More Signs of the Apocalypse

by Matthew Curtis
August 25, 2006 4:59 AM
1 Comment
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Of course it was inevitable that some idiot would release some snakes at a screening of SNAKES ON A PLANE, though authorities in Phoenix are now saying it was a hoax and the rattler in the theater was a stray--yeah, right! Either way it makes you think that William Castle could have had a field day with this movie.

How about the St. Louis man who was cooking a burger on his George Foreman grill and claims to have seen an image of the Virgin Mary in the grease collected in the plastic drip pan? Perhaps he was using the special "religious icons" model for that little something extra as your meat gets heated.

In even more absurd (yet certifiable) burger news, the Gateway Grizzlies--a Frontier League baseball team in Saget, Illinois--have been selling "Baseball's Best Burger" for $4.50. What makes it the best? It's a sharp cheddar cheeseburger topped with two slices of bacon, but instead of a bun they use a split Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut . Maybe they also give out Lipitor at the concession stand.

Is this a great country or what?

--Matthew

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1 Comment

  • Brian Feldman | August 25, 2006 6:23 AMReply

    William Castle would have shot "Snakes on a Plane" in SerpentVision™!

    Perhaps the St. Louis man was doing some baking as well.

    And I was just about to say that those Grizzlies were real ballpark epicurean trailblazers, until I read that this 1,000 calorie and 45 grams of fat burger is actually based on a Decatur, Georgia creation - the Luther Burger?! Named after Luther Vandross!

    http://texasburgerguy.blogspot.com/2005/05/luther-burger-and-hamdog-pictures.html

    I've actually just devised my own hypothetical vegan version of "The Luther," which I shall dub "The Curtis" in honor/fault of the person here who started me on the road to (financial) ruin. Though it still clocks in at 495 cal and 24g of fat, I think I'll make one today in honor of "Idlewild" finally opening. (Then again, "Beerfest" and "How to Eat Fried Worms" also open today.)