October 17, 2012 at 12:16PM
This week marks the less-than-eagerly awaited release of "Alex Cross," which sees inexplicably popular drag artist Tyler Perry take up the mantle of the titular police psychologist played by Morgan Freeman in "Kiss The Girls" and "Along Came A Spider." There are many amusing/baffling things about the film, but perhaps first among them is the poster tagline: "Don't Ever Cross Alex Cross." Presumably thought up by a frazzled intern during a toilet break after alternatives like 'Don't Make Alex Cross Cross," "You're Across From A. Cross" and "Cross Alex Cross Alex Cross Cross Cross," it'll be impressive if anything dumber appears on a movie poster this year.
"Nobody does it better... thirteen times."
We can't quite pinpoint what's grammatically wrong with this sentence, but there's definitely something up. Also, "Octopussy" was ten Bond films ago?