Now Sucking In Three Dimensions: 'Star Wars: The Phantom Menace' 3D Hits Theaters Feb. 10, 2012

by Kevin Jagernauth
March 3, 2011 6:02 AM
4 Comments

Jar-Jar Binks In 3D! Finally!

As every years passes, George Lucas continues to find ways to milk money out of gullible and should-know-better-but-they-don't 'Star Wars' fans who continue to throw dollars at the franchise presumably in attempt that hopefully, somewhere down the line, Lucas will actually deliver something remotely resembling the pleasures of those original films (and we won't even get into the who-shoots-first controversy and the fact that the original, pre-CGI gunked cuts of those films continue to be available in compromised versions).

So, what's Lucas' new ploy? The shiny new Hollywood trend, 3D! Last fall it was announced that Lucas was going post-convert all six 'Star Wars' films releasing each episode, one per year, starting with the first in 2012. Well Deadline has snagged a copy of the press release that announces that in the midst of the first quarter blahs, Lucas will extract money from filmgoers with "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" hitting on February 10, 2012. The date is a Wednesday, and it will arrive two days before Nic Cage revs up his motorcycle in the 3D "Ghost Rider: I Need To Make Castle Payments." That should make for one of the dumbest box office battles ever. We hope audiences punish Hollywood by avoiding both films and seeing something else instead but that will never happen.

If somehow you luckily avoided 'Phantom Menace' the film tells the story of a young Anakin Skywalker via a lot of wooden acting by Liam Neeson, Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor and an abundance of political mumbo jumbo talking scenes. The film is probably most famously remembered for introducing us to the pretty-much-racist sidekick, the CGI created Jar-Jar Binks, whose annoying, "massa massa" patois make Skidz and Mudflap from "Transformers" look like civil rights activists.

You get what you pay for folks. We'd like to think that people will know better and stick a middle finger up at Lucas but we're not that naive.

More: Films, '90s Films, Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace

4 Comments

| Reply
starway2001 | March 3, 2011 7:11 AMReply

While this is my least favorite of the six, it's hard to remember that kids actually really like this movie. You know... kids. Kids being defined as those who are not 35, over-weight, excessively wear mod t-shirts, and suffer from Acute Cynicism Disorder.
Kevin Jagernauth | March 3, 2011 6:32 AMReply

You're right, I fixed. Those three films have all congealed into one massive ball of suck in my memory.
Edward Davis | March 3, 2011 6:31 AMReply

Silly kid, Jake Lloyd was a boy and then he grew up to be Hayden Christensen, duh.
Archie | March 3, 2011 6:30 AMReply

Hayden Christensen wasn't in Episode I, Jake Lloyd was.