Watch: Trailer For 'The Killer Elite' Is A Mashup Of Every Jason Statham Movie Ever Made

by Kevin Jagernauth
June 23, 2011 2:35 AM
13 Comments
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There are so many things going wrong in this trailer we don't know where to begin. How about the non-ironic use of (a cover version of) the Scorpions "Rock You Like A Hurricane"? How about a moustache as an audience indicator that someone is a bad guy? Since when did Robert De Niro get relegated to barely noteworthy supporting actor? All these things and a gratuitous butt shot are present in the trailer for "The Killer Elite."

Playing like a mashup of every Jason Statham movie you've ever seen, this time he plays the world’s most skilled special-ops agent (obviously) who comes out of self-imposed exile to put together a team to rescue his former mentor played by De Niro. They will face off against Clive Owen who plays the villain and his cadre of baddies known under the sinister(?) name “The Feather Men.” Now cue up Statham doing the exact same stunts he's done in "The Transporter," "The Mechanic," "Crank," "War" and whatever else. Zzzzz. You've seen this movie already. Twice.

Anyway, if you're still holding out hope that somehow it might be different or that De Niro's presence might be worth something, you can check it out when it opens on September 23rd. Trailer below.




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13 Comments

  • rascal shats | June 23, 2011 10:10 AMReply

    thank you @Cortazar. i was beginning to think i was taking crazy pills and would be forced to have my sweet ass "Scorps in Berlin" tattoo lazered off of my fucking back, but you proved that I was right. Thank you. Never forget 9/11. Or Winds of Change.

  • Cortazar | June 23, 2011 8:42 AMReply

    not a cover version, Rock you like a hurricane, it's the Scorpions with the Berlin philarmonic orchestra

  • Fred | June 23, 2011 5:06 AMReply

    @Chris Bell
    Good one, but I never said I was pissed that documentaries are being made (there are many great ones), just that there are a lot out there and they seem to be automatically presumed by some to be worthwhile like, you know, Statham movies are always presumed by some to be bad.

  • Kathleen Walsh | June 23, 2011 5:05 AMReply

    THIS LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING.

  • gonad | June 23, 2011 4:46 AMReply

    The still of De Niro and Stath by the car in the desert road reminded me of that wicked roadside shootout with Gig Young and Robert Webber in Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.

  • Nik Grape | June 23, 2011 4:36 AMReply

    This does look like one huge pile of cliched shit BUT ... at least De Niro is kicking ass again. That's something right?

  • J.J. | June 23, 2011 4:14 AMReply

    Statham represents everything that is wrong with film today. Deniro continues to spit on his legacy. Owen is a has been who never was. Does that about sum it up? Can you guys just report the news without throwing in, what usually amounts to, imbecilic remarks. I know the writers are trying to be clever and entertaining but...they're failing miserably. By the way, the sarcasm aimed at the name of the Clive Owen character's team is pointless. The movie is an adaption of the book "The Feather Men" by Ranulph Fiennes.

  • Chris Bell | June 23, 2011 4:07 AMReply

    I'm with you, Fred. I'm pissed about the whole "documentaries are being made" thing, too.

  • Fred | June 23, 2011 3:49 AMReply

    Statham bashing.....you've seen that here before more than twice. Maybe he'll star in "Never Let Me Go: The Next Harvest" or narrate one of the 114 documentaries to open every week and be culturally redeemed one day.

  • x | June 23, 2011 3:24 AMReply

    that's one hateful assessment. i liked the trailer a lot then, after reading your review, realized it was way too crude and predictable. now i don't like the trailer and feel like a better person. i was going to see the movie but have come to my senses. i now realize that 'the killer elite' or any movie of its class is beneath me.

    thank you. thank you so much. you're great. you saved me from a less than optimal movie experience. something that, almost certainly, would have corroded my inner self and left me a poorer person. somebody that likes themselves just that much less. let a gobzillion other people see this movie and love every second of it. it'll be something they will have to live with. i won't. no sir. thanks to you.

    keep up the good work.

  • Josh | June 23, 2011 2:58 AMReply

    Hopefully this time Jason actually get Oscar recognition. Or some kind of recognition. His films are highly underrated.

  • Kevin Jagernauth | June 23, 2011 2:32 AMReply

    I love that the trailer opens with huge cliche of the bad guy with perfect opportunity to kill his nemesis only to spend too much time talking leading to the good guy making his escape.

  • Gabe Toro | June 23, 2011 2:28 AMReply

    You are wrong, Kevin. This looks awesome.

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