Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
Watch: First Trailer For Gillian Flynn's 'Dark Places' Starring Charlize Theron, Chloë Moretz, And Nicholas Hoult Watch: First Trailer For Gillian Flynn's 'Dark Places' Starring Charlize Theron, Chloë Moretz, And Nicholas Hoult Review: Neill Blomkamp's 'Chappie,' Starring Die Antwoord, Dev Patel, Sigourney Weaver And Hugh Jackman Review: Neill Blomkamp's 'Chappie,' Starring Die Antwoord, Dev Patel, Sigourney Weaver And Hugh Jackman 'Chappie' Actor Admits There Was "Tension" On Set With Die Antwoord's Ninja; Check Out Two New Featurettes 'Chappie' Actor Admits There Was "Tension" On Set With Die Antwoord's Ninja; Check Out Two New Featurettes Premature Oscar Predictions: The 2016 Best Actor Contenders Premature Oscar Predictions: The 2016 Best Actor Contenders 2015 Tribeca Film Festival Line-Up Announced: James Franco’s ‘Adderall Diaries,’ Olivia Wilde In ‘Meadowland’ & More 2015 Tribeca Film Festival Line-Up Announced: James Franco’s ‘Adderall Diaries,’ Olivia Wilde In ‘Meadowland’ & More First Look: Joseph Gordon-Levitt As Edward Snowden In Oliver Stone's 'Snowden' First Look: Joseph Gordon-Levitt As Edward Snowden In Oliver Stone's 'Snowden' Drew Goddard To Write And Direct Sony & Marvel's 'The Spectacular Spider-Man'; 'Sinister Six' Scrapped Drew Goddard To Write And Direct Sony & Marvel's 'The Spectacular Spider-Man'; 'Sinister Six' Scrapped Premature Oscar Predictions: The 2016 Best Picture Contenders Premature Oscar Predictions: The 2016 Best Picture Contenders Watch: Original Short Film Version Of 'Whiplash' Starring Oscar Winner J.K. Simmons Watch: Original Short Film Version Of 'Whiplash' Starring Oscar Winner J.K. Simmons Watch: Nifty Video Examines David Fincher’s Subtle Repetition Of Framing And Blocking In 'Gone Girl' Watch: Nifty Video Examines David Fincher’s Subtle Repetition Of Framing And Blocking In 'Gone Girl' Sigourney Weaver Says She'll Be Playing A New Character In The 'Avatar' Sequels Sigourney Weaver Says She'll Be Playing A New Character In The 'Avatar' Sequels Kristen Stewart Joins Kelly Reichardt’s Untitled Montana Drama With Michelle Williams & More Kristen Stewart Joins Kelly Reichardt’s Untitled Montana Drama With Michelle Williams & More 'Prisoners' & 'Enemy' Director Denis Villeneuve To Helm 'Blade Runner' Sequel, Harrison Ford Confirmed To Return 'Prisoners' & 'Enemy' Director Denis Villeneuve To Helm 'Blade Runner' Sequel, Harrison Ford Confirmed To Return The 50 Best Films Of The Decade So Far The 50 Best Films Of The Decade So Far "I F*cked It Up": Neill Blomkamp Says He Wants To Go Back To 'Elysium' And "Do It Correctly" "I F*cked It Up": Neill Blomkamp Says He Wants To Go Back To 'Elysium' And "Do It Correctly" The 25 Best Films Of 2015 We've Already Seen The 25 Best Films Of 2015 We've Already Seen Best Of 2014: The 15 Best Movie Soundtracks Of 2014 Best Of 2014: The 15 Best Movie Soundtracks Of 2014 The 25 Best Horror Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 25 Best Horror Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season From Worst To Best: Ranking The Films Of Hayao Miyazaki From Worst To Best: Ranking The Films Of Hayao Miyazaki

The 5 Painful Stages Of Colin Farrell Being Offered The 'Total Recall' Remake

The Playlist By The Playlist | The Playlist November 15, 2010 at 1:39AM

1. MILD IRRITATION At Hollywood's Uncreativity. Having to initially write/regurgitate story that says Neal H. Moritz is remaking the Arnold Schwarzenegger '80s film. Rehashing bad quote from absurd, yet semi-ludicrous/entertaining original film that probably made original author Philip K. Dick roll over in his grave. Even worse, Len Wiseman, who created the awful "Underworld" films, but still somehow managed to marry Kate Beckinsale, is directing.
5


1. MILD IRRITATION At Hollywood's Uncreativity. Having to initially write/regurgitate story that says Neal H. Moritz is remaking the Arnold Schwarzenegger '80s film. Rehashing bad quote from absurd, yet semi-ludicrous/entertaining original film that probably made original author Philip K. Dick roll over in his grave. Even worse, Len Wiseman, who created the awful "Underworld" films, but still somehow managed to marry Kate Beckinsale, is directing.

2. ANNOYANCE. Suffering through a non-news story wish-list item that says studios would like to have more mega-successful films; oh, and Colin Farrell as lead in "Total Recall" project. Incidentally, we would like large pectoral muscles.

3. RESENT. Wasting time and energy saying with a straight face, "Hey, remember when Columbia said they wanted Colin Farrell for the 'Total Recall' remake? Now they officially made him the offer!" and then pretending you're not contributing to the downfall of mankind.

4. DREAD. Dreading "Colin Farrell accepts Total Recall film offer' follow-up story you'll probably have to write. Further dreading possibility of talented actor realizing this role is beneath him and we have to start this nonsense all over again.

5. ACCEPTANCE. Wondering to self how many exclamation marks Ain't It Cool will employ in headline. Rethinking offer to write for Marie Claire.

This article is related to: Films, Actors, Total Recall


The Playlist

The obsessives' guide to contemporary cinema via film discussion, news, reviews, features, nostalgia, movie music, soundtracks, DVDs and more.


Check out Indiewire on LockerDome on LockerDome

E-Mail Updates