By Gabe Toro | The Playlist May 14, 2011 at 1:00AM
O, my beauty, your attempts at wooing me are proving quite fruitful. You commandeered the new Andrew Dominik picture. You ensured funding for the next Charlie Kaufman/Spike Jonze collaboration. Your capital has gotten "The Wettest County In The World" and "Killing Bin Laden" on their feet, and you are providing the fuel that is the rocket to be Paul Anderson's "The Master." Further proving your dollars were not hollow, you out-and-out bought the rights to Wong Kar-Wai's "The Grandmasters." Never have I been seduced so expertly.
But our sunshine days and lunar evenings could not be complete, as we did not have a dowry. These efforts were for the sake of art, not commerce. And so it behooves me to congratulate you on procuring one of the few for-sale properties in Hollywood that could be our nest egg, "The Terminator." The fact that you outbid Lionsgate for the dormant science fiction series stops the heart; knowing you would cement our union by besting The House That Tyler Perry Built is a love by any other name.
Sigh towards the heat and intensity of this immediacy, this passionate impulse buy, for I find excitement in a deal that ensures two more films in the franchise, with "Fast Five" director Justin Lin at the helm and Arnold Schwarzenegger attached to star in some capacity. We must act quickly, my love, as the rights revert back to James Cameron in 2018. Annapurna Films: where now means immediately. My lip I bite, the racing of my pulse, the thought of 'Terminator' residuals purchasing a beach house, a yacht and a romantic isle where we can get away and plan future Charlie Kaufman films. Cannes is lovely this time of year, but there can be no vision on those shores more exquisite than the head of Annapurna Pictures, m'lady. [Deadline]