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A Fat Kid Gets Raised By Whales & Becomes An Olympic Swimmer In Jon Turteltaub's Ridiculous 'Beached'

The Playlist By Joe Cunningham | The Playlist August 28, 2012 at 12:25PM

The city of London recently learned that Olympics fever is extremely infectious. Evidently said fever has managed to spread outside the U.K. and has made its way to Los Angeles, where it has found director John Turteltaub (“National Treasure”). He’s signed on to direct “Beached,” the story of a chubby four-year-old boy who falls overboard during a family outing. But don’t worry, the chubby kid doesn’t die – instead he’s found and raised by whales. Yes, you read that right, he’s raised by whales. And what does any young boy who’s raised by whales go on to do? Well, become an Olympic swimming champion of course.
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Jon Turteltaub Kid Whale

The city of London recently learned that Olympics fever is extremely infectious. Evidently said fever has managed to spread outside the U.K. and has made its way to Los Angeles, where it has found director John Turteltaub (“National Treasure”). He’s signed on to direct “Beached,” the story of a chubby four-year-old boy who falls overboard during a family outing. But don’t worry, the chubby kid doesn’t die – instead he’s found and raised by whales. Yes, you read that right, he’s raised by whales. And what does any young boy who’s raised by whales go on to do? Well, become an Olympic swimming champion of course.

You won’t be surprised to discover that this isn’t based on a true story. It comes from a script penned by Ted Griffin (“Ocean’s Eleven,” “Tower Heist”) who wrote it was back in 1997, and it’s been kicking around Hollywood ever since. Betty Thomas (“28 Days,” “John Tucker Must Die”) was attached to the project at one point, but she obviously decided that making a sequel to a film about singing chipmunks made more sense to make and let the script lie dormant.

But after a wave of Olympic goodwill (pun intended) and the likes Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte and Missy Franklin, who have emerged from the London games as genuine superstar athletes, this seems as good a time as any for Turtletaub to take the plunge with the bizarre and ridiculous whale-boy-goes-to-the-Olympics-movie. Turtletaub will oversee a new draft of the script (*insert Michael Phelps cameo here*, *remove sperm whale gag there*), which we’re sure will go just swimmingly/Turtle-y great. Oh god, these puns are going to make it into the screenplay, aren't they? [THR]

This article is related to: Jon Turteltaub, Beached


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