So Hollywood has decided to take the last day or so to double down on their efforts to turn every product, food or theme park attraction into a blockbuster tentpole. Out of that abyss comes a trio of projects that paint a pretty depressing portrait of what passes for creativity at the studio level.
First up, Deadline reports that Mattel has teamed up with Sony to make a live-action comedy based on Barbie, and things are moving ridiculously fast on this one. Jenny Bick ("Sex & The City," "The Big C," "Rio 2") is writing the script, and if studio chief Amy Pascal has her way, this picture will be shooting before the year is out. There are no exact plot details yet, but apparently a pitch by Bicks that finds Barbie using "her personal and professional skills to step into the lives of others and improve them, almost like a modern-day Mary Poppins" won over Mattel. Yeesh.
Meanwhile, filmmaker Adam Rifkin ("Detroit Rock City," "The Chase") snagged the TV and movie rights for Marshmallow Peeps. Yes, the fucking candy. Deadline adds that Rifkin got the idea that these could make a movie after watching kids make a diorama with the teeth rotting product, and the director is already at work on the story and script, and is hoping to land a studio partner to make this happen. Sadly, it probably won't be that hard.
Lastly, Disney has tapped Jon Turteltaub ("Last Vegas," "National Treasure") to direct "It's A Small World," based on the their hugely popular theme park ride. Jared Stern ("Wreck-It-Ralph," "The Internship") will write the script and obviously, according to Deadline, this is being viewed "as a potential franchise." Sigh.