But that's what might be happening, as Relativity is now talking with Scott Derrickson to direct a big screen version of David and Goliath, whose story will apparently be told with all the crushing subtlety of "300." John D. Payne and Patrick McKay wrote the screenplay but we're not sure who they are and neither is IMDb. It's been a while since we were in Sunday School but apparently "Goliath" -- as it's called -- will have "an epic chase and adventure" vibe, which we're pretty sure wasn't in the tale our teachers told us. But [spoiler!] David does cut off Goliath's head so that's kind of cool.
If anything, the film does have a chance to make slingshots and stones relevant again. But yeah, we can't say we're looking forward to this monstrosity (ha!) particularly with Derrickson leading the charge. [Deadline]