So what's the result like? Disappointing and pretty hokey to say the least. McCartney has jumped on the bandwagon of releasing an album of standards, and while these first videos for his awkwardly named LP Kisses On The Bottom are for "My Valentine" -- one of the two originals on the disc -- it seems his inspiration stopped the moment he found his two Hollywood actors. Three black-and-white videos see Portman and Depp interpreting the lyrics of the song in quasi-sign language each in their own separate solo vids and then cut together for the third. The whole thing feels like an elementary school play, though Depp's is (unintentionally?) hilarious, as he comes off like some kind of mystic shaman. And no, that's not him playing guitar -- it's actually Eric Clapton.