Troll Dolls

7. "Joe" on The Worst Films of the Year ... So Far.
Of course, the “Worst Films of the Year… So Far” inspired a lot of intellectual debate about some of our controversial choices … NOT. It was a black hole of vitriol, “fucks,” and bad spelling. Playlister Chris Bell really rankled some with his choice of “The Place Beyond the Pines,” and that’s his opinion. A lot of you disagreed but that’s OKAY. Here’s one way “Joe” decided to voice his displeasure with Chris’ selection. 

that's that chris bell you are the human sheet

If Chris Bell is The Human Sheet, he’s Egyptian Cotton 1000-thread count, Joe!

This aggression against Chris Bell has continued to rage, endlessly entertaining us at Playlist HQ, but the culminating moment came on our "Underrated/Overrated" feature, care of "Bob": 

BOB | DECEMBER 17, 2013 3:57 PM

you are still a shit bell


I will always remember you.

RP | DECEMBER 17, 2013 7:18 PM

Man, cue Sarah McLachlan and my tears and laughter.

Just beautiful. 

"Jennifer Lawrence actually died in 2011 in a boating accident and the new actress receiving all this acclaim is a clone."

6. "Farah X" on Jennifer Lawrence
You might remember when we used to get inundated with comments from Serge about Scarlett Johansson being stolen biological material (we can’t wait to hear what he thinks of “Her”), but it seems the clone conspiracy has moved onto another blonde starlet. “Farah X” tells us what’s up:

Jennifer Lawrence actually died in 2o11 in a boating accident and the new actress receiving all this acclaim is a clone. Bier is one of the few people who has become intimately close with this new clone.

Which makes no sense since the post is about Saoirse Ronan working with Susanne Bier … but no matter. Think Lawrence’s adorable, breath-mint-spilling awkwardness is genetically modified? She may be just too charming to be real.

5. "Brad" on Terrence Howard
We just really like this description of why “Brad” doesn’t like Terrence Howard.

Terrence Howard was one of the only things I didn't like about that movie. He reminds me of a smarmy guy that used to loiter by the basketball courts in the public park behind the high school. He would drop hints about having stuff for sale. Eventually it was too exhausting trying to ignore him so I found another place to shoot hoops. Perhaps the producers just wanted someplace else to shoot hoops.

Cool story, Brad! 

Fast & Furious 6 Vin Diesel Paul Walker

4. "Fast Sex" on "Furious 6" 
Who would have thought that someone who goes by the handle “FastSex” would have an appreciation for the production design of Jack Fisk? You all are a complicated bunch. Anyway, our friend here schooled us on what it takes to be true Americans. 

I really hope you bros aren't being sarcastic with this post. This movie is going to own and turn you Terry Malick fans into true Americans. Sure you can get deep about the meaning of love in war, the significance of space time in shaping our destiny, and get down with some sweet Fisk production design, but what you really need is some fast cars, babes, explosions, and Vin Diesel. USA!!!!

And you know what, you’re right, “FastSex,” “The Fast & the Furious 6,” did put some hair on our chests. We’ll never doubt you again. If only all comments ended with “USA!!!!” (RIP Paul Walker.)