By Christopher Campbell | Spout February 22, 2011 at 4:57AM
A couple years ago the National Enquirer started a big, Internet-rampaging rumor that Steven Spielberg and Drew Barrymore were talking about doing a sequel to "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial." A source had told the tabloid the following: "Steven and Drew are being very secretive about this baby. But they want to do this project and work together. Steven has an incredible story in mind for the sequel that will bring E.T. back to earth." It turned out to be false, of course, but today we get to see what that baby might have looked like. Well, that is if Spielberg was interested in really ruining everybody's childhood by making "E.T. 2" more like "War of the Worlds" (and the specifically sampled, "Mars Attacks") than the original family-friendly film.
A fake trailer for the imagined 3D follow-up was created by Robert Blankenheim and Derek Johnson Productions. The title is "ET-X: Extinction" and it features some pretty good mashing up of other films starring the grown up Barrymore and Henry Thomas as well as unrelated films starring Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and the Jonas Brothers (as well as a cameo from Barack Obama). Apparently the plot also concerns the kidnapping of Gertie (Barrymore) for an intergalactic arranged marriage? In theory, such a satire of an "E.T." sequel being darker and more violent is a bit too expected and obvious, but Blankenheim did a good enough job with this that it's still quite amusing. Especially the Reese's Pieces scene.
Watch the video after the jump.
If you hate the idea of the sequel being about an invasion, how about the idea of a remake being initially about a robotic, breakdancing, laser-shooting alien who becomes the companion of an awkward 19-year-old? In a very terribly written (or are the misspellings intentional?) piece of satire at RumorMiller [via Fark], Spielberg's beloved movie is reimagined as a "less shity [sic] and less boring" blockbuster from Michael Bay, retitled "ET: The eXtreme Terrestrial." Here's an excerpt:
In Bay's rewrite- ET runs to the action. It is for this reason that the FBI will be recruiting, ET to fight terrorism, but ET just wants to hang with his bro Sam, play games, slam “teh Dew”, and get laid. Also written out of Bay's version is the iconic scene of a cowering ET making a bicycke fly, because according to Bay- "bikes are not extreme, and no kid rides a bike anymore."
Huh? Obviously this is an attempt to claim Bay's "Transformers" films are just an extreme version of "E.T.," which has been noted since the beginning. But it's still worth citing just to think of the worst possible situation in remake land. Or, just to further see how much better Blankenheim's sequel idea is (as a parody, at least). Regardless, if Universal ever went forward with either a sequel or remake of "E.T.," it's more plausible that they'd go the more family-friendly route. Either way, which would you prefer, a number two or a reboot?