Poster of the Week

by robbiefreeling
January 14, 2010 9:45 AM
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Usually, the pairing of Robert Blake and a weapon wouldn't be a case for chuckles. But this poster for the (unheralded?) 1980 (caper?) film Coast to Coast, directed by that Hollywood workhorse (and The Taking of Pelham 123 director) Joseph Sargent, is just a clear shotgun blast of larfs. Put aside the weird plasticine illustrations of Blake (who looks actually more perturbed here than he ever did on trial) and once-upon-a-time comedy mainstay Dyan Cannon (whose stiff, shiny legs would have one initially assume this was a teaser for Mannequin 3), and just take a look at that tagline: "Either way, he'll get it in the end." It's the most ominous teaser since the title of creepster Joe Brooks's If Ever I See You Again . . . . Let's suss out this mystery, shall we?

Judging by Blake's precarious positioning, I can easily imagine one way Blake might "get it in the end" . . . that would be, to put it delicately, a shotgun blast to the testicles, which would, due to the angle, probably shoot a gaping, bloody hole through his entire body and out through the top of his head.

But this is, apparently, a PG-rated affair. So how else might he "get it in the end"? By falling in between those two massive trucks on the highway and getting squashed like a bug in the road? Still too violent.

Cannon looks mischevious—perhaps her nutsoid behavior (she does seem to be instigating a merry cross-country misadventure) will lead to his demise? That must be what the writers of this poster intended. If he doesn't get a hole blown through his crotch area, he will end up inextricably, sexually linked to Cannon for life, which, in all likelihood, would be tantamount to . . . getting a hole blown through his crotch area. So, to sum it up: Women = Shotgun blasts to the testicles. Huh, this turned out pretty straightforward, actually. Bonnie Lee Bakley might have a different story to tell, though.

P.S.: Babs also almost got it in the end once, too . . . same poster designer?.

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