5 Secrets of Mine That The NSA Might Uncover

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by Jon Friedman
June 10, 2013 12:37 PM
2 Comments
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Much has been made of the disclosure that the NSA has been gathering phone records of millions of unsuspecting Americans in an effort to curb worldwide terrorism.

I don't know nothin' about global anything but I can reveal to you know what my and your taxpayer dollars have gone to -- and I hope you will feel a lot safer for it.

But that doesn't mean I am 100% transparent -- as a peek over my phone records indicate.

I have secrets and I hope they don't get out.

Oh, yes, I have secrets. I'm not proud of some of them.

What the heck. The NSA's crack team is going to catch up to me sooner or lter and make me accountable for the following:

-- I bragged excessively about my good luck in obtaining a ticket to see Paul McCartney perform June 8 at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.

-- I pushed a man and a woman out of the way on the 4 subway line to get a seat on the train en route to the concert

-- I gratuitously used the F word a lot.

-- I don't always recycle, especially when I'm in a big hurry.

-- I drink way too much diet Coke, sometimes in those jumbo servings.

There you have it. I'm a horrible person at times. I admit it.The NSA knows.

And this is just scratching the surface.

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2 Comments

  • jg | June 11, 2013 10:18 AMReply

    "Much has been made of the disclosure that the NSA has been gathering phone records of millions of unsuspecting Americans in an effort to curb worldwide terrorism."

    No. That's the excuse. Why they do it is to increase their powers of surveillance. Terrorism is convenient. The US supports terrorists in many nations, as long as they are blowing up the "right" people, and goes to outlandish lengths of hypocrisy to support these people, as in Libya (LIFG) and Syria (Al Nusra) today. Previously the US bombed Serbia to help their Kosovo Liberation Army drug smuggling Jihadis assume power and finish breaking up Yugoslavia. Americans are so ignorant it's a wonder they even care to monitor their empty heads.

  • No | June 10, 2013 1:33 PMReply

    It's very interesting that the US government and its contractors can't defend themselves against cyber intelligences attacks, but can just willfully scoop data about innocent citizens and just store it until further notice. The origins of the National Security Agency was to monitor communications of those hostile to the United States, but it, along with the rest of the National Security apparatus, can't protect the nation from hackers. Very interesting.

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