What does Hasbro have against Paris?

by jaredmoshe
July 7, 2009 7:29 AM
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It seems to have become a sad tradition that whenever there is a Transformers movie in theaters, I spend 2+ hours of 4th of July Weekend watching it. When I sat down at the Kip's Bay Theater on Sunday night (and don't ask me why the hell the film was booked into one of the dinky basement screens instead of one of the giant ones upstairs), the coming attractions treated me to that god awful GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra trailer, which I have to admit on the big screen did play slightly better. It also made me notice the absence of Cobra Commander and the actor who plays him Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Apparently, the studio is holding back his image until the release of the film (also Destro's mask or so I hope). Anyway, I digress. For those who have been smart enough to avoid the trailer and those god-awful, mother-f'ing Delta Six Accelerator Suits, it centers around a Cobra attack on Paris. They shoot some green goo that destroys the Eiffel Tower. Okay. Fine. On to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen where **SPOILERS** about a third of the way into the movie Shia Labeouf's parents get kidnapped while in Paris by Decepticons, who rampage through and destroy the city. Wait, didn't I just see Paris get destroyed in the GI Joe trailer? At least that seems like a centerpiece of a movie. The Transformers scene is utterly purposeless. You forget the parents were even kidnapped until they suddenly reappear in Egypt during the final climax for no good reason. Literally, no good reason! They just run away. So, if you ask me (and I know you didn't, but I'm gonna tell you anyway) the only reason for the whole damn thing is because Hasbro has something against Paris, the filmmakers had to find a way to destroy it and this is what they came up with... Or wait, maybe Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers decided to have a "who can destroy Paris better competition?" I'm not sure, but note to whoever's idea this was: freedom fries are so 2003.


  • Paul Gutman | July 7, 2009 8:49 AMReply

    Don't forget in Team America: World Police, where the dolls destroy Paris in the opening scene. Seems obvious that it's toys in general that hate Paris.

  • Paul Murray | July 7, 2009 8:21 AMReply

    Hasbro was originally a German company -- originally known as Hasbrau -- until post WWII when it was co-opted by America. Clearly, they have maintained some of their anti-Frenchy ways. Don't get me started on those freaking accelerator suits...