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Watch: 'Conan The Barbarian' Red Band Trailer Has Lots Of Blood, Not Much Brains

by Kevin Jagernauth
June 17, 2011 5:58 AM
6 Comments
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Well, at least "Conan The Barbarian" isn't aspiring to be anything its not but that doesn't mean it still doesn't look like a giant pile of shit.

A new red band trailer has dropped for the upcoming Jason Momoa action film and it seems the only tools director Marcus Nispel was given was some swords, vats and vats of fake blood and a camera. With so many phallic blades plunging everywhere, this plays like some kind of medieval porno but we mostly were just left wondering if there is anything Ron Perlman won't cash a paycheck for. We'll be honest, we're not even sure what the plot is with this one (though we don't there is much of a story) but if we have any curiosity, it's to see how that sea monster thingy comes into the equation.

Anyway, "Conan The Barbarian" goes swinging into theaters on August 19th. Check out the bloody trailer below (and turn down your speakers if you don't want to hear some absolutely terrible alt-rock).

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6 Comments

  • Horstradamus | August 17, 2011 12:15 PMReply

    For me, if it's not Arnold, it's not Conan. This guy looks terrible.

  • Tarzan | June 20, 2011 1:52 AMReply

    The Conan trailer looks fun. It should be bloody...umm I'ts "Conan". If you girls want less blood go see "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".

  • Taranaich | June 19, 2011 11:11 AMReply

    "Well, at least “Conan The Barbarian” isn’t aspiring to be anything its not"

    I really don't get this mentality. We have plenty of big dumb action movies: why be hostile to any that seek to aspire beyond that? It isn't as if the big dumb action movie genre's going to die out, and the number of action films that seek to have something to say deserve praise.

    "With so many phallic blades plunging everywhere, this plays like some kind of medieval porno"

    If someone sees phallic imagery in everything, I'd say that says more about the observer than the work, personally.

    "Somewhere John Milius is sadly shaking his head."

    Which is exactly what Robert E. Howard fans were doing when his Viking-Samurai-Nietzche film came out in 1982.

  • goldfarb | June 18, 2011 12:56 PMReply

    @Mark
    or loading a gun.

  • Mark | June 17, 2011 6:12 AMReply

    Atrocious. Somewhere John Milius is sadly shaking his head.

  • carrie | June 17, 2011 6:12 AMReply

    "Conan The Barbarian’ Trailer Has Lots Of Blood, Not Much Brains" LOL we talk about Conan by Nispel ,not about a movie by Fincher

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