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Peanut Gallery: Our 10 Best Commenters Of 2013

Features
by Katie Walsh
December 20, 2013 11:54 AM
16 Comments
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3. "Brent" on Kellan Lutz
As always, our Year End features always inspire our most impassioned and heated comments (translation: comments telling us we’re stupid, horrible people), but this one, from “Brent Stein” on our 25 Best Breakthrough Performances of 2013 really made us LOL (instead of contemplating restraining orders).

wtf is kellan lutz? my boy got the snub. now y'all gettin the snub. removin y'all from my favorites. peace

"wtf is kellan lutz? my boy got the snub. now y'all gettin the snub. removin y'all from my favorites. peace"

We’d argue that Kellen’s “breakthough” was probably in “Twilight” as the oafish Emmett, and Lutz only starred in something called “Java Heat,” this year, which sounds like a Starbucks blend. Is that what you were talking about Brent? Brent? Brent are you snubbing us? Brent can we make it back on your favorites? BREENNNNNTTT!!!!

2. "CLAIRE P.S. I EDOREU ELLEN" on "Finding Nemo 2"
This one, aside from being totally mystifying (why is an 11-year-old reading our blog? And who knew 11-year-olds were so passionate about Ellen?) just makes us glad that Google didn’t exist when we were kids. 

Hi my name is Claire lamb and the last time i ate a fish was two weeks ago i know i know hold your applause for later But really i can't wait to hear Ellen be dorky dory that fits right in I'm not saying u r dorky or any thing ellen it's just that your voice it perfect for dory and I love your show so much I swear someday I just might be on you show i dream of being on it anyway I can't wait for finding nemo 2 please comment on my comment and also I am only eleven to think of you actually reading this would just fell soo good so can't wait bye.

Claire’s parents: please confiscate your child’s iPad and replace it with a dictionary. We use the F-word on this site! Please think of your children!

1. "Herry69" on "Red 2"
This comment from “Herry69” on our “Red 2” review gave us a lot to ponder. And a lot for the writers in “hollowood.”

most of the writers in hollowood are absolute idiots ! zero originality, zero imagination, pure ignorance, pure stupidity ! the only thing these pathetic losers can come up with are remakes, sequels, prequels, inaccuracies, b.s. etc. they should do the world a favour and take their stupid cyanide medications so they can shut the f up !!!

That’s right, screenwriters, take your cyanide medications to shut the f up !!! And look for my screenplay, "inaccuracies, b.s." coming to next year's Black List!

These represent some heights of crazy that may be hard to attain, but we believe in you. Keep trying and maybe you’ll make the list next year!

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16 Comments

  • Gerard Kennelly | January 2, 2014 4:11 PMReply

    http://www dot thehollywoodnews dot com/2014/01/01/first-trailer-for-all-star-le-carre-adaptation-a-most-wanted-man/

    A MOST WANTED MAN - Trailer Description
    group of people in a cold serious room
    philip seymour hoffman voiceover---
    you are looking at me at us
    but we dont exist not legally not officially
    because german intelligence gets the job done

    PSH again talking to tech people in front of bourne style screens
    we know this boy has friends...
    you do not escape russian security or a turkish prison without help
    whos helping him and why

    PSH voiceover ---
    our sources dont come to us we find them
    we become their friends
    their brothers, their fathers, their lovers if we have to
    we find out where they hurt
    and we pick at their wounds till they beg us to stop
    and when they are ours and only then..
    it takes a minnow to catch a barracuda
    a barricuda to catch a shark

    PSH says to willem dafoe --
    we have a job to do tommy
    youre going to help me do it

    dafoe responds--
    whats to stop me from just walking away from this
    whatever this is

    PSH voiceover---
    we watch
    we wait

    PSH says to rachel mcadams in a holding cell ---
    your choice is between us and nobody
    the clock is ticking

    robin wright as the CIA says to PSH --
    define for us.. what you think the long term objective would be

    PSH takes a puff of his cig and responds --
    to make the world a safer place... isn't that enough ?
    end of Trailer

  • Gerard Kennelly | January 2, 2014 4:03 PMReply

    GODZILLA TRAILER (that warner bros pulled) DESCRIPTION

    warner bros logo in manga lettering

    legendary logo in manga lettering

    black smoke
    crushed buildings
    deserted streets
    deserted cars

    cue voice over maybe the president (sounds kinda like chris cooper)

    YOU KNEW THE WORLD WOULD NOT BE THE SAME
    A FEW PEOPLE CRIED

    we see train deserted looks like something very big stood on it

    MOST PEOPLE WERE SILENT
    THEY REMEMBERED THE LINE FROM THE HINDU SCRIPTURE

    we see a building with a hole in it
    it looks like something very big walked straight through it

    VISHNU TAKES ON MULTI ARMED FORM

    we see several godzilla claws on ground as if dead

    AND SAYS

    we hear the godzilla scream
    sounds like the T Rex in jurassic park if guillermo del toro had directed

    NOW I AM BECOME DEATH THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS

    at exact 1 min 02 sec we hear a helicopter

    through 9/11 style white smoke we can make out godzilla moving

    the camera went up and at the very end we see its profile as it roared again

    fade to black

    G O D Z I L L A

    with the red japanese text behind the english

  • Gerard Kennelly aka brick tamlin | January 2, 2014 3:56 PMReply

    that is me

    i am the guy who’s been posting full on shot-by-shot trailer descriptions of trailers that might get yanked

    providing a CRUCIAL service ? LOL

    working my magic ? thanks very much :)

    https://www dot facebook dot com/gerard.kennelly

  • Katie Walsh | January 2, 2014 6:04 PM

    GERARD!!!!!!

  • Jake17 | December 22, 2013 10:30 AMReply

    "Hi my name is Claire lamb and the last time i ate a fish was two weeks ago i know i know hold your applause for later"

    This is so bizarrely funny and stupid it hurts. I love this site for so many reasons, and one of them is the great sense of humor you have about all these trolls. Keep up the good work.

  • Someone | December 22, 2013 8:05 AMReply

    ''girls ,there's nothing wrong with enjoying a shirtless guy if its addds to thestory'' I just lost it there. Truer words were never spoken.

  • Joshua Polanski | December 20, 2013 11:23 PMReply

    This is the exact reason why I adore this website. I think I will comment more often..

  • Piotr | December 21, 2013 9:17 PM

    I see what you did there.

  • Joshua Polanski | December 20, 2013 8:03 PMReply

    This is the exact reason why I adore this website. I think I will comment more often..

  • Frank | December 20, 2013 2:44 PMReply

    I should have been a shoe-in for number one for making Gilchrist cry but those comments got deleted :(

  • Alissa | December 20, 2013 2:04 PMReply

    How is Alan TrollB not on this list? He is here everyday crying and moaning about something. God, he desperately loves you guys so much.

  • Hannah | December 22, 2013 2:48 PM

    Man, he's gonna have a tantrum any minute now. Remember when he said all that weird stuff about… I don't wanna even repeat it, he's twisted.

  • Jake17 | December 22, 2013 10:19 AM

    They snubbed him just to piss him off a bit more...

  • Dale Earnhardt High School Junior | December 20, 2013 1:04 PMReply

    This New World Order stuff has to go. I know for a fact that Henry69 and Brent are both high level reptilian republicans working on a comment device that will spam blogs with Lutz-love and vitriol for all things humanity. Those little piggies eat up all the sweet treats and don't save any for the make a wishers. I thank god every day that Oscar the Grouch raped Patty LaBelle.

  • Katie Walsh | December 20, 2013 1:12 PM

    Excellently played.

  • benutty | December 20, 2013 12:03 PMReply

    I adore you guys. I wish you'd unblock me on twitter :((((((((((((

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