I Can’t Believe I Watched That: *batteries not included

I Can’t Believe I Watched That
(A continuing series on films from my childhood that I discovered on Netflix Watch Now)

*batteries not included
Directed by Matthew Robbins

In which:  Embattled tenants (Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Elizabeth Peña, Frank McRea and Dennis Boutsikari) are aided by flying, mechanical, toy-sized, alien robots in a fight for their home against an evil real estate developer his Eighties stereotype gang-banging henchmen.

I Can’t Believe They Made That!  A writer and a director walk into a studio meeting to pitch a movie about flying robot aliens.  “Great,” the studio exec thinks, “We can do plenty of toy tie ins with that. Not to mention the video game possibilities and think about all the corporate sponsorship with a character that only speaks in catch phrases.”  The pitch starts.  The exec listens.  “Ok, cute aliens.  Not a problem.  We aim for family friendly.  Nintendo Wii instead of X-box.  I can live with that,” he thinks.  He asks who they want to star, maybe the Rock?  “No,” the writer says.  “The film is a Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy vehicle.”  The exec can hear the international sales numbers cracking through floorboards as they drop.  The writer adds, “And the romantic subplot is between a starving artist and an unmarried, pregnant woman.”  The exec buzzes his assistant.  “Why did I take this meeting?”  “Spielberg is EP’ing” the assistant replies.  Green Light! 

Honestly, there’s a an amazing level of talent behind this movie.  Cronyn and Tandy themselves bring over a century’s worth of experience; then mix in a little Spielberg along with longtime producing partners Kathleen Kennedy & Frank Marshall; and top it off with a young Brad Bird?  It’s a good mix.  That said the film seems to play better in my memory then in re-viewing.  Yes, it’s a heartwarming tale of a bunch of little guys, families reunited, and the sweet realization that the person you’ve never spoken to who lives next door may be your soulmate.  It’s also rather slow and not all that much happens. Even the villains are caricatures of caricatures who spend most of the movie being scared off by the flashing lights of the robot aliens. 

But then again everything in the movie is something of a caricature so really, maybe that’s not the point.  Instead, we ought to listen to Frank McRae spout catchphrases and wonder if he’s ever going to say, “It takes a lickin’ but keeps on tickin’.”

What the critics said then: 

’‘NO, they’re not toys. You can’t buy these things at Macy’s!’’ cries one of the characters in ‘‘Batteries Not Included,’’ describing the dinner-plate-size flying saucers that are the film’s real stars. But even if the merchandise isn’t readily at hand, toys are very much on the minds of all concerned, since everything in the film has been designed in toymaker’s terms. That includes the human characters, who are adults only in the way an 8-year-old might imagine them. Children may enjoy this, but their adult escorts will have a harder time.- Janet Maslin, NY Times

jaredmoshe posted to I Can't Believe I Watched That on October 16, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)

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