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Oh Good, Allan Loeb Wrote 'San Andreas: 3D' An Earthquake Disaster Movie

by Kevin Jagernauth
December 2, 2011 12:35 PM
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"...veteran Hollywood screenwriter"? Whoa, whoa there 24 Frames, let's not lose our minds when talking about Allan Loeb. This "veteran" only had his first screenplay produced four years ago ("Things We Lost In The Fire") and since than has become the highest paid hack in Hollywood, getting paid millions to deliver dreck like "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps," "The Dilemma," "The Switch" and "Just Go With It." Next year, the mediocrity continues as he's penned the '80s musical "Rock Of Ages" and the Kevin James MMA comedy (we're not fucking kidding) "Here Comes The Boom." The guy also has a number of projects in development, including one bonafide disaster.

Disaster movie that is. Loeb has taken his pen and written "San Andreas: 3D" which is exactly what it sounds like. Set up over at New Line, with producer Beau Flynn ("Journey To The Center Of The Earth," "Red Dawn") the project has been compared to "2012" (good Lord) following a man who has to travel from Los Angeles to San Francisco following The Big One to reconcile with his children and estranged wife, using some "unconventional transportation" to get there. And this would be in three dimensions to make it awesomer or whatever.

The project is still in early stages, with a director being sought, to turn this movie into a blockbuster behemoth. Say what you will about Loeb, but audiences love seeing shit get destroyed, so this concept is almost a license to print money. But if it has the "Loeb touch," it also means it will likely be pretty pedestrian and borderline unwatchable. Disaster indeed. And of this just reminds us that Brad Bird's first live action project was going to be "1902," a large scale movie about the famed San Francisco earthquake which sounds like a much more tantalizing endeavor. Let's hope Loeb's thing, which is looking first out of the gate, doesn't dash any chances of Bird's movie ever happening.

But until either of those movies happen, we'll always have "Earthquake" to fill our building crumbling needs.

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  • W.J. | December 3, 2011 10:12 PMReply

    Given how subtle and affecting Loeb's Things We Lost in the Fire was, it's mystifying how bad all of his subsequent work has been. A paycheck job is one thing, but some of those films are downright unwatchable. You'd think someone who'd demonstrated that much skill wouldn't simply forget how to write, even when it's just another Adam Sandler vehicle.

  • Glass | December 2, 2011 10:25 PMReply

    Playlist is a great horseshit-news filter in the movie world. Deadline has like 60 news stories a day, and maybe 3 I''ll click on. Playlist probably has 20 or so, and I've 10 tabs open after I've skimmed all of the headlines. Shouts out.

  • scribe | December 2, 2011 2:49 PMReply

    They're usually summarizing stories from THR, Variety and Deadline. 24 frames breaks nothing. KJ you should create a side blog titled, "Loeb Watch" or "Loebopolis Now" maybe "Frontal Loeb" and dedicate it solely to your Allan Loeb articles. A critics hatred for an artist can be so satisfying to watch...Frank and Francis anyone?

  • a | December 2, 2011 12:59 PMReply

    so the guy who spends his time summarizing other people's stories from deadline and the LA times is calling someone a hack? ok then

  • Kevin | December 2, 2011 3:29 PM

    1) Uh, 24 Frames breaks a lot of news. 2) Good idea.

  • Kevin | December 2, 2011 1:27 PM

    Just to be clear, I'm calling Loeb a hack, not the LA Times. Nice try though. And if you don't like our "summaries" (lol) you don't have to read us, guy.

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