Watch: 'Independence Day' Meets 'Pearl Harbor' In New Trailer For 'Battleship'

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by Kevin Jagernauth
March 13, 2012 12:03 PM
15 Comments
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"Warning red, weapons tight...I want everything loaded," Liam Neeson gravely intones to a bunch of guys stranded in Alaskan wilderness to his crew. Why? Because a bunch of Transformers from space who are gonna create a huge debris field are coming to Earth in the latest trailer for "Battleship."

The most explosion-y of the spots yet, this trailer makes the case that Universal really, really wanted to make "Transfomers 4" instead. Focusing heavily on the baddies, which look like their suits were ripped out of "Halo," these aliens (or whatever) seem hella fierce. In fact, we have no idea how these puny little boats are going to defeat a massive onslaught of high tech weaponry from beyond, but maybe Taylor Kitsch and co. run into Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum on the way. At any rate, this looks pretty terrible, a ludicrous plot coupled with lots of loud noises hoping to distract you from how silly it all seems. And while many have this in the tank for a bomb, sometimes this is all it takes to get audiences to fork over their cash. And unlike "John Carter," at least people know what a "Battleship" is. Plus, RIHANNA, WOO!

"Battleship" will sink or swim on May 18th, but folks in the U.K. get it more than a month early on April 11th.

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15 Comments

  • padre | March 13, 2012 10:08 PMReply

    I have changed my mind! Superstar Rihanna is going to carry this thing to victory! And everybody loves Liam Neeson! Taylor Kitsch's meager career is saved! It's Transformers 4! BOOYAH! Money in the bank!

  • Rah-al | March 13, 2012 5:16 PMReply

    So wait Rihanna is in the navy? This looks so stupid that I predict it will make a fortune. Sadly.

  • Oogle monster | March 13, 2012 3:53 PMReply

    Hold up, is that Landry?!! Peter Berg is really loyal to his FNL stars.

  • Tom | March 14, 2012 9:32 AM

    Good ol' Landry. Punched so far above his weight in Season 2. Could it possible he bonks the blonde AND Rhianna in this?

    Just sayin'.

  • Nolan | March 13, 2012 1:58 PMReply

    Rihanna, reading the script: "So they just want me to stand around and look pouty and/or concerned? and they're going to pay me HOW much?"

  • Murphy | March 13, 2012 1:50 PMReply

    Lance!

  • Will | March 13, 2012 1:16 PMReply

    I think this looks awesome!! And I usually hate these types of movies.

  • Daniel | March 13, 2012 12:57 PMReply

    You have to love the urethra-cam shot of the main gun unloading right into the camera. Symbolism, folks. Classy stuff.

  • Tobias Bowman | March 13, 2012 12:56 PMReply

    I am currently muttering to myself in Hebrew, trying to remember the notes from Dr Jones' diary which guide me through this hellish onslaught. "Junior, in hebrew... 'utter waste of f**king time and money' is spelt with an I" - Oh looks like I failed and had my faith in the viewing public decapitated once again.

  • Boetticher | March 13, 2012 12:42 PMReply

    Or, Dillon Panthers vs Decepticons!

    I have much love for FNL. Why go all McBay on me?

    Still, I think it'd be just about watchable (in a 'low expectations' kind of way). It certainly won't be really, PAINFULLY bad, like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Inception.

    @drdang: I agree.. teenage boys will eat this up.

  • KT | March 13, 2012 12:29 PMReply

    I'll wait for May 2013... when "Pacific Rim" shows 'em how it's done.

  • AlexP | March 13, 2012 12:26 PMReply

    Taylor Kitsch is about to have a really bad year. This is gonna be another "John Carter"-sized flop.

  • Debbie Downer | March 13, 2012 3:49 PM

    @Huffy- Isn't the budget on this film (not factoring in marketing costs) greater than JC? I don't see this film playing like gangbusters unless Rihanna fans- yes, she may be the driving force- come out to support her. All said, this film looks horrible and I have zero interest in seeing it. Having been at a test screening for Savages, I can say that Kitsch will fare much better with that film.

  • Huffy | March 13, 2012 2:17 PM

    Unlike Disney the Universal marketing department doesn't have their heads up their asses, so I imagine that this won't totally flop domestically. And retarded movies with lots of special effects always do gangbusters internationally, and the fact that a lot of markets won't have the "They made a movie out of WHAT?!?!" reaction is only going to help. Hate to say it but this will probably do fine.

  • drdang | March 13, 2012 12:16 PMReply

    Yup, this looks too much like a Transformers film to not be a huge hit.

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