quarter drives to snatch victory away from the poised to be perfect Patriots. What a game! Maybe it still doesn't make up for the Yankees choke losing four straight to the Red Sox on the way to their first World Series in 80 years (or whatever it was), but it helps balance the recent scales just a little bit in the best city rivalry in sports.

The commercials weren't bad either, but taken as a whole maybe not as interesting as in years past. I did however, love the E-Trade ads with the dubbed baby at the computer talking about trading stocks into the webcam. The first one had the spit-up punchline and the second one had the "creepy" clown in the background--classic. And you had to laugh at the smarmy Will Ferrel SEMI-PRO basketball player--all you can say is "Bud Light--Suck One!"

--Matthew

Once Twins two-time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana--called "the best pitcher of this century" by ESPN baseball guru Peter Gammons--turned down Minnesota's 4 year/$80 million dollar contract extension, the writing was on the wall. The Twins had to trade him or risk getting nothing in return once his contract expired at the end of next season. And already having lost Gold Glove centerfielder Torii Hunter and veteran pitcher Carlos Silva to free agency this off season, their hand was forced. The Yankees and the Red Sox both offered packages weeks ago including a stud starting centerfielder and/or starting pitcher plus excellent minor league prospects, but the Twins held out for more, thinking NY and Boston would up their offers to trump their bitter rival and keep such a great pitcher from joining the other ballclub.

So what happened? The two AL East powers took their deals off the table and never made the Twins an offer they couldn't refuse, so now Minnesota is stuck with a deal with the NY Mets for four prospects--one outfielder and three pitchers, only two of which have had any major league experience whatsoever. Not only didn't Minny get what they were looking for in any deal for Santana (an immediate replacement in the already thin starting rotation and a replacement for Torii), they couldn't even get the Mets to give up their top outfiled prospect, Fernando Martinez. For Johan Friggin' Santana!?! Are you kidding me? No Jacoby Ellsbury, no Jon Lester, no Philip Hughes, and no Melky Cabrera. Just four prospects. Ugh! That's some nice job by the Twins new GM, Bill Smith. That should excite the fans as you get ready to move into a brand new stadium in a couple of years. Maybe you can go ahead and lose ace closer Joe Nathan while you're at it.

About the best thing I can say about this whole mess is that at least Boston didn't end up with him (which would have been kind of like the Celtics getting KG), and my sister Jolie, a die-hard Mets fan who suffered greatly at the end of last season, should be a very happy woman. Now let's see if Santana passes the physical and the Mets agree to a 6 or 7 year deal at $20 - $25 million per.

--Matthew

Read 'em and weep Central Florida sports fans. As previously mentioned in this forum (and surpassed perhaps by only the sheer stupidity represented by the ongoing Brighthouse Cable/FSN pissing contest causing the blackout of half of the Orlando Magic games), it's the end of the road for 740 The Team AM radio as a sports station. Saturday afternoon's broadcast of the Liberty Bowl game between UCF (Univ. of Central Florida) and Mississipi State will be the station's final sporting event, soon to be replaced by Clear Channel's Spanish language "La Preciosa" format. Isn't that just great? Can you feel the love? No more Jim Rome, Dan Patrick, JT the Brick, Andrew Siciliano, Tampa Bay Bucs games (which surely have to be moving somewhere up or down the dial, don't they?), and who knows what else.

As of tomorrow night the Orlando market, supposedly one of the top 30 in the country, will have just one 24-hour sports-talk radio station (1080 AM, WHOO). And you can't even pick up the signal at night in large portions of the Metro Orlando area. No wonder why the Magic broadcasts situation and the elimination of 740 The Team ranked # 1 & 2 in today's Orlando Sentinel listing of the top 10 sports-media stories (read: lows) of 2007. Happy new year and a giant middle finger to all local sports fans from Clear Channel and our cable provider.

--Matthew

What a nice week for professional sports, and recent developments in Orlando are just icing on the cake. Michael Vick gets sentenced to 23 months in prison for bankrolling a dogfighting operation on his own property and executing a few "losers" along the way. The first year coach of the Atlanta Falcons, former college reputed offensive genius Bobby Petrino, quits his NFL team with 3 games left in the season to take the head coaching job at Arkansas--was it that important that he be there for their bowl game appearance? And today former Sen. George Mitchell revealed the results of baseball's multi-million dollar investigation into steroid use over the last decade plus, naming over 80 players (which sounds like a lot but is still only 1 - 2% of all players during that time period, far below Canseco's estimates) including Bonds (of course), Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Miguel Tejada, Eric Gagne, and Paul LoDuca. Curiously Mitchell--who's on the board of the Boston Red Sox--named no currrent Red Sox players in his report. Can you say conflict of interest?

Anyway, Central Florida seems to be doing its part to add to these frustrating developments (besides the Magic's horrendous play of late and the fact that half their games are still not televised to over 850,000 Brighthouse cable customers in Orlando). It was recently revealed that one of our two sports-talk radio stations, WQTM 740 "The Team," will be changing to a Spanish format beginning next month. A couple of their programs, Dan Sileo and "The Finish Line" with Jerry O'Neill and The Shot Doctor, will be moving down the AM dial to 540 WFLA. But 540 won't be offering a 24-hour sorts talk format which means this market will no longer get nationally syndicated hosts like Dan Patrick, Jim Rome, and J.T. The Brick. It also means that the only sports-talk station in town will be ESPN radio on WHOO 1080 AM, which has such a weak signal that I can't even pick it up at night in my car or at home. Clear Channel Communications strikes again--way to go!

--Matthew

By the time you read this, Johan Santana could be a member of the Boston Red Sox. I can't believe it's gotten to this point, but I guess it's inevitable when a superstar finds himself on a "smaller market" team with an expiring contract. The Minnesota Twins did offer their two-time Cy Young Award-winning ace pitcher a 4-year extension after 2008 worth $80 million (making it $93 mill for the next 5 years in other words), but perhaps the best starting pitcher in baseball knows he can probably get up to $25 million for 5 or 6 years from Boston, NY, or California.

Perhaps the fact that free agent All-Star centerfielder Torii Hunter--a 7-time Gold Glove winner and the face of the franchise for over a decade--left over Thanksgiving to sign with the Angels for more years and more bucks didn't help any. But you would think with a brand new stadium on the way and Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer and Rookie of the Year runner-up Delmon Young (who just came over in a trade with Tampa for promising young pitcher Matt Garza) on the team, that would be enough for Santana to stay put.

But not signing the extension is a clear sign that he's not interested in staying in Minnesota, so the Twins have no choice but to get something in return for him now. I'd much rather have him go to the Yankees so the Twins could get Philip Hughes and Melky Cabrera in return (and other than New Englanders and "Red Sox Nation," who the hell wants Boston to have a one-two punch of Santana and Beckett?), but the Boss' idiotic son, Hank, talked tough and tried to give the Twins a Monday midnight deadline to make a deal--what a moron! So now Minnesota will probably end up sending him to the Yankees' arch rival, who have already won two World Series in the last four years. Can you say dynasty?

All I can hope is that the Twins better get a young starter (Lester or Bucholz), Jacob Ellsbury and not Coco Crisp (he of the great name and pathetic bat), and another hot prospect in the deal. Whether or not they can still compete in the tough AL Central without Torii, Johan, and maybe ace closer Joe Nathan (also in the final year of his contract) remains to be seen. I hate the word "rebuilding."

--Matthew

On the first night of a back-to-back Texas road trip through San Antonio and Houston on Tuesday, Los Angeles Laker Head Coach Phil Jackson had this to say at the post-game press conference after experiencing yet another beatdown at the hands of the league's best team (and I paraphrase): "That's what we call a BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN game, with lots of penetration and kick outs..." (followed by nervous laughter from the reporters and a smile from Phil knowing he made a funny) Are you kidding me!? Did that really come out of this most liberal and enlightened coach's mouth?

When he was called on it the next day, he said it was clearly a joke that was blown out of proportion by ESPN and the media. He then apologized to the state of Texas, cowboys, and their horses (?) Way to go, Phil. A class act all the way. We're still waiting for you to prove you can win something without having at least the two greatest players on the planet on your team at the same time (see Jordan/Pippen Bulls, Shaq/Kobe Lakers).

--Matthew

The first week of the NBA season has gone by and the majority of Central Florida has not been able to watch the Orlando Magic, our only pro sports franchise, play their first three games of the year. In a situation that truly defies logic and defines absurdity, the Magic (in their infinite wisdom) sold the rights to almost half their games (including 14 of the first 18) to Fox Sports Network (FSN) Florida--a channel not carried by Bright House, the area's largest cable provider servicing 850,000 customers. Seeems the ball club misjudged the situation just a bit, and thought that Bright House would get right on it and add FSN to their basic cable service, where the sports channel is carried by everyone else in Florida and virtually nationwide. But this is Orlando, and the cable company doesn't want to absorb the extra cost (like they don't charge enough already?), and only want to add FSN in a premium digital sports tier with an extra charge to subscribers. Can you say stalemate?

Since this has been going on since the summer when the Magic pulled their games from UPN-65, why the hell should we expect any progress? The whole thing is ridiculous and frustrating as hell, though it does leave me more time to preview festival submissions (a small silver lining to the stinkin' mess). I can only hope that all of these idiots end up feeling it in their pocketbooks--FSN gets no money since they're still not in Orlando and sponsors know there's only a fraction of the viewership for games that there should be; Bright House loses thousands of customers (myself included any day now) to Dish or Direct TV since they actually do carry FSN; and the Magic piss off their fan base and sponsors cause nobody can see their damn team play ball. Only in Orlando...

--Matthew

My older brother, Jeff, and I spent one night in Denver decades ago on a cross country moving trip from Augusta, Georgia to San Francisco. It happened to be during the theatrical run of the first ALIEN film, and we saw it from the balcony of this amazing giant theater whose name I no longer remember. Needless to say, I loved the film and was really impressed by the little I got to see of the city. Just from that one experience so many years ago, or perhaps all the wonderful trips to Telluride in the 1980's, I've always had a fondness for Colorado. But jeez, this past weekend for Denver residents and Colorado sports fans had to be a particularly special brand of hell.

Saturday and Sunday the Red Sox polished off their 4-game sweep of the suddenly woeful Colorado Rockies. Once the hottest team in baseball on one of the greatest streaks in regular season and post-season history, the Rockies were as pathetic as they come. The 8-day layoff in between the NL Championship Series (where they swept Arizona) and the World Series (not to mention a far superior Boston club in every single category clicking on all cylinders) was their death knell. They hit like crap (when's the last time you saw that many strikeouts from a good-hitting team?), didn't pitch much better, and were only competitive in two of the four games. They had the lead for a total of 3 1/2 innings over four games. When they did rally to get close, the bullpen would turn right around in the next inning and give it all back. I'm not even a fan (hell, there's more ex-Twins on the Red Sox), but I was certainly rooting for them against Boston. And they were dominated from the first pitch to the last--how frustrating was that?

To add insult to injury, the Green Bay Packers played the (once-invincible-at-home) Denver Broncos (now 3-4) at Mile High Stadium on Monday Night Football. While the Broncos seemed poise to score a touchdown at the end of regulation and win the game, they instead had to settle for a game-tying field goal as the clock ran out. So of course the Packers won the coin flip to get the ball first in sudden death overtime, and all Brett Favre did was throw an 82-yard touchdown pass on the first play from scrimmage. Game over. Are you kidding me?

If you know anyone from Denver who went to all 3 of these games, be nice to them--they've suffered enough. Maybe the Nuggets or the Avalanche will be pretty good this year...

--Matthew

Now that the dust has settled on this Joe Torre thing and Tony LaRussa will not be the next manager of the NY Yankees (he re-upped for 2 years with the Cards today), let's take a step back and look at the situation. Torre is a definite Hall of Fame skipper, having brought stability and class to a Yankees franchise that went to the playoffs 12 straight years, including 6 AL Championships and 4 World Series victories. But...he hadn't won a World Series for the last 7 years and even more damaging, had been eliminated in the first round of the playoffs for 3 straight years. And for the biggest payroll in baseball by a long shot (including the highest paid manager), this simply could not go on--especially with the hated Red Sox looking like the best team in baseball.

Granted, the Yankee "braintrust" should've never let Torre twist in the wind like that for a week and a half after the season ended while they figured out how to make him an offer they knew he'd refuse. If they didn't truly want him back, they should've let him go immediately or let him bow out gracefully. That was pretty bush league, and The Boss and his sons didn't make many new friends with the way it was handled. As for the offer itself, I see no problem with it and felt it to be more than fair (though Torre's pride was clearly hurt and the "insult" of performance clauses apparently stung deep): 1 year for $5 million base pay ($2 mil less than his current salary but still the highest in baseball by a bunch), with $1 million bonuses for making the playoffs (uh, you think?), reaching the AL Championship, and reaching the World Series. So potentially he could earn $8 mil while making at least 6. Plus, if the Yanks made the Series, Torre would automatically be renewed for a second year in 2009 if he wanted to stick around.

Joe can't control how the team executes on the field, how the hitters hit, how the pitchers pitch, and what injuries occur throughout the season. But he is The Manager of the most famous franchise in sports. And ultimately the responsibility for success or failure does fall on his shoulders. Let's see if another owner will pay that kind of dough for the 67-year-old to be the skipper of their baseball team, or perhaps he'll be happier making less somewhere else with his pride intact.

--Matthew

Just how good are these guys? A mere month ago the Colorado Rockies were buried in last place in their mediocre division, barely hovering over the .500 mark. Since then they have been unstoppable, putting together one of the greatest and most unbelievable winning streaks in the history of baseball. After being just one pitch away from being eliminated from the playoffs late in the season, the team has reeled off a mind-boggling 21 wins in the last 22 games. This includes a Wild Card tiebreaker play-in game against the Padres, and series sweeps against both the Phillies and the Diamondbacks. They are the first NL team to go 7 - 0 to open the playoffs since The Big Red Machine, the 1976 Cincinatti Reds team that had one Hall of Famer after another and is considered one of the greatest teams of all time.

They're doing it with one potential MVP candidate (Matt Holliday), timely hitting, great defense, excellent pitching, and a bunch of guys most sports fans have never heard of (besides Todd Helton, who's been there forever and finally gets a shot at the World Series). Every game there seems to be a different hero, and this team doesn't beat themselves. They now have a record 8 days off until the Series begins, and whether it's the Tribe or the Bosox, you've got to be nuts if you consider Colorado the underdog--which of course they will be since the AL team has the extra home game and is always the favorite lately. But I wouldn't bet against them...these guys have some scary mojo workin' overtime.

--Matthew

Answer: When the team hasn't won a title in the past seven years. The Yankees are officially done, having been put out to pasture by a more talented, balanced, and overall superior Cleveland Indians club. Cleveland dominated the 4-game series in virtually every department--they hit nearly 100 points higher, their bullpen was much better, and the advantage in run-scoring hits with 2 outs was overwhelming (14 - 2) and a sure sign of the Tribe's consistently clutch hitting (and NY's lack of it). New York's heart of the lineup (2 -6, Jeter through Matsui) on the other hand, couldn't even hit .200. Meanwhile, the Yankees #1 starter, Chien-Ming Wang, was atrocious, lasting only an inning and a third in a must-win Game 4 contest after getting knocked around in the opener and taking the loss in Game 1. The 2006 Cy Young runner-up's ERA for this year's playoffs: 19.06! Ouch.

So George's team has now lost 13 of their last 17 playoff games. Their starting pitchers are 2 - 8 in those games with an ERA close to 7.00, and have lasted an average of less than five innings. You're not gonna win shit that way--no wonder they've had early exits to the Angels, Tigers, and now Indians in the last three years since they had that legendary collapse against the Red Sox in 2004. But does Joe Torre deserve to be fired? I don't think so.

Torre has had an amazing 12-year run as Manager of the Yankees. Every season he's taken them to the playoffs, six times to the World Series while winning four championships. Twice he's been voted Manager of the Year, and it's possible he'll even get it again this year after guiding the team to the Wild Card (and almost catching Boston) after an horrendous 21 - 29 start to the season. He cannot make the pitches and he cannot get the clutch hits any more. What he can do is use his wisdom and experience and calm to blend their promising young players with the veterans that deserve to stick around. A-Rod, Giambi, Clemens, Mussina, maybe even Jorge and Mariano may be retired or elsewhere next year--Joe should be in the dugout guiding the Yankees or he should step away and not give Steinbrenner the satisfaction of making good on his threat. And if that happens, will we be looking at Tony LaRussa in pinstripes?

--Matthew

I must state right off the bat that while I root for the Mets in the National League, I probably wouldn't qualify as a true fan. Yes, I'd cheer them on in the playoffs against anyone besides the Twins or the Yankees (although I might be a bit torn if they were facing the Cubbies with a World Series berth at stake considering Chicago's track record), but do I get emotionally involved in their trials and tribulations--not so much. Especially when they've been sitting comfortably in first place for the majority of the last two years and have the best collection of talent in the NL. Still, my Oregon-based younger sister bleeds orange and blue and is the biggest Met fan I know, not to mention I picked the Mets and Phillies to finish 1 & 2 (in that order) in my annual baseball pool.

So I cannot believe what has transpired in the last couple of weeks. Simply (and sadly) put, one of the worst collapses and choke jobs in Major League history. The Mets blew a 7 game lead with 17 games to go by losing 12 and managing to win only 5. They actually hit OK (except when Pedro pitched well), but their starting pitching and bullpen sucked. Of all people, Tom Glavine, a sure Hall-of-Famer when he retires and one of the greatest starting pitchers of our generation, gave up 7 runs in 1/3 of an inning in the top of the first to the Florida Marlins at Shea Stadium in the most important (and final regular season) game of the year. The Mets needed a win to guarantee at least a play-in game against the resurgent Phillies, or if Philly lost, they could've won the division outright. Instead they'll be sitting at home during the post-season, scratching their heads and wondering what could've (and should've) been.

Sorry Jolie--your team is finally better than the Braves and now you have to go through this disappointment. There's only one thing left to do...Go Cubs and Go Yankees!

--Matthew

Tuesday night was another banner night for milestones in Major League Baseball, with one likely (AL) MVP doing his damage in a losing cause and one possible (NL) MVP bringing his team ever closer to a division title. Congratulations to Prince Fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers for becoming the youngest player ever to hit 50 home runs in a season (and the youngest since Willie Mays did it back in 1955!) His two blasts against the Cardinals helped reduce the Cubbies' lead in the division to 2 games with 5 to go--Chicago's on the road and the Brew Crew is at home, so who knows what can happen. And Fielder just keeps cranking along, now with 50 HRs and 119 RBI while hitting a very respectable .291 for a power hitter. Whether or not that's good enough to earn him a National League MVP award may depend on what happens the rest of this week. But even if they finish 2nd, he's got to be in the running with those stats. Now if he could just bury the hatchet with his estranged dad, former All-Star Cecil Fielder--that whole situation is just sad, really sad.

Back around these parts, A-Rod was hitting yet another Grand Slam to put the Yankees up 5-0 in the 3rd on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays with NY only needing one win or Detroit loss to guarantee themselves a playoff spot (so it's only a matter of time). But those pesky Rays (read:spoilers, see Washington Nationals also) roughed up the Yankee bullpen and put up a 6-spot in the sixth inning, and ended up winning it on a walk-off homer in 10th. A shocking turn of events, giving the Red Sox a 3-game division lead with 5 to play--perhaps Boston fans can finally exhale. Despite the loss, Alex Rodriguez keeps doing his thing, which will surely earn him the AL MVP at season's end. The man now has 53 HRs and 151 RBI and is hitting .311, unbelievable stats that will only be diminished if he flames out in the playoffs. Those numbers (at least 50 home runs and 150+ RBI) put him in a highly exclusive club with only 3 other players in baseball history: Sammy Sosa (in 1998 and 2001, more than likely with a little help from science don't you think?), JImmie Foxx in the 1930s (twice), and Babe Ruth in the 1920s (3 times!). Rarified air indeed.

--Matthew

Is Mike Mussina done? The NY Yankees starting pitcher and one of the stars of Patrick Creadon's terrific crossword puzzle doc, WORDPLAY, got rocked on Monday night as the Bronx Bombers suffered their worst shutout road loss ever to the Detroit Tigers, 16 - 0. "The Moose," long one of the brightest pitchers in the major leagues and a class act for 17 seasons, suffered career firsts (and lows) in lasting just three innings or less for the second straight game and allowing at least six earned runs in three straight starts. In those three starts his ERA is 17.69 (!), and he's now giving up an average of over 5 1/2 runs per game for the season. It could be a slump or it could be the end. Torre has got to get him out of the starting rotation regardless.

This is not any way for the Yankees to get back in the division race--in fact, if they don't sweep the Red Sox in NYC over the next three days, their only hope will be the Wild Card. And don't bet on that the way Seattle, Cleveland, and Detroit are playing down the stretch. Will they be playing "Taps" or "New York, New York" in the house that Ruth built? It's not lookin' real good...

--Matthew

For those of you on the East Coast who go to bed at a reasonable hour and don't wait up for late baseball finals, Wednesday morning ESPN brought highlights of some historic doings in the LA Angels 18-9 (!) thrashing of the NY Yankees (who play particularly bad in Anaheim and have a losing record against the Halos in the Joe Torre era). Garret Anderson, the Angels' 34-year-old outfielder supposedly on the downside of a nice career, went 4 for 6 with 2 HRs and 2 doubles for a club-record total of 10 RBIs in the first six innings. Though it had been done 12 times before in MLB history (and coincidentally, 12 is the one game RBI record--accomplished twice in the NL), no one had ever achieved the feat against the Yankees.

Perhaps lost in the shuffle of remarkable accomplishments, Alex Rodriguez also hit 2 HRs (giving him 42) and drove in 3 runs (giving him 121 RBIs). This makes A-Rod the only other player in MLB history besides Babe Ruth with six seasons of 40+ homers and 120+ RBIs. And there's still six weeks left in the season! We may just be watching the greatest baseball player who ever lived.

--Matthew

Overheard during the broadcast of the Vikings/Jets NFL preseason game this past weekend (in reference to a botched, low snap from Center to QB in the shotgun formation that led to a defensive TD):

Troy Aikman: "Hard to get it up when you're looking between your legs."
Joe Buck(suppressing a spit take): "Elbows down, ball goes up--we need to move on."

(Cow)boys will be boys...who says the exhibition season is worthless?

--Matthew

Sad news from the world of baseball on Tuesday--NY Yankees mainstay Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto, the oldest living member of the Hall of Fame, passed away in his sleep after a lengthy illness at the age of 89. Growing up in New York and New Jersey in the sixties, Rizzuto's voice was baseball to me--in much the same way that Marv Albert was basketball and hockey as the broadcast voice of the Knicks and Rangers. I must have spent more time listening to his witticisms, hokey jokes, anecdotes, trademark "Holy Cow" exclamation, and (of course) those ubiquitous "Money Store" lending company commercials on WPIX - Channel 11 and radio than I'd care to calculate.

The diminutive shortstop (5' 6")--who had been told by his hometown Brooklyn Dodgers that he was too small to play for their team--had an amazing run as a New York Yankee on the field and in the booth for over 50 years. In his 13-year playing career (interrupted by a 3-year stint in the armed forces during WW II), he was a five-time All Star, won the World Series a remarkable seven times, and was the American League MVP in 1950 after finishing second in the voting to Ted Williams the year before. Number 10 followed his playing days with 40 years in the broadcast booth covering the Yankees, and in the process put a smile on everyone's face who was listening. Who knows how many people like myself fell in love with the sport as a child by hearing it filtered through the wit and wisdom of "The Scooter."

Rest in Peace Phil Rizzuto (1917 - 2007).

--Matthew

But this week's "Sign of the Apocalypse" crossed my TV screen in the early afternoon prior to my July 4 barbeque activities. You may think I'm referring to ESPN's incredibly tongue-in-cheek coverage (complete with mock gravitas) of the 91st Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, with American upstart Joey Chestnut defeating six-time champion Takeru Kobayashi by "gurgitating" a record 66 dogs in 12 minutes--ugh! Or the repeated slow-mo replays of Kobayashi's "reversal of fortune" (puking, as it's known on the professional competitive eating circuit) above the "spray zone" where all the judges and cameramen are lined up in front of the stage below the contestants--much grosser but probably more entertaining than a Gallagher performance. Or even ESPN's comparisons between the end of Kobayashi's reign of dominance to the end of assorted sports dynasties throughout history, though these were probably prepared with tongue planted firmly in cheek as well.

Nope, I refer to an ad during the hot dog eating contest for the "U.S. Rock, Scissor, Paper Championship" on ESPN 2 this Saturday night at 9 PM. I shit you not. I don't believe this is a goof, but rather ESPN filling its airtime on its vast empire of channels with anything and everything (kind of like the old days 25 years ago). I guess once they found out there's an audience out there that'll watch people sitting and playing cards (not to mention wolfing down weiners and sawing through logs), anything is fair game. Maybe they'll start televising the Air Guitar competitions also...we can only hope.

--Matthew

The Florida Gators made history again during last night's NBA Draft. With the "Big 3" (Al Horford, Corey Brewer and Joakim Noah) all taken within the first nine picks of the draft, the two-time NCAA college hoops champion Gators set a record for the fastest ever that three players from the same team got selected by teams in the lottery. Prior to last night, 3 in the top 11(Indiana in 1976 w/ Scott May, Quinn Buckner, and Bob Wilkerson--who?) was the benchmark. One would think the Florida 3 would have a more impressive pro run than those Hoosiers, but who knows? Regardless, it's a tremendous achievement that deserves congratulations, especially since all these guys stayed in school an extra year when they could've turned pro in 2006. Noah would've certainly been picked higher than 9th (perhaps even 1st!), but the other two benefitted bigtime.

Add to the fact that two other Gators from their top 6 players, point guard Taurean Green and reserve power forward Chris Richard (a player I wanted the Magic to take with their only second round pick had he been available), were chosen by Minnesota and Portland in the second round and that makes five players from one team out of 60 total selections in the draft--incredible! Too bad the coach didn't go pro also...

Meanwhile, despite eight trades that went down during the course of the draft, Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett went nowhere. The higher profile players that will have a new address next year include Ray Allen, Jason Richardson, and Zach Randolph, but all the hullaballoo about Kobe and KG moving leading up to the draft amounted to squat. Will the Bulls gut the roster to get the best player in the game? Will KG end up running with the greyhounds in Phoenix and getting them over the hump (something I'd personally love to see)? Stay tuned...free agency starts Sunday, too!

--Matthew

So it seems Kobe Bryant has himself a case of the "Billy Donovans." After demanding a trade from the Lakers weeks ago in frustration over the team's early exit from the playoffs, he met with Coach (Zenmaster) Phil Jackson and owner Dr. Jerry Buss and cooled down and changed his mind. But quicker than you can say from the Magic to the Gators, he has done a 180 and is back in the news demanding to be moved to another team once more.

Supporting his position (and the buzz of sports talk radio today) is the supposed existence of a 24 second video clip (I haven't seen it) in which the scoring champ goes off on a profanity-laced tirade. Apparently prompted by the Lakers not pulling the trigger on a deal for Jason Kidd during the season (since they didn't want to part with promising 19-year-old center Andrew Bynum), Kobe's feelings about GM Mitch Kupchak are not so nice to say the least.

The Lakers will never get equal value for their superstar; no team ever does. Take it from a Magic fan who's watched Shaq, Penny, and T-Mac all split town with little if nothing to show for it. But it sure would be fun to see the tables turned on LA for a change--of course, I'm not still bitter about the sleazy way they ended up with Shaq ten years ago.

By the way, a minor league baseball team (in Ft. Myers, FL I believe) ran a promotion recently called "Billy Donovan Day." Fans who changed their minds and decided not to stay for the whole game could plead their case to a lawyer by the concession stands and get their money back. Brilliant!

--Matthew

Q: Which pathetic situation lasted longer, Paris Hilton's stay in jail or Billy Donovan's term as the 9th Head Coach of the Orlando Magic?

A: If you guessed Billy the Kid(der), the flip-flopper, the liar, then you are correct! It seems the once-again Gator coach was officially let out of his $27.5 million signed contract last night or early this morning, giving us a total of just about 6 days at the helm. Rumor has it that Paris was going to be let out of jail today (having served a whole 3 days of her 23 day sentence for violating probation) based on the recommendation of her psychiatrist that she was headed for a nervous breakdown--gee, we wouldn't want that now, would we? Living with roommates, eating institutional food, and sleeping with no pillow shouldn't be forced on anyone, even richer-than-God party girls and socialite Reality TV "actresses" who cut insipid pop/dance LP's.

Besides that five year non-compete clause that Billy agreed to (yeah, right--like another NBA team is going to take a chance on this guy), maybe proper penance should be to make him listen to Paris' CD all day like those unfortunate Starbucks employees that had nothing but the new McCartney (which isn't that bad) in the playstack on Tuesday. But there really should be some sizable penalty for what he did to this franchise, just like there's no reason that Paris Hilton shouldn't have served her full 3 week sentence (already reduced from 45 days) like every other (not so privileged) person in similar circumstances. I want justice dammit!

--Matthew

Once again the "Curse of the Shaquino" has reared its ugly head. Ever since the Orlando Magic let Shaq leave town 11 years ago, it's been one disaster after another, and the current Billy Donovan situation is just icing on the proverbial misery cake. Other than winning the draft lottery 3 times in their franchise history, Magic fans have been taking it on the chin for a while now and the hits just keep on coming: Shaq bolts for LA and Orlando gets nothing in return; Grant Hill's litany of injuries and demon ankle allow him to play maybe two decent years out of the seven he's been here; they keep Bo Outlaw and let Ben Wallace go to Detroit instead; they hire a hockey guy (John Weisbrod) to run the franchise (are you kidding me!?) and instead runs