Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...
Watch: Shailene Woodley Gets NSFW In 2 Clips From 'White Bird In A Blizzard' Plus New Pics Watch: Shailene Woodley Gets NSFW In 2 Clips From 'White Bird In A Blizzard' Plus New Pics TIFF Review: 'Cake' Starring Jennifer Aniston, Anna Kendrick, Sam Worthington & More TIFF Review: 'Cake' Starring Jennifer Aniston, Anna Kendrick, Sam Worthington & More First Look: Matthew McConaughey & Ken Watanabe In Gus Van Sant’s ‘Sea Of Trees’ First Look: Matthew McConaughey & Ken Watanabe In Gus Van Sant’s ‘Sea Of Trees’ Tom Hardy Says He'll Never Do Another Romantic Comedy Again Thanks To 'This Means War' Tom Hardy Says He'll Never Do Another Romantic Comedy Again Thanks To 'This Means War' David Fincher Apparently Thinks 'Dragon Tattoo' Sequel 'The Girl Who Played With Fire' Could Get Made David Fincher Apparently Thinks 'Dragon Tattoo' Sequel 'The Girl Who Played With Fire' Could Get Made Revisiting On The Rise: Where Are Our 2012 Picks Now? Revisiting On The Rise: Where Are Our 2012 Picks Now? Oscars: Dust Settles On The Fall Festivals With No Clear Best Picture Front-Runner (Yet) Oscars: Dust Settles On The Fall Festivals With No Clear Best Picture Front-Runner (Yet) Fall TV Preview: Our 22 Most Anticipated Shows For The Rest Of 2014 Fall TV Preview: Our 22 Most Anticipated Shows For The Rest Of 2014 Watch: NYFF Trailer Has Snippets Of ‘Inherent Vice’ Footage For Those Checking For Trailers Several Times A Day Watch: NYFF Trailer Has Snippets Of ‘Inherent Vice’ Footage For Those Checking For Trailers Several Times A Day TIFF Review: 'Still Alice' Starring Julianne Moore, Kristen Stewart, Alec Baldwin & Kate Bosworth TIFF Review: 'Still Alice' Starring Julianne Moore, Kristen Stewart, Alec Baldwin & Kate Bosworth Review: 'The Disappearance Of Eleanor Rigby: Them' Starring Jessica Chastain & James McAvoy Review: 'The Disappearance Of Eleanor Rigby: Them' Starring Jessica Chastain & James McAvoy Jason Reitman Calls ‘Labor Day’ "A Misguided Effort" Jason Reitman Calls ‘Labor Day’ "A Misguided Effort" David Fincher & James Ellroy Plotting 1950s Crime Noir Series For HBO David Fincher & James Ellroy Plotting 1950s Crime Noir Series For HBO Chris Evans On His Directorial Debut ‘Before We Go,’ Filming In New York, & ‘Avengers: Age Of Ultron’ Chris Evans On His Directorial Debut ‘Before We Go,’ Filming In New York, & ‘Avengers: Age Of Ultron’ Boardwalk Empire - Season 5 - Episode 1 Recap: “Golden Days For Boys & Girls” Boardwalk Empire - Season 5 - Episode 1 Recap: “Golden Days For Boys & Girls” The Best Documentaries Of 2014 So Far The Best Documentaries Of 2014 So Far The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The 20 Best TV Shows Of The 2013/2014 Season The Best Films Of 2014 So Far... The Best Films Of 2014 So Far... The 10 Best & Worst Movie Sex Scenes The 10 Best & Worst Movie Sex Scenes All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More All The Songs In 'Pitch Perfect' Including La Roux, David Guetta, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj & More

Watch: Trailer For Ayn Rand Adaptation 'Atlas Shrugged Part 1' Hilarious On So Many Levels

Photo of Oliver Lyttelton By Oliver Lyttelton | www.oliverlyttelton.com February 14, 2011 at 3:06AM

For the moment, let's try to leave aside the politics and philosophy of Ayn Rand -- after all, only so many words can really be expounded on a point of view that ultimately comes down to not giving a shit about your fellow human beings. There's a reason that it's taken over half a century for a film adaptation of Rand's magnum opus, "Atlas Shrugged," to reach screens; as well as being an awful sociopath (her ideal man was a convicted murderer who kidnapped, disemboweled and chopped the legs off a twelve year old girl), Rand was also a terrible writer, whose books are full of leaden prose, heavy-handed metaphor and very little drama.
32


For the moment, let's try to leave aside the politics and philosophy of Ayn Rand -- after all, only so many words can really be expounded on a point of view that ultimately comes down to not giving a shit about your fellow human beings. There's a reason that it's taken over half a century for a film adaptation of Rand's magnum opus, "Atlas Shrugged," to reach screens; as well as being an awful sociopath (her ideal man was a convicted murderer who kidnapped, disemboweled and chopped the legs off a twelve year old girl), Rand was also a terrible writer, whose books are full of leaden prose, heavy-handed metaphor and very little drama.

"Atlas Shrugged," or at least the first part of a interminable-sounding four part adaptation, finally went before cameras last summer, thanks to the imminent expiry of the rights, with "One Tree Hill" star Paul Johansson (no, us neither) at the helm, and starring relative newcomer Taylor Schilling and the boat captain from "Lost" who looks like Richard Roxburgh. A trailer hit over the weekend after premiering at The American Conservative Union's Conservative Political Action Conference; could it possibly be as bad as we predicted back at the start of the year?

You bet your ass it could. Looking for all the world like a Funny or Die parody of the novel, it's packed to the brim with terrible readings of unintentionally hilarious lines ("Why ask useless questions? How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? Who is John Galt?"), features more shots of poorly-rendered CGI trains than the first assembly of "Unstoppable," and appears to have been shot by the DoP from a daytime soap opera.

On the plus side, this certainly seems to have the potential to replace "The Room" as an endlessly quotable disaster, destined to play midnight movies to drunken hecklers for years to come -- we can certainly see "They are not getting my metal!" becoming a meme in years to come. On the down side, it also looks really fucking boring.

Still, congrats to Johansson & co for seemingly delivering the movie that Rand has always deserved. That's not a compliment. Matthew Marsden ("Rambo"), Graham Beckel ("Battlestar Galactica"), Edi Gathegi ("Twilight"), Jsu Garcia ("Che"), Michael Lerner ("Barton Fink") and Patrick Fischler ("Mad Men"), all of whom were presumably about to have their homes repossessed when the gig came along, co-star. If you're an Objectivist, a hardcore "One Tree Hill" fan, Glenn Beck, or a masochist, you'll be able to see the finished product soon: the picture's being self-distributed by The Strike Productions from April 15th, timed, predictably, to coincide with Tax Day.

This article is related to: Films, Atlas Shrugged: Part I


The Playlist

The obsessives' guide to contemporary cinema via film discussion, news, reviews, features, nostalgia, movie music, soundtracks, DVDs and more.


E-Mail Updates