We can't believe it's here already. With a host of critics awards and guild nominees under our belts, tonight we get the first taste of sweet, frothy, award show goodness, the 2011 Golden Globes. There will be red carpet mayhem, there will be hotly debated fashion statements, there will be wildly incompetent TV presenters making the toast of Hollywood supremely uncomfortable. But, most importantly, we get to take the first temperature for Oscar season. We've always said the Globes are relatively meaningless, since the Hollywood Foreign Press tends to award mainstream fluff, or whoever throws them the best parties. We're hard on ya, HFPA, but you nominated freaking "Alice and Wonderland" and "The Tourist!" I guess "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" was too out there or their gift bags weren't as heavy.
But we are happy to see some of our best-loved 2010 films up for some hardware. "The King's Speech" and "The Social Network" will duke it out for Best Picture, Christian Bale and Melissa Leo's awards for their supporting performances in "The Fighter" are theirs to lose, and it will be interesting to see who will duke it out for the best actor/actress performances. Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" seems to be heavily buzzed about, but we'd love some love for Michelle Williams in "Blue Valentine." We'd be happy with a number of the men up for Best Actor-- James Franco in "127 Hours," Jesse Eisenberg in "The Social Network," so we know there will at least be some fun surprises to look forward to.
But really, we're just watching because this is the show where everyone gets hilariously drunk. And we'll be joining them. It's only appropriate.
7:02: Ok here we go red carpet. Glad to see Carson Daly getting work.
7:03: Ricky Gervais wearing sunglasses from 1983. So glad he's back this year. He needs to host everything. He seems to have some hilarious plans up his sleeve. Devilish grin.
7:04: Preggo Portman! Viktor and Rolf maternity wear. Not loving this giant rose bidness. Where is her hot ballerino?
More of the live blog after the jump. The full list of the winners are here.
7:07: Just have to break into the TV world for a sec to say Alexa Chung just knighted Alec Baldwin on the carpet. Alec's a Michelle Williams fan, fyi. We need Alexa for the Oscars, she's so not as awkward as Kathy Ireland.
7:09: Holy nutty Helena Bonham Carter. She is wearing her Harry Potter wig. And described her outfit as a wicked fairy witch. You pulled it off Helena.
7:15: Ryan Gosling tells Seacrest the name of "Blue Valentine" director, Derek Cianfrance, and seems pissed that Seacrest didn't know his name. Do your homework, Seacrest!
7:17: Jesse Eisenberg and his very bad hair have never met Mark Zuckerberg. He claims the Zuck said "they got the t-shirts right."
7:18: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones looking good, Michael says, "the tumor's gone, this kind of cancer doesn't come back. I'm happy to be back. To be cancer free is really special." That's really nice to hear. He also seems more into the Jets game. Whatever that is.
7:21: Carson Daly and Christina Aguilera having a TRL reunion. He actually name checked it. Remember when Eminem made fun of them in a song?
7:22: Justin Bieber, take off those glasses, this is not the Teen Choice Awards.
7:24: Angelina Jolie is "shocked" to be nominated for a comedy. Um, yeah, Ang, apparently you're as surprised you're there as we are.
7:31: Amy Adams is adorable but she has a giant crumpled doily on her chest. Distracting.
7:32: RPatz is presenting Best Foreign Film and he really likes "Biutiful" but hasn't seen anything else so... thanks for nothing.
7:33: Ryan Gosling and Derek Cianfrance are man dates tonight.
7:35: Colin Firth wins the "George Clooney Memorial Weird Hair Award" for this awards ceremony.
7:36: It's kind of weird that Kevin Spacey was nommed for "Casino Jack" right? He's paying tribute to sadly passed George Hickenlooper, which is really nice though.
7:42: 10 time nominee Helen Mirren presenting tonight. She's way too hot for her age. Give me your secrets, Mirren!
7:45: How has Christian Bale never been to the Globes before? He is wearing Jesus-in-all-black. I just want to brush his lustrous hair.
7:46: Michelle Williams.... you look awesome but this dress? Really? Daisies? I don't know...
7:49: ScarJo's hair is okay from the front, but straight Bride of Frankenstein from the side. She looks like she took a motorcycle to the Globes.
7:51: Anne Hathaway in a sequined, shoulder padded gold ensemble. It's... polarizing. She says she's taking notes for the Oscars.
7:52: RDJ is presenting Best Actress in Musical/Comedy since he won last year for "Sherlock." Eschewing the tux for a gray suit and poorly excuted side part.
7:55: Alexa manages to choose all my least favorites for her favorite dresses (Portman, Williams, Wilde). Annnnddd, who doesn't love an awkward cut away to the co-host?
8:01: Carson, call the Globes "a steakhouse" one more time. DO IT I DARE YOU.
8:02: Yay, here we go! Bearded Gervais opens with a drunk Globes/Sheen joke. I love how he's always talking about how drunk everyone is (cough cough T-Bone Burnett). OH SNAP HE JUST BURNED THE TOURIST.
8:04: I love Ricky Gervais. He is inside our heads. He just burned the HFPA for wanting to hang out with Johnny Depp and taking bribes (Cher concert).
8:05: He is burning "SATC," Scientology, Tom Cruise (unnamed). He is going to need a bodyguard to leave.
8:07: ScarJo presents Best Supporting Actor to.... Christian Bale! Obvs!
8:09: Bale calls the HFPA "oddball characters" and shouts out Mark Wahlberg. Hopes Melissa and Amy are out of character so there's no punch up over Supporting Actress. Thanks the Ward/Ecklund family and is rudely and loudly played offstage.
8:18: Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey introduce Miss Golden Globe Gia Mantegna (daughter of Joe), also best mini-series or TV movie. CARLOS WINS! Awesome!! Edgar Ramirez gets to go onstage and get a hug and hair molestation from the producer who is not understanding the concept of being "played off."
8:24: Bruce Willis gets called "Ashton Kutcher's dad" by Gervais, seems amused by it and announces "Red" for Best Musical/Comedy.
8:32: Zombie Michelle Pfeiffer presents "Alice in Wonderland". All I can say is that I stopped watching this movie while ON A PLANE. I was trapped on a plane and I didn't watch it.
8:34: Gauntlet thrown between Ricky Gervais and the fossil president of the HFPA. Damn. It's been broughten. Way to take a joke, Grandpa!
8:37: We weren't going to do TV but wanted to mention, Steve Buscemi wins best actor for "Boardwalk Empire," totally steals it from Jon Hamm. Buscemi's the best, most hilarious. He's calling out the short time allotment for the speeches. They are really burning through the show this year. Maybe so people won't get so drunk.
8:39 And "Boardwalk Empire" wins best tv series! Terry Winter says "holy effin crap, we just won a Golden Globe." Apparently Mark Wahlberg produces this? He's onstage? Winter can't believe he's sitting at a table with Al Pacino.
8:46: Andrew Garfield can't read the teleprompter and plays it off beautifully. He's great. My mom LOVES HIM. Ricky Gervais says "TSN" is his fave film of the year.
8:47: Alec Baldwin and J. Lo present Best Song. These nominees are fucking dismal, we must say. Can we get a little T-Bone Burnett up in here?! Icky icky ballads galore. The Globe goes to "You Haven't Seen The Last of Me" from "Burlesque." Whoopie do, Diane Warren and her saggy baggy lady tux.
8:51: Time for Best Score... TRENT REZNOR AND ATTICUS ROSS for "TSN"!! Woo, awesometown. Really weird to see these guys all clean cut like this. Fincher looks oddly bored.
8:57: Justin Bieber and Hailee Steinfeld present animated feature. She is like a foot taller than him. Oh teenage boys. Can Bieber please not be at the Globes. This just seems wrong. If he's at the Oscars I will cut someone. Globe goes to "Toy Story 3!" No surprise there.
9:01: Oh dear, RDJ calls the vibe of the show "hugely mean spirited and sinister," but now he's cracking wise about sleeping about all of the women nominated for best actress in a Musical or Comedy. Emma Stone pulls off a pretty great reaction to his funning though. Um, what is going on with his glasses? RDJ is really going for this joke though... gotta love him at an awards show. The winner is...Annette Bening!
9:12: Sylvester Stallone presents "The Fighter" for best picture. God, what an awesome film.
9:13: Tilda Swinton! She is an alien right?! She's all "... Happy New Year...." And did she just say "televisual movie"??? Al Pacino wins for best actor in a miniseries or TV movie for "You Don't Know Jack."
9:16: Annette Bening and Al Pacino are sporting the same crazy hairstyle this evening.
9:17: In absolutely no surprise, Claire Danes wins best actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries for "Temple Grandin" over Jennifer Love Hewitt in "The Client List." Who in the HFPA even watched "The Client List"? Shameful.
9:25: Chunky Zac Efron presents "The Kids Are Alright." What? I'm just saying the guy's put on some post-Disney pounds.
9:26: Tina Fey and Steve Carell (Carell gets traditionally lambasted by Gervais, love these two) present Best Screenplay. They are hilarious. And the Globe goes to... Aaron Sorkin! No surprise there! He accepts also on behalf of the guy who wrote "Accidental Billionaires." He shouts out all the females nominated and smart girls... maybe doing some reverse PR for "TSN."
9:30: Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans present best actress in a TV series. It's a beef stew up there, rowr! Jane Lynch wins for "Glee" by the way.
9:38: RPatz and Olivia Wilde present Best Foreign Film to "In a Better World" from Denmark... an upset over "I Am Love" no?
9:41: Helen Mirren introduces "The King's Speech," hotly.
9:48: Jane Fonda introduces "Burlesque" in truly wonderful shoulder pads.
9:52: Jeremy Irons intros Best Supporting Actress, acting like an over the top crazy man. MELISSA LEO WINSS!!! YESSSSS! Melissa Leo's hair in "The Fighter" needs a damn award. She loves getting kissed by Irons though. Melissa rules. Marky Mark chugs some wine during his reaction shot, nice. Melissa's speech is kind of the best. Jokes and love and she calls Mark a prince. Shouts out the ladies winning tonight, though Helena Bonham Carter gives her some serious stink eye. Nevertheless, pretty awesome. This year's Mo'Nique.
10:00: Matt Damon presents the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert DeNiro. Robert, your hair. Really, all the male hair tonight is just so bad. And now Matt is doing all of his best DeNiros. OMG I just saw Angelina apply lip gloss. I thought she had other people do that for her.
10:03: DeNiro montage is the greatest. The. Greatest. Let's all forget about "Little Fockers." Funnily, he shouts out that film saying he got the award before the reviews for "LF." He says we've all got a job to do. He's bagging on the HFPA. Love that everyone is outwardly self-aware tonight. He also says he's going to be selling box sets of his films and posing for photos with the HFPA. Honestly, DeNiro's speech is hilarious.
10:15: Megan Fox presents "The Tourist" boooo. Not even Ang seems to care.
10:16: Winner Annette Bening appears to present Best Director, and the Globe goes to... David Fincher for "TSN." Very much expected. Fincher reads his speech, though it is funny. Scott Rudin can't stop the shit-eating grin.
10:19: January Jones' breast displayer aka dress is not working for her. Not at all. "Glee" wins for best musical or comedy tv series.
10:25: Alicia Keys presents "Black Swan" while wearing a red tent.
10:26: Halle Berry presents Actor in a Comedy/Musical. Johnny Depp literally laughs at his name being called for "The Tourist." Paul Giamatti wins for "Barney's Version." He's schubbily wonderful as Giamatti is.
10:34: Joseph Gordon-Levitt presents "Inception," just Rat Packin' it up. So suave. Looks like he's doing some Vegas act.
10:35: Jeff Bridges presents Best Actress/Drama, and the Globe goes to.... Natalie Portman! She totally makes out with her hot baby daddy. Of course Nat is uber serious and unflappable in her thank you speech. She thanks hot baby daddy and then explains who he is... and um makes a joke about how he wants to sleep with her (opposite of what he says in "Black Swan"). She also calls Mila Kunis "Sweet Lips." Natalie Portman comedy! Love it.
10:40: Tom Hanks and Tim Allen present Best Musical/Comedy, and the winner is... "The Kids Are Alright," the only non-shameful nominee in the entire freaking category.
10:44: I hate the shots of everyone having fun that they show going into commercial break. I just want to be there! What joke are you telling, James Franco?!?!
10:47: Sandra Bullock and her face-eating bangs present Best Actor/Drama... and the Globe goes to Colin Firth for "The King's Speech." He invokes the term "man-love" in referring to Geoffrey Rush and Tom Hooper. Um, and he also calls Geoffrey Rush his "geisha girl." Firth ends up being a total class act. Of course!
10:55: Michael Douglas is here to present Best Picture/Drama. RDJ fist pumps, naturally. Douglas says, "there's gotta be an easier way to get a standing ovation." And "THE SOCIAL NETWORK" WINS! No real surprise there. There were thoughts that "The King's Speech" would appeal more to the the HFPA. But now there is nothing stopping "The Social Network" juggernaut. Scott Rudin calls up Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield to the stage, for some reason they stayed seated, while everyone else and their mother is on the stage.
10:59: And that's all folks! Is this the first show to come in under the allotted time? No wonder they were blazing through the thing. It was fun, thanks for reading! Good night all!