Hottie of the Week

by robbiefreeling
November 4, 2006 12:18 AM
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Haggard-Ted-3.jpg


Move over Doogie Howser, the unattractive guy from Grey's Anatomy, and Fish Face from N'Sync, a new gay sex symbol has emerged. There's no reason we shouldn't believe Reverend Ted Haggard, head of the rabidly anti-gay Evangelical movement, and seen in the current art-house hit Jesus Camp scolding those with that terrible chromosome affliction, when he says that he DID NOT have sex with that gay hustler who he DID happen to buy crystal meth from. I mean, as Mark Foley recently proved, it's always better to come out as an alcoholic or other related drug addict, than to admit to smoking pole.

Of course, there's also no reason to not call a spade a spade: Reverend Haggard, despite your inflammatory, monstrously hypocritical, vilely self-abnegating stance towards all things queer, you're a pretty sweet piece of ass. That flaxen hair, shimmering with all the sun's rays, those flared nostrils, those angelically straight pearly white chompers, those luscious dew-drop eyes, pools of redemption that they are, those dapper suits barely concealing a tall, broad, lean frame....Instinct cover, here we come. You, sir, get the first ever Reverse Shot Hottie of the Week award.

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