10 Actors Who Shouldn't Do Sex Scenes

by Spout
July 29, 2009 5:40 AM
17 Comments
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Marilyn Manson (Jawbreaker)

Not technically an actor, Marilyn Manson has appeared in a few movies, including as a porn star in David Lynch’s Lost Highway and as Rose McGowan’s lover in Jawbreaker. Seeing him in any film makes us cringe just a little bit, but when he’s got a sleazy mustache and simulating sex we have to avert our eyes completely. Maybe it’s because we’ll never get that penis-tuck photo from the inside of the “Lunchbox” single out of our heads. In addition to never needing to see Manson in film sex scenes, we hope to never see him having sex (simulated or not) in his music videos, either. His onscreen lovemaking with girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood in “Heart Shaped Glasses” is still haunting us. And as long as we’re going after music stars doing sex scenes, we’d like to make an honorable mention of Eminem in 8 Mile. The rapper shows he can act in that film, and we’d like to see him do more work (he’s also in Funny People as himself), just as long as we don’t have to watch him in another sex scene.


Steve Martin (Novocaine, Shopgirl)


In an IFC.com list of 50 Worst Sex Scenes, writer Stephen Saito begins discussion of a scene from Novocaine by writing, “for a whole host of reasons, comedians shouldn’t do serious sex scenes.” It’s the same reason that the Funny People sequence is uncomfortable. And it applies to Steve Martin’s pre-sex scene with a nude Claire Danes in Shopgirl as much as it does his more full-on-banging scene with Helena Bonham Carter in Novocaine. The one reason we’re hoping Martin sticks to schtick like The Pink Panther rather than continuing his evolution into more serious fare is that we’d rather not have to one day see his naked ass thrusting towards some young starlet.

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17 Comments

  • jahangiralam bhuiyan | September 11, 2013 2:40 AMReply

    actors sex

  • ssekiziyivu douglas | December 24, 2012 5:39 AMReply

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  • a | December 2, 2011 8:31 AMReply

    The author is a fucking tool. Like, seriously, how rude.

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  • DoMeInTheShower | September 20, 2011 9:07 AMReply

    I will watch the clip of Stallone fucking over and over and over. That one is hot.

  • Venkatesh | September 3, 2011 5:59 AMReply

    9177887815

  • Grace Burgess | August 17, 2011 11:59 AMReply

    Maybe the Harvey Keitel one would be better
    if we couldn't see his face. And Sylvester Stallone
    one would be better if we couldn't see his butt.
    Such a turn off.

  • Jack B. Nimble | May 21, 2011 5:06 AMReply

    Isaac, first you must know proper English, then know how to spell. I hope you have more 'thunder down under' than you have upstairs!

  • Hambone | May 20, 2011 4:10 AMReply

    Since when does Harvey Keitel have a speech impediment?

  • roddymartindale | May 17, 2011 5:43 AMReply

    So they shouldn't do sex scenes because of a particular association your mind has formed for each of them? And that should be their problem...why?

  • ASFan | May 2, 2011 11:30 AMReply

    Vince Vaughn isn't a pin-up anymore, that's for sure.

  • woodhugger99 | April 29, 2011 6:51 AMReply

    On what basis is Elijah "not a good actor nor a good-looking one"??? I say some citation is needed!!!

  • lsk | April 28, 2011 11:59 AMReply

    I def agree with a lot of that

  • ahmed | November 6, 2010 10:45 AMReply

    Hollowed stars can do any thing to be on what they are being so it not something new

  • isaac | September 7, 2010 9:23 AMReply

    i to be a sex actor and how can i get to contact the movie industy

  • mazenaboadnan | August 8, 2010 11:56 AMReply

    thankyou

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