SNEAK PREVIEW: The Fountain

by clarencecarter
September 14, 2006 8:11 AM
3 Comments
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thefountain.jpg
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHConquistadorsAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MakesRequieumForADreamLookSweetAsShitHAHAHAHAHAHAHADarrenAronofskyHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHTreeOfLifeAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHughJackmanHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARachelWeiszHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAMonkeyBrainsHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHPseudoBuddhistCrapHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHDidIMentionConquistadorsAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAWhew.

It’s late here at the Toronto Film Festival, but before I pass out, I think it bears mentioning that large sections of The Fountain feature a bald and pajama’ed Hugh Jackman lotusing his way through outer space in an intergalactic snow globe that carries the precious tree of life. And that he’ll often levitate out of said snow globe into one of two narratives: a half-hearted conquistador quest for Eden at the behest of the Queen of Spain (Rachel Weisz) and a modern-day medical drama where he’s researching ways to stop brain tumors in monkeys because his wife (also Rachel Weisz), of course, is dying of a tumor. By the end of the film, our hero’s learned the limits of his own abilities as a mortal, the larger interconnectedness of things, and that if one stabs the tree of life and drinks its nectar plants will grow out of your belly and mouth.

And no, I’m not making any of this up. The Fountain is truly one for the ages.

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3 Comments

  • brotherfromanother | September 16, 2006 6:46 AMReply

    hee hee. snow globe.

  • StayPuft | September 14, 2006 10:56 AMReply

    Umm. I haven't seen it yet. But WATCH THE FUCK OUT IS RIGHT! And thanks RobbieFeelings for making me the Aronofsky fall guy...I'll bear that cross anyday.

    Damn I hope it doesn't suck. Come on, baby, come on FOUNTAIN! Listen, there's a very good chance that you hipster critics just can't see past your own slim fit dungarees in the genius of the intergalactic snow globe.

    Whatever it is, it's better than Mutual Appreciation. I haven't seen either and I will make that statement outright. SO BRING IT! BRING IT!!!

  • robbiefreeling | September 14, 2006 4:36 AMReply

    Talk about a fountain...of snark! Aronofsky is one of the most misunderstood talents of our age (and any age!) and to denigrate his masterworks is to denigrate the very fabric of film itself, if not existence, and...ah, who am I kidding? Can't wait to LOL at The Fountain.

    P.S.-Watch out for Staypuft's wrath.