Waiting for Woody (to exit)

by Matthew Curtis
June 30, 2006 4:59 AM
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Not to make light of a medical condition that apparently is common enough to make drug companies grotesquely rich in providing a remedy, but you know that TV commercial with the rushed disclaimer of side efffects including how having an erection for four hours or more might prompt one to go see a doctor? I'm sure that's been the inspiration for many a witty comment or comic bit of business. Well, check out this recent story from The Associated Press:

10-Year Erection Nets Ex-Handyman $400,000

A former handyman from Rhode Island has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection. Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel-and-plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex and then lower it. But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse, his lawyer said. Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said.

Insert (sorry) pun here. Geez, it's like something out of a Twilight Zone episode. How long (sorry again), if ever, did that thing work properly? And who (or what!) broke it? May we all avoid a similar fate in our journey through middle age.

--Matthew

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