I Can’t Believe I Watched That
(A continuing series on films from my childhood that I discovered on Netflix Watch Now)
*batteries not included
Directed by Matthew Robbins
In which: Embattled tenants (Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Elizabeth Peña, Frank McRea and Dennis Boutsikari) are aided by flying, mechanical, toy-sized, alien robots in a fight for their home against an evil real estate developer his Eighties stereotype gang-banging henchmen.
I Can’t Believe They Made That! A writer and a director walk into a studio meeting to pitch a movie about flying robot aliens. “Great,” the studio exec thinks, “We can do plenty of toy tie ins with that. Not to mention the video game possibilities and think about all the corporate sponsorship with a character that only speaks in catch phrases.” The pitch starts. The exec listens. “Ok, cute aliens. Not a problem. We aim for family friendly. Nintendo Wii instead of X-box. I can live with that,” he thinks. He asks who they want to star, maybe the Rock? “No,” the writer says. “The film is a Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy vehicle.” The exec can hear the international sales numbers cracking through floorboards as they drop. The writer adds, “And the romantic subplot is between a starving artist and an unmarried, pregnant woman.” The exec buzzes his assistant. “Why did I take this meeting?” “Spielberg is EP’ing” the assistant replies. Green Light!
Honestly, there’s a an amazing level of talent behind this movie. Cronyn and Tandy themselves bring over a century’s worth of experience; then mix in a little Spielberg along with longtime producing partners Kathleen Kennedy & Frank Marshall; and top it off with a young Brad Bird? It’s a good mix. That said the film seems to play better in my memory then in re-viewing. Yes, it’s a heartwarming tale of a bunch of little guys, families reunited, and the sweet realization that the person you’ve never spoken to who lives next door may be your soulmate. It’s also rather slow and not all that much happens. Even the villains are caricatures of caricatures who spend most of the movie being scared off by the flashing lights of the robot aliens.
But then again everything in the movie is something of a caricature so really, maybe that’s not the point. Instead, we ought to listen to Frank McRae spout catchphrases and wonder if he’s ever going to say, “It takes a lickin’ but keeps on tickin’.”
What the critics said then:
’‘NO, they’re not toys. You can’t buy these things at Macy’s!’’ cries one of the characters in ‘‘Batteries Not Included,’’ describing the dinner-plate-size flying saucers that are the film’s real stars. But even if the merchandise isn’t readily at hand, toys are very much on the minds of all concerned, since everything in the film has been designed in toymaker’s terms. That includes the human characters, who are adults only in the way an 8-year-old might imagine them. Children may enjoy this, but their adult escorts will have a harder time.- Janet Maslin, NY Times
“In Europe, the prevailing mood — at least among those with access to the news media — seemed to be that Mr. Polanski has already “atoned for the sins of his young years,” as Jacek Bromski, the chief of the Polish Filmmakers Association, put it. We disagree strongly, and we were glad to see other prominent Europeans beginning to point out that this case has nothing to do with Mr. Polanski’s work or his age. It is about an adult preying on a child. Mr. Polanski pleaded guilty to that crime and must account for it.” - The NY Times
2) I agree with Jon Stewart on the Democratic super majority.
3) I agree with Bill Mechanic on the state of the film industry (and chose my favorite paragraph from this must read).
”[T]he independent world, which should be aiming to do things better and different from the Studios, doesn’t have that as a mandate at all. If anything, the only thing that independent distributors and financiers look for is the SAME. Maybe costing a little less than the Majors, but they want what the Studios want, or in “Fight Club” speak, they want copies of a copy.”
In 1991 we had Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze featuring a Vanilla Ice cameo where he transforms “Go, White Boy, Go, White Boy, go” into “Go, Ninja, Go, Ninja, Go.” The next year Quentin Tarantino burst onto the scene with Reservoir Dogs. Now, finally a new mashup answers the age old question: What would have happened if Quentin Tarantino was tapped to turn Reservoir Dogs into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie?
1) I don’t know what to think about the big Indie Film Summit that was held last week. In reading all the round ups, I felt like I was re-reading much of what has been said over and over again over the past year. Personally, I think you need to kill the word “Independent.” It’s become such a broad and all encompassing term it really has no useful definition any more while at the same time it carries with it the unhelpful and outdated framework that creates divisions that no longer apply to the film marketplace.
I Can’t Believe I Watched That
(A continuing series on films from my childhood that I discovered on Netflix Watch Now)
Spies Like Us
Directed by John Landis
In which: Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd join an unnamed US intelligence agency only to be sent out into the field as decoys as part of a conspiracy to test a Stars Wars style missile defense shield, and in the process save the whole world. Also, Chevy Chase hooks up with Dan Aykroyd’s future ex-wife.
Won’t you gentlemen have a pepsi? In re-watching what was a classic movie from my childhood I realized two things. First, this movie holds up so well that writing about it in a feature entitled “I Can’t Believe I Watched That” seems immoral. Second, the obtuse and inane bureaucrats who send Aykroyd and Chase on their mission are actually funnier than Aykroyd and Chase themselves. Yes, it’s our leads who provide us with the famous “doctor” scene; who dress up like weird space aliens in order to take down highly trained Russian soldiers; and who in the end save the world with a bobby pin. But, it’s Keyes (William Prince) and Ruby (Bruce Davison) who steal the show with their attempts to keep documents classified by trapping a courier in a closet and have to find a secret military bunker below the Ace Tomato Company.
Chevy Chase, who this week makes his (triumphant?) return to television with Community plays Chevy Chase. Aykroyd stretches more, although his character is really a riff on the uber-nerd he always plays (I don’t think it was really until ‘97s Gross Pointe Blank that Aykroyd really got to shine). The rest of the cast does what they need to do: Donna Dixon as a hot spy for Chase to fawn at, Vanessa Angel as the hot woman in her underwear, and Frank Oz as the annoyed Test Monitor. Aside from Prince and Davison, the other real stand out is Steve Forrest as the balls to the walls General who demonstrates a Bush era sense of patriotism. Take the following interaction, which occurs while a Russian nuke is speeding towards Washington after the missile defense shield fails:
Keyes: By your actions, sir, you are risking the future of the human race!
General Sline: To guarantee the American way of life, I’m willing to take that risk.
Dick Cheney couldn’t have said it better himself.
What the critics said then:
‘Spies Like Us,’’ which features Mr. Chase and Mr. Aykroyd and opens today at the RKO National Twin and other theaters, has some enjoyable moments, particularly when its two stars are going through their initial attempts to win the audience over. But it is very much in the oversized, overpriced New Comedy mode. The film is being shown, quite unnecessarily, in 70 millimeter at several theaters, and it has a plot that takes its heroes all over the globe; the last half-hour or so is given over to dull but extravagant action-adventure. There are seeds of something funny in the film’s beginning and in its premise, but they are soon dissipated by so little sustained wit, and so much scenery.r. - Janet Maslin, NY Times
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