Hey, home skillet, it's Morgan Freeman here (the one from The Bone Collector, or was it Training Day...or was it Antwone Fisher....?). Wait'll ya get a load of this doodle that can't be undid...the new Diablo Cody screenplay, "leaked," courtesy of the kool kats at Somethiing Awful.

Read more from the leaked screenplay of Diablo Cody's Quotey.

Is this Cody's idea of autocritique?

Hot Topic could make a boatload if they took her works-in-progress and sold them in book form. It would make reading cool again!

In all seriousness, I'm embarrassed just looking at this. It's like some prick middle schooler scanned his classmate's stolen diary.

I'm pretty sure it's a parody, Kermit . . . seeing as how it takes all the criticisms lobbed at Cody and magnified them by 100 percent to the point of sheer absurdity.

Ugh. Just after I posted that, I thought "Quotey... That must be a joke." Now pardon me while I go scrub the egg off my face.

Trust me, Kermie, I wish it were true. I...wish....it...were...true.

Alas, the Oscar is hers.