Battleship Poster

So this is what $200 million dollars spent on a board game movie looks like, and despite all the cash thrown around, this new trailer for "Battleship" plays like a mashup of every blockbuster movie ever made.

Featuring alien ships and technology designs seemingly left over from "Halo" and "Transformers" (which Hasbro takes great pains to remind is also a thing they make), some J.J. Abrams style lens flare, "Independence Day" worthy AMERI-CUH bravado and Michael Bay stamped destruction, the only impression we're left with at the end of this trailer is: Rihanna is really the lead? Perhaps it speaks to her acting ability or the fact that maybe not that much acting is required that she is not the worst thing in is. But that dialogue doesn't get off so easy. "Who's next in charge?" "YOU ARE" (Shouldn't he know that as a naval officer?)

Loud, dumb and not very fun, we think a part of our brain just died. "Battleship" trailer is below and it will sink your multiplex on May 18, 2012.