A Letter to the Snow Scared

by jaredmoshe
January 12, 2011 12:18 AM
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Dear Residents of the Great City of New York:

Put down that third loaf of bread, five pounds of boars head salami, or extra two jugs of orange juice and take a second to think. There's a whole foot of snow on the way. Your car (if you have one) might be covered by snow. The roads will be icy and undriveable. Well, so what? This is New York City. There's a deli on every corner, a Starbucks or a Subway every twenty feet. And you don't need a car, because you walk everywhere. Or take underground trains to get from one place to another (yes, underground!). Seamless web doesn't stop in the snow! That foot of frozen water that might be wreaking havoc on the road doesn't mean anything to you. Strap on your boots and go clomp out your door. Maybe get into a snowball fight on the sidewalk, build an impromptu snowman, but you're not going to to be trapped for days upon days desperately salivating for the last meager scrap of food. This isn't Rochester! All that extra food you're buying - it's just going to go bad when you end up grabbing a slice of pizza after work. So do yourself a favor. Remember where you live, and put down the 27 yogurt containers. You won't need them.

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