After reading about the producers of the "The Island" blaming Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson for not being big enough stars to carry their box office flop, I thought, this is so ridiculous it could be an Onion article. Director Michael Bay has also been playing the blame game, stating numerous reasons why the film failed while ignoring the obvious. This week, The Onion offers an "op ed" piece from Bay himself as he questions why a "glorified Discovery Channel rerun" written by "a bunch of birds" is the big summer hit instead of "The Island":

"I've been a major Hollywood director for a long time, and I thought I'd seen it all. But I can't help wondering what's happening to the entertainment industry—indeed, to our entire society. Where are our standards? Our values? For fuck's sake—our cultural priorities? I simply cannot accept that 'March Of The Penguins' is the big summer hit everybody's talking about. Hello?"

"I think we can all agree that the penguins in this film gave some pretty wooden performances. In many scenes, it was impossible to tell them apart. Maybe if they'd moved the camera once in a while, I could have gotten more emotionally invested in what was going on. For Christ's sake, there was not a single crane shot in the whole movie!"

Read the entire Onion article here.