Bradley Cooper To Play Lucifer (What?) In 3D Adaptation Of 'Paradise Lost' (Again, What?)

by Gabe Toro
May 5, 2011 1:24 AM
6 Comments
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Unaware that the concept seems to be an Onion headline come to life, Bradley Cooper is eyeing the role of Lucifer in a big budget 3D adaptation of "Paradise Lost" according to Variety. Take a second, and let that sink in. A big budget, 3D adaptation of "Paradise Lost." With Bradley Cooper. Got it? Ok, great. Great pains are being made to stress that negotiations are not yet underway, but that apparently Cooper is chomping at the bit for the chance to star in what deserves to be the biggest cinematic punchline of the next couple of years.

The story of "Paradise Lost" involves the Fall of Man through the temptation of Adam and Eve, with the struggle between archangels Michael and Lucifer amidst what is sure to be a gigantic CGI-filled war of angels in Heaven. "Paradise Lost" was meant to find the truth behind the struggle of free will and the power of God, though Legendary Pictures and Warner Bros. are likely to forgo any idea that may offend Christians, oblivious to the fact that an action spectacular based off "Paradise Lost" is offensive to everyone.

"Paradise Lost" is being directed by Alex Proyas, who, in his defense, has made a number of silly movies with big ideas behind them. He's accomplished, but he's much closer to "hack" than "auteur," and not exactly the type we'd peg to adapt a highly influential 17th century free-verse poem about the Fall of Man. Ironically, Cooper was weighing a reboot of "The Crow," a franchise kickstarted by Proyas in the early nineties, but starring as the sixth actor to play The Crow in twenty years apparently isn't as bad an idea as playing the absolute lamest Lucifer in cinema history.

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6 Comments

  • Daniel | March 8, 2012 3:40 PMReply

    Considering Milton's "Paradise Lost" is -still- one of the most hotly debated literary riddles, I shudder to imagine it interpreted by Hollywood. Perhaps even the Devil cringed and closed the project down.

  • Daniel | March 8, 2012 3:40 PMReply

    Considering Milton's "Paradise Lost" is -still- one of the most hotly debated literary riddles, I shudder to imagine it interpreted by Hollywood. Perhaps even the Devil cringed and closed the project down.

  • Leah Zak | May 5, 2011 6:19 AMReply

    @skdfslkd - well played.

    I made excuses for Bradley Cooper for years because of his Stella association... but after some soul searching (and also seeing "Limitless"... as well as the above picture) fair to say, I give up.

  • skdfslkd | May 5, 2011 5:16 AMReply

    Bradley Cooper played Lucifer once.
    http://vimeo.com/5344409

  • Papushi | May 5, 2011 2:52 AMReply

    You have to try it, Oliver. It's pretty awesome.

  • Oliver Lyttelton | May 5, 2011 2:10 AMReply

    I like that picture. I've never seen someone look so delighted to be shitting in a bath.

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