Elsewhere, Caouette has stated a desire to never do documentaries again, but here he wanted to make his feelings clear. "I did say that, and now I'm putting my foot in my mouth again. I'm gonna rephrase that: I never want to make a personal documentary again. This is certainly the conclusion to 'Tarnation,' I'm certainly removing myself from the spotlight and looking forward to doing other works. I don't want this to be some sort of post-post-modern '7-Up' series or 'This American Life,' you know?" He definitely leaves the door open for more documentary work, mentioning that he had "at least one more documentary" in him. "I think it'd be really cool if it happens -- but I don't want to say what it is! I don't want the universe to zap it away, I'm not normally superstitious about anything, but something cool can be brewing and it could happen pretty quickly." Caouette also noted his eagerness to move into narrative filmmaking, with recent inspirations being the current crop of narrative/doc hybrids coming out now. Presently writing a screenplay, he was coy to say what it was exactly about, but did let a few details slip. "The goal is that I want it to feel like a run-on sentence that will be very phonetic in the way it’s delivered. It would evoke one very solidified theme with a very solidified narrative with a three act structure, but the way it’ll come out would be very dream-like and hopefully very new," he described, cautiously adding, "if I can pull it off in the way that I’m hoping I can pull it off." It's still an idea he's trying to wrap his head around, but sounds like something that could be very interesting.
As a little breather from his filmmaking work, Caouette dabbles in acting, though doesn't go out of his way to seek it out. "I won’t turn down an acting job if it’s cool, but I don’t go out for it. If it’s someone I’ve worked with or respect, I’ll do it. I have a small part in Xan Cassavettes’s film 'Kiss of the Damned,' that was a lot of fun. There's also 'Portland' that a friend of mine, Matthew Mishory, is doing. I just recently saw a movie he finished, 'Joshua Tree, 1951: A Portrait of James Dean,’ and it kind of reminds me of something like an early Todd Haynes film, like the new queer cinema or a reinvention of queer cinema, in a way. I will probably have a part in his next film but I'm not sure when that's shooting."
"I had to do a handful of press one day, and I was feeling very vulnerable and wasn't able to do it. I felt really terrible having to opt out that day, but then I got my mojo back and started being able to talk about it again. It's a very emotional film for me, for obvious reasons... but I think it's weird, because I remember thinking this way initially before 'Tarnation' came out, but then I quickly got into this realm and mode where I was able to talk about it. Now I'm looking back and comparing the way I feel now versus eight years ago, and I think I may be less uninhibited with some aspects of my life now than I was back then, so maybe that's how I was able to talk about things more on a personal level back then... I'm not sure."
Time Is An Illusion, But Parallel Realities Exist
Opening with a quote from Albert Einstein ("The distinction of past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion"), Caouette elaborated on his thoughts concerning that statement. "For me, that's a thing that's pretty adjacent to the perpetual existential crisis that I've been going through most of my life," he paused with a chuckle. "But really, in the past five years I've been in this frame of mind, a hyper-awareness of my existence and the idea that now, looking back at everything in retrospect, it does very much feel like an illusion, and that terrifies me. I've been very obsessed with time, the notion of the past, the way that time exponentially speeds up as you get older, the relativity factor of that." 'Walk Away' also argues the existence of parallel realities or universes, something that the filmmaker is a firm believer in. "Just as different sound waves have different layers of sound and so on and so forth, I really think the whole idea of being born, living, and dying -- all of it -- there has to be layers of it, just like there’s layers to everything. And I don’t know why I feel so strongly about that, but I do." He admits that he doesn't know enough about it beyond just a general ponder, but he does end on a very simple, interesting note. "The mere fact of existing is so fantastical to me, why would anything else not be able to exist?"