Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
Watch: Zach Galifianakis Takes On Brad Pitt In Latest 'Between Two Ferns' Plus Louis C.K. Stops By Watch: Zach Galifianakis Takes On Brad Pitt In Latest 'Between Two Ferns' Plus Louis C.K. Stops By Watch: First Trailer For 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron,' Brings Mass Destruction Along With Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver Watch: First Trailer For 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron,' Brings Mass Destruction Along With Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver Watch: 'Star Wars' Prequels Recut Into 2 Hour 40 Minute 'Turn to the Darkside: Episode 3.1' Watch: 'Star Wars' Prequels Recut Into 2 Hour 40 Minute 'Turn to the Darkside: Episode 3.1' Edward Norton Says He Didn't Return To Play Hulk Because He Wanted More "Diversity" In His Film Roles Edward Norton Says He Didn't Return To Play Hulk Because He Wanted More "Diversity" In His Film Roles Oscar Buzz: Who Could Be Set For Nods In The Supporting Actress Race? Oscar Buzz: Who Could Be Set For Nods In The Supporting Actress Race? Juliette Binoche Says Her Performance In 'Godzilla' Made Quentin Tarantino Cry Juliette Binoche Says Her Performance In 'Godzilla' Made Quentin Tarantino Cry Listen To Chvrches "Get Away" From The Rescored Version Of Nicolas Winding Refn's 'Drive' Plus Check Out The Trailer Listen To Chvrches "Get Away" From The Rescored Version Of Nicolas Winding Refn's 'Drive' Plus Check Out The Trailer The Essentials: The 10 Best Michael Keaton Performances The Essentials: The 10 Best Michael Keaton Performances George Lucas Says Studios "Don't Have Any Imagination And Don't Have Any Talent" George Lucas Says Studios "Don't Have Any Imagination And Don't Have Any Talent" Recap: 'Boardwalk Empire' Season 5, Episode 7 ‘Friendless Child’ Recap: 'Boardwalk Empire' Season 5, Episode 7 ‘Friendless Child’ Watch: Spoiler-ific Local News Report On 'Batman v. Superman' That Caused WB To Lauch A Lawsuit Watch: Spoiler-ific Local News Report On 'Batman v. Superman' That Caused WB To Lauch A Lawsuit Watch: Baz Luhrmann's Chanel No. 5 Short Film "The One That I Want" Starring Gisele Bündchen Watch: Baz Luhrmann's Chanel No. 5 Short Film "The One That I Want" Starring Gisele Bündchen WTF: Horror Hit 'Annabelle' Yanked From French Theaters Due To Rioting WTF: Horror Hit 'Annabelle' Yanked From French Theaters Due To Rioting Gone Girls And Gone Boys: 11 Films That Dissect Marriage Gone Girls And Gone Boys: 11 Films That Dissect Marriage Watch: 3 Graphic, Very NSFW Clips From Lars von Trier's 'Nymphomaniac Vol II — Director's Cut' Watch: 3 Graphic, Very NSFW Clips From Lars von Trier's 'Nymphomaniac Vol II — Director's Cut' The Best Documentaries Of 2014 So Far The Best Documentaries Of 2014 So Far The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The Best Films Of 2014 So Far... The Best Films Of 2014 So Far... The 10 Best & Worst Movie Sex Scenes The 10 Best & Worst Movie Sex Scenes All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More

Watch: New Red Band Trailer For 'Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters' Reveals Another Crappy Looking January Movie

The Playlist By Rodrigo Perez | The Playlist January 4, 2013 at 5:40AM

Aside from say, "Kill List" "Haywire," to a more lesser, subjective extent "The Grey," good films are not meant to be released in January and 9.999999 times out 10 they are not. It's a dumping ground season for bad romantic comedies that have tested poorly ("Bride Wars"), lame spoof movies ("Meet the Spartans") horror-action dreck ("My Bloody Valentine 3D" and the like), wackjob oddities starring Nicolas Cage ("Season of the Witch") and whatever else needs to be released, but the studio has pretty much zero confidence in other than appealing to those that actively look at a bail-bond business rom-com starring Katherine Heigl and go, "Wow, that looks tremendous." And let's face it, January might be critical death, but it always does decent business at the box-office.
6
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters

Aside from say, "Kill List" "Haywire," and to a more subjective extent "The Grey," good films are not meant to be released in January and 9.999999 times out 10 they are not. It's a dumping ground season for bad romantic comedies that have tested poorly ("Bride Wars"), lame spoof movies ("Meet the Spartans") horror-action dreck ("My Bloody Valentine 3D" and the like), wackjob oddities starring Nicolas Cage ("Season of the Witch") and whatever else needs to be released, but the studio has pretty much zero confidence in other than appealing to those that actively look at a bail-bond business rom-com starring Katherine Heigl and go, "Wow, that looks tremendous." And let's face it, January might be critical death, but it always does decent business at the box-office.

In recent years, studios have tried to change January (and its often terrible cousin mouth February) into a slightly more respectable season, by throwing shelved, delayed and unwanted stepchildren projects that once had heat/buzz on them into this frame (see "The Wolfman," "The Green Hornet," "Edge Of Darkness") and hoping they'll stick with audiences that actually paid money to see some of the aforementioned gash in the first graph.

2013 isn't much different. While Noreweigan director Tommy Wirkola earned a lot of plaudits for his 2009 zombie/nazis movie, "Dead Snow," his Engllish-language feature-length debut, "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters" has been delayed and then dumped despite the ostensibly good cast of Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton and Famke Janssen. Here's the synopsis:

After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches...their past.

So it already sounds and looks.... ungood and while the latest red-band trailer might appeal to fans of action, horror and gore, as well as filling out some of the backstory, there looks like there's no salvaging this one. Sporting some sort of modern steampunk fairytale vibe, "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters" also co-stars Peter Stormare, Zoe Bell and Thomas Mann. There will always be an optimist out there that goes, "C'mon, look at that cast, I bet the January release date has nothing to do with its quality," but history shows that it usually does. Beauty, we suppose is in the eye of the beholder, but we know a turkey when we see one.  "Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters" is due January 25th. Watch the trailer below; in the latest annoying movie marketing technique, you have to verify your age with Facebook.

Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Renner, (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Arterton (skip)
Hansel and Gretel, Renner, Arterton (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Renner, Arterton (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Famke Janssen
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Arterton (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Renner, Arterton (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Famke (skip)
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Gemma Arterton
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Renner
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Arterton
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, Renner,

This article is related to: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Film Trailers


The Playlist

The obsessives' guide to contemporary cinema via film discussion, news, reviews, features, nostalgia, movie music, soundtracks, DVDs and more.


E-Mail Updates