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Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Will Ferrell's Balls.

Photo of Eric Kohn By Eric Kohn | Eric Kohn July 22, 2008 at 5:35AM

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Will Ferrell's Balls.


"Okay, so then, Will Ferrell's character gets so mad at his uptight step brother that he threatens to rub his nuts all over the guy's pricey drum set."

"Dude, I'm totally with you. Hilarious."

"And then..get this..he runs upstairs and actually does it!"

"Hah! Yeah...wait, what?"

"Seriously! Let's just get Will to slam his hairy testicles on the tom toms and rub 'em around. Then, we'll cut to a close-up."

"Um, why?"

"Think about it. A decade on from the fleeting shot of Ben Stiller's zipper-ensared nuts in There Something About Mary and we don't need punchlines anymore. Situational humor is dead. Give people something to squirm about and they think it's a joke. You've done your job."

"Well...I suppose enough people thought the penis shots in Forgetting Sarah Marshall were priceless moments of giddy indecency..."

"Yeah! Or they bent over backward trying to explain the deep Freudian significance of Jason Segel's floppy dick."

"So you're saying, if the penis does the job..."

"With balls, you double the fun."

"Judd Apatow, you are a genius."

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