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Lock Up Your Brain: New Trailer For 'Escape Plan' Starring Sylvester Stallone & Arnold Schwarzenegger

by Kevin Jagernauth
June 27, 2013 12:24 PM
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Escape Plan

"But it's supposed to be dumb!" certain audiences cry, when defending whatever dim action movie is causing chatter, which this week is "White House Down." While we hoped it would qualify as dumb yet awesome, it's just plain awful, with a self-seriousness that extinguishes whatever fun it might be trying to have with the genre. And yeah, we'd reckon the same applies to this latest offering from Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The first trailer for "Escape Plan" (formerly known as "The Tomb") is here and it looks fairly insipid. The movie finds Stallone playing Ray Breslin, a security expert who designs inescapable high-tech prisons for a living, only to find himself locked up in one, fighting for his life. His only ally will be Arnie, a hardened inmate looking to get a taste of life on the outside once again. This cinematic wonder comes from Miles Chapman,  director of "Road House 2: Last Call," with Amy Ryan collecting a paycheck (man, she deserves so much better than this), while guys like Jim Caviezel, Vincent D’Onofrio, 50 Cent and Vinnie Jones keep their IMDb page active with this assignment.

Will Stallone get out? Will Arnie have enough one liners? What's the deal with that goatee? All will be answered on October 18th.

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  • LeBobFromage | June 27, 2013 5:13 PMReply

    Would love to see a proper 18s (R-rated action) movie. The article on buddy cop movies reminded me of how much fun they were. We need more! The Raid last year whetted my appetite, but the violent action movie seems to be a dying genre in Hollywood.
    Am with the others criticising Kevin Jagernauth. He's best ignored, maybe he'll go away.

  • cirkusfolk | June 27, 2013 4:21 PMReply

    What's even worse than the "it's supposed to be dumb" excuses are the "it's a comic book movie" ones when you explain why those films defy all logic.

  • Washington | June 27, 2013 3:47 PMReply

    No one who really takes action films seriously actually uses the "it's supposed to be dumb" excuse for a bad action movie. Die Hard 1 is not dumb. Terminator 2 is not dumb. The fucking Road Warrior is not dumb. Those films are fucking genius. There do exist dumb action movies, yes, thank you for that piece of trivia, but nobody is holding them up on par with the masterpieces of genre.

    And yeah, Pacific Rim just looks like more fake videogame cgi looking dumb bullshit, why is that supposed to be something any adult should be excited about on here yet you take the time to shit on anything any action star over 40 stars in?

    Seriously, fuck off Kevin Jagernauth and pull your head out of your black and white swedish existential ass

  • Nathon | June 27, 2013 3:38 PMReply

    Funny, every other movie site reporting on this trailer is saying how awesome it looks. I think it looks pretty cool myself. Not sure what large object was stuck up Kevin's ass when he woke up this morning (I can think of several things), but I for one am glad to see these guys actually get together for what hopefully will be a quality action film....yano, one where an entire city doesn't have to be destroyed for it to be big and fun.

  • John Michaels | June 27, 2013 3:36 PMReply

    This actually looks good!

  • John Michaels | June 27, 2013 3:36 PMReply

    This actually looks good!

  • Mohammed | June 27, 2013 3:27 PMReply

    This is the guy who gave A SEPARATION, one of the most acclaimed films of the past years, a bad review. I'm surprised he still has a job as a reviewer.

  • name | June 27, 2013 2:55 PMReply

    so Pacific Rim is ok with the playlist but they have a problem with this?
    worse than rick perry!

  • Washington | June 27, 2013 1:53 PMReply

    Kevin got mugged by an action movie once

  • moo | June 27, 2013 1:53 PMReply

    We all get you're cooler than these movies. If it's the trailer is so unworthy, don't post it.

  • Derek Robertson | June 27, 2013 1:04 PMReply

    Kevin, ...take your subjective myopic head out of your ass please.

  • Irons | June 27, 2013 12:59 PMReply

    More stuffy, haughty disdain in the face of pretense-free entertainment... It's kind of hilarious to read you !

  • Matt N. | June 27, 2013 12:48 PMReply

    My 12-year-old self would have lost his mind for this movie!

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