By Kevin Jagernauth | The Playlist May 13, 2013 at 8:14PM
At 65 years old, you might think that Arnold Schwarzenegger might want to look to other things to do besides clinging to the fading glory of his action hero past. No one cared about "The Last Stand," and just like every other Expendable, audiences only want to see those old dudes team up, not on their own (theaters were pretty much empty for Sylvester Stallone's "Bullet To The Head"). But it seems Arnie is trying to reboot a franchise that no one is really eager to reboot.
In the works for the past few years, the reboot of Troma's "The Toxic Avenger" has reared it's head once again, with Arnie looking to take a lead role (nope, he won't be the toxic hero). The original 1984 cult movie followed a Melvin Ferd III, a 98-pound weakling nerd who falls into a drum of toxic waste, which transforms his body and gives him near super human strength. After dealing with his transformation, the hero takes care of the various gangs and crime bosses in his town of Tromaville. Variety notes that this version will be "an action adventure geared toward mainstream auds," because obviously.
Steve Pink, the helmer behind "Hot Tub Time Machine," is still linked to direct after getting attached three years ago. But the make or break of this iteration of the movie (John Travolta was rumored to lead it last year) will probably be if anyone bites on it at Cannes, where it will be hustled in the market. "Toxic Avenger!? With Arnie!? HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?" isn't a scenario we imagine happening, but hey, stranger things have happened. Speaking of which, if Arnie were to play Melvin? It might look something like this....