Oh, those teenage years when you just don't feel comfortable in your skin and feel like an alien in your own body. How better to address these complex issues than with a Jason Bourne-style action pic starring Taylor Lautner!

The first trailer for "Abduction" has dropped, yet another film of diminishing returns from the used-to-be-awesome director John Singleton. In the film, Lautner plays a young man whose girlfriend logs on to [insert Apple product here] and finds out that Lautner is actually a missing kid whose whole life as he knows it is a lie! Mercy me! Cue a bunch of people including a dead-eyed assassin and Alfred Molina trying to track him down -- you know this is a movie because security cameras are suddenly able to broadcast in color in perfect HD. Amazing! And somehow, Sigourney Weaver got convinced to do this but no surprise she hides behind a bunch of balloons.

So yeah, this looks pretty silly but there are a bunch of girls out there fainting at their keyboards with all the steamy kissing and groping going on. Team Meh. "Abduction" opens on September 23rd.