Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
The 20 Worst Films Of 2015 So Far The 20 Worst Films Of 2015 So Far Paul Thomas Anderson To Write And Possibly Direct Warner Bros' ‘Pinocchio’ For Robert Downey Jr. Paul Thomas Anderson To Write And Possibly Direct Warner Bros' ‘Pinocchio’ For Robert Downey Jr. Watch: First Trailer For Oliver Stone’s ‘Snowden’ Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Shailene Woodley & Nicolas Cage Watch: First Trailer For Oliver Stone’s ‘Snowden’ Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Shailene Woodley & Nicolas Cage Review: ‘Terminator: Genisys’ Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney & Jason Clarke Review: ‘Terminator: Genisys’ Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney & Jason Clarke 'Thor: The Dark World' Director Alan Taylor Says His Marvel Experience Was "Particularly Wrenching" 'Thor: The Dark World' Director Alan Taylor Says His Marvel Experience Was "Particularly Wrenching" Watch: Anna Paquin Is Rescued In Clip From 'X-Men: Days of Future Past - The Rogue Cut' Watch: Anna Paquin Is Rescued In Clip From 'X-Men: Days of Future Past - The Rogue Cut' Kevin Feige Says 'Spider-Man 2' Is "One Of The Best Superhero Movies Ever," Talks John Hughes Influence On New Spidey Kevin Feige Says 'Spider-Man 2' Is "One Of The Best Superhero Movies Ever," Talks John Hughes Influence On New Spidey Watch: Live Your Ultimate Fantasy With The First NSFW Trailer For Gaspar Noe's 'Love' Watch: Live Your Ultimate Fantasy With The First NSFW Trailer For Gaspar Noe's 'Love' Review & Recap: ‘True Detective’ Season 2, Episode 2, ‘Night Finds You’ Review & Recap: ‘True Detective’ Season 2, Episode 2, ‘Night Finds You’ Terrence Malick’s ‘Knight Of Cups’ Won’t Arrive Until 2016, Austin Music Scene Drama Not Titled ‘Weightless’ Terrence Malick’s ‘Knight Of Cups’ Won’t Arrive Until 2016, Austin Music Scene Drama Not Titled ‘Weightless’ The Punisher Will Reportedly Appear As The Villain In ‘Daredevil’ Season 2 The Punisher Will Reportedly Appear As The Villain In ‘Daredevil’ Season 2 'Lucy 2' And 'Colombiana 2' Are In Development 'Lucy 2' And 'Colombiana 2' Are In Development Mixed Reactions For Marvel's 'Ant-Man' After First Press Screening Plus New Promos And Pics Mixed Reactions For Marvel's 'Ant-Man' After First Press Screening Plus New Promos And Pics The Essentials: The 5 Best Rachel McAdams Performances The Essentials: The 5 Best Rachel McAdams Performances The 25 Best TV Shows Of The 2014/2015 Season The 25 Best TV Shows Of The 2014/2015 Season The 25 Best Animated Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 25 Best Animated Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 50 Best Films Of The Decade So Far The 50 Best Films Of The Decade So Far The 25 Best Horror Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 25 Best Horror Films Of The 21st Century So Far The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More

In Theaters: 'Pirates,' 'Paris,' And Not Much Else

Photo of Katie Walsh By Katie Walsh | The Playlist May 20, 2011 at 5:40AM

Yaarrghh! Mateys! It's time for another installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Let's Cash Some Checks"!!! Johnny's got the mortgage on his private island in France to pay off, so let's get the gang back together. Dig the dreadlock wigs out of storage and rustle up some mermaids, we've got bills to pay! So you can go see that in theaters this weekend. Or you can go see the fresh-from-the Croisette "Midnight in Paris," a delightful entry into the Woody Allen canon. Owen Wilson! He's perfect for a Woody Allen movie, why didn't we figure this out before?! Have you checked out our extensive Allen retrospective? It's tearing Playlist HQ apart! Epithets have been hurled; gauntlets have been thrown. So those are your choices for this weekend. Alternatively, you can re-read the reviews from Cannes and cry that you haven't seen "The Tree of Life" or "Drive" yet. That sounds fun too.
0


Yaarrghh! Mateys! It's time for another installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Let's Cash Some Checks"!!! Johnny's got the mortgage on his private island in France to pay off, so let's get the gang back together. Dig the dreadlock wigs out of storage and rustle up some mermaids, we've got bills to pay! So you can go see that in theaters this weekend. Or you can go see the fresh-from-the Croisette "Midnight in Paris," a delightful entry into the Woody Allen canon. Owen Wilson! He's perfect for a Woody Allen movie, why didn't we figure this out before?! Have you checked out our extensive Allen retrospective? It's tearing Playlist HQ apart! Epithets have been hurled; gauntlets have been thrown. So those are your choices for this weekend. Alternatively, you can re-read the reviews from Cannes and cry that you haven't seen "The Tree of Life" or "Drive" yet. That sounds fun too.

Rob Marshall directs the latest installment of the 'Pirates' franchise, and it's shot in 3D! Oh boy! This time around, the pirates are looking for the Fountain of Youth, because between Johnny Depp, Ian McShane and Geoffrey Rush, that's a whole lot of craggy. Penelope Cruz dons Keira Knightley's old tri-cornered hat and britches, and some mermaids are thrown into the mix. Our review says, "'On Stranger Tides' isn’t offensively bad, it’s not even poor. It’s just nothing special. And after a while that 'nothing special' feels 'exceptionally dull.'" Rotten Tomatoes: 35% Metacritic: 45


Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen and Marion Cotillard star in Woody Allen's latest effort, the magical realist "Midnight in Paris." Based off the trailer, I'm kinda seein' what McAdams and Beckinsale see in Michael Sheen. He-llo! In actual film news, it was lauded by Cannes-goers, and our review from the fest says the breezy film "intoxicates you, and it’s hard not to fall under its spell." I'd like to intoxicate Michael Sheen if you follow my drift... okay, okay, I'll stop now... No I won't! Michael Sheen, you look hot with that beard! RT: 91% MC: 83

This is a short one this week, as it seems the entire film world only cares about Cannes or "Pirates of the Caribbean." Go see "Bridesmaids" so we can have a sequel.

In Limited Release:

-- Um... I'm pretty sure I already wrote about this movie months ago, and you guys don't care, but Rotten Tomatoes says that "Lion of Judah" the Ernest Borgnine-voiced cartoon is in theaters. Cool. I like Ernest Borgnine. Do you know about his fountain of youth? Ew, I just grossed myself out.

-- Like "Crazy Heart"? How'd you like it if it starred Kris Kristofferson and Hillary Duff? Well, now you have "Bloodworth." At least that's what I can tell from the one-sheet.

-- Sexy lady vampires in "We Are the Night"! This will satisfy your thirst until "True Blood" comes back.

-- An Iraq-war vet returns home to family drama in Philly in "Cost of a Soul" RT: 30%

-- High school slam-poetry documentary, "Louder than a Bomb." RT: 100%

-- Urban lady comedy "35 and Ticking." I'm betting it's sassy!

-- Oooohhh this one looks fun! Sophie Monk and Cameron Richardson as surfing femmes fatale in "Hard Breakers." RT: the dreaded 0%

Have fun this weekend, and if anything, you can just watch this GIF wall of Kirsten Dunst reacting to Lars von Trier during Press Conference-gate. It's mesmerizing.

This article is related to: Films, Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Midnight In Paris


The Playlist

The obsessives' guide to contemporary cinema via film discussion, news, reviews, features, nostalgia, movie music, soundtracks, DVDs and more.


E-Mail Updates